We Change, We Wait
by briita breakout
Summary: another fic that hopefully will be awesome :D
1. What's behind door number 1?

**Hey guys! This is just the start to something new. I'm not sure where it's going yet but...hopefully it'll be fun! Most of this probably isn't going to follow the epilogue, but who knows? Enjoy! :)**

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Blinking my eyes awake I surveyed the room. The sun punched rays through the tightly closed blinds. The soft duvet covers smoothed against my legs as I rolled over on my back. I could've sworn Hawke had slept between Eric and I last night, but neither of them lay next to me. My phone; strewn in a pile of my glasses, a few crinkled dollar bills, and a pack of % Gum, lay on the nightstand and flashed in my face that I had a missed message. Reaching for the iPhone, I sat up in bed and tucked my knees under my chin. My fingers ran along the side of the plastic zebra print cover and finally clicked the phone alive. The text was from Eric.

"Morning babe, I took Hawke out to breakfast and then I'm stopping at John's. I was going to wake you, but you looked to peaceful. Plus I didn't know if Lacey was going to be there."

The thought of Lacey made me sick and a flash of anger shot down my body. Just reading her name surrounded me in a fit of aggravation I couldn't wash away. It had been over a year since the last time I talked to her. I could still remember the look on her face after I slammed my hand across her cheek. I lost a friend and most likely my soul mate in the same day.

Quickly texting Eric back I slammed my phone back down on the table and plopped my head down on my knees. The worst part about being alone was your mind wondered to places you didn't want to ever bring up again. Turing my white-gold wedding band over and over on my finger the anger rose and rose up inside me. Fuck Lacey, she was dead to me.

Crawling out of bed I padded over to the master bathroom and pushed through the slightly cracked door. The lights around the mirror slowly burned to life and I sighed at my reflection. My matted hair was up in a ratty bun and eye liner was smudged all under my lower lids. Grabbing the tiny remote for the iHome, I hit shuffle and "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain soon filled the bathroom. Kicking off my rose nightgown I started the shower and waited for it to warm up. About to step in, I heard my phone ring in the other room and ran for it.

"Kennedy?" why the fuck was Kennedy calling me?

"Hello?" I answered bitterly.

"Hi," he timidly replied.

"Why are you calling me?" the anger started to bubble up inside again. Preparing to abruptly end the call, Kennedy replied softly: "It's our day."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked confused and fed up.

"Britt, it's October 2nd," Kennedy replied.

October 2nd. The day Kennedy and I fell in love, only weeks after meeting at the record company. It was three years ago, but after everything that happened, it felt like a million. I pictured young me and younger Kennedy walking on the beaches of Los Angeles. The band practices he missed to spend time with me.

I shook the thoughts out of my head. Kennedy was my past now, and he had fucked up far too many times. You can only try and fix things so many times. I wasn't about to let him get under my skin again.

"Don't call me again, ever." I slammed the phone down and let out a cry of frustration. Of course it would be October 2nd. Of course Kennedy would call me. You can only forgive someone so many times until all you do is end up hurting yourself. I was done hurting myself, I was happy without him. After not talking to him for almost a year, he had to fucking call. Ridiculous.

Turning back towards the bathroom I heard the door open behind me and jumped. Eric must've been home. What did I care if he saw me about to get in the shower, he'd already seen every part of me.

"Britta," a voice called after me. I froze. That wasn't Eric's voice. Spinning around I locked eyes with…Kennedy.

"Kennedy!" I exclaimed, "What are you doing? I'm naked!"

"It's okay, no one will see us!" Kennedy's voice sounded distanced.

"What…" I backed away and as my eyes reopened after a sudden blink, I wasn't home anymore.

It was pitch dark and all I heard were the crashing of waves. Craning my neck I searched my surroundings. Sitting up I felt tiny particles of sand falling off my back one by one. A pile of soggy teal bikini pieces lay at my feet as the waves drew closer.

Soon I felt a hand on my shoulder. "I told you," Kennedy whispered, "no one else is here."

His shaggy hair was short and bluntly cut the way it was when we first met. The scruff that usually occupied his chin was gone. All his features were softer and, and younger.

"Kenny," I whispered reaching for his face. His skin was soft. My whole body tingled as he grabbed hold of my wrist. "I'm right here," he whispered.

"What happened?" I begged.

He didn't respond. His soft hazel eyes stared into mine. The only light between us was cast by the moon above. The smell of the ocean surrounded my nostrils. How was this happening? This couldn't be happening.

Kennedy softly pressed his lips against mine and I pulled away. "What are you doing?" I scorned.

"I'm kissing you," he replied confused.

"You can't kiss me!" I exclaimed, "I'm married. I have a son. We're over Kennedy."

"What are you talking about?" Kennedy wrinkled his brow, "Britta, are feeling okay?"

Kennedy grabbed for my hand, I quickly snatched it away and stood up from the sandy ground.

"What the fuck is going on?" I yelled.

"What's going on is you're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend. We're at the beach. And we were kissing, but…" Kennedy explained.

I trembled backwards. Girlfriend? Where was I, some parallel universe? The world grew brighter around me. Soon I couldn't see anything but white.

"Kennedy, where are you?" I called. A flash of white light knocked me down.

Suddenly the temperature rose. I couldn't breathe. Gasping for air I peeled my eyes open and fell forward. Slam! My head cracked onto the side of the bus.

"What the fuck!" I exclaimed out loud.

Staggering backward, I caught my balance and studied my surroundings. The sun was shining high in the sky and the air was dense with heat. Looking down I was relieved to see I was atleast wearing clothes. My purple The Maine shirt and jean shorts. Oh no. I knew exactly where I was. Warped Tour, July 12th. The day Kennedy and I broke up.

I heard John Ohh's familiar voice through the bus window and I listened in on the already initiated conversation. The next voice was Kennedy's.

"What the fuck did you do man?" John Ohh demanded.

"It's bad," Kennedy replied, overtly upset, "It's really bad."

"What?!" John barked again.

"I, I cheated on Britta." Kennedy admitted.

Just hearing the words formed a lump in my throat the size of a softball. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be hearing this. I tried to walk away but my feet wouldn't move. What ever sick universe I was in, wanted me to hear this.

"You what?" John exclaimed, "with who?"

"Gabi," Kennedy faintly replied.

"Gabi?! You cheated on your girlfriend with your ex girlfriend, that you left to be with your girlfriend?" John questioned.

"I panicked okay!" Kennedy exclaimed, "I, I was going to ask Britta to marry me, so I went to the ring store. But Garrett, he texted me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." John stopped him, "you were gonna what?"

I fell to my knees. Kennedy was going to propose? Why didn't I know this until now? Or had I always known, and I just ignored it? A small rock lay on the pavement in front of me and I used it to sketch "help me" onto the black surface.

"Need help?" a voice above me cheerily asked.

Looking up, the sun blared into my eyes and I couldn't make out their face. Their slender frame slightly bent over my body and I could almost make out the shape of their hair, which I'd guessed was in a hat.

"Who are you?" I asked, afraid of my answer.

"Open your eyes," they whispered.

"My eyes are open," I exclaimed.

"Stand up then," the voice replied.

Huffing, I crawled out of my crotch position and stood before the voice that now had a face. Their black hair lay lazily shaken under a Boston Red Sox hat and their round brown eyes greeted mine.

"Wiley?" I blurted.

"The one and only," he smiled and pulled me into a hug. His grey zip up hoodie crashed onto my torso and I could smell his Jake Hollister cologne. I didn't want to let go. I dug my face into his shoulder as he rubbed my back. The hot sun beat down on the top of my head and I could feel Wiley breathing on the back of my neck.

"Can you just bring me home?" I cried over his shoulder.

"I can't do that," he sadly replied.

"Why not?" I begged as we pulled apart.

"Because that's not my job," Wiley replied.

"Your job?" I replied confused.

"My job is to make sure you listen," Wiley explained, "before you make your choice."

John Ohh's voice boomed from the bus again and I jumped in surprise.

"Just listen," Wiley instructed.

Turing our attention back to the bus window I tried to listen as best I could.

"All this because one text!" John exclaimed, "one fucking text and you have a free pass to cheat on her?"

"He said, he said her and Halvo were spending a lot of time together," Kennedy justified, "he said they were hanging out on the bus and stuff. It's like she didn't even miss me."

"Hanging out with Halvo? You're a joke Kennedy." John sounded disappointed, "I hang out with Halvo a lot too, does that mean I'm fucking him?"

"John that's different," Kennedy replied, "you're not my girlfriend."

"It shouldn't matter," John yelled, "your girlfriend can be friends with anyone she wants. That doesn't give you the right to cheat on her."

I looked over at the satisfied faced Wiley. My jaw fell to the floor. Not only was John Ohh sticking up for me, he was actually really pissed. But, this was all because of a text? One text saying that I was spending a lot of time with Eric? I mean, sure, we were spending a lot of time with each other, but that didn't mean I had feelings for him. Or did I?

"Ready to decide?" Wiley asked.

"What? Decide what?" I pleaded.

"Decide how you want your life to end up?" Wiley asked.

"I don't want to change my life," I exclaimed, "I love my life!"

"Are you sure about that?" Wiley asked, grabbing my hand.

Walking past the bus we stepped into a staircase I somewhat recognized.

"Go up," Wiley instructed, "and tell me if you're really happy?"

Running up the stairs I found a door and pushed it open. The wind whipped my hair into my face and my eyes started to tear.

"Wiley!" I called, "I don't understand."

"You don't remember?" Wiley's voice came from behind me and I whipped around.

"Remember what?" I demanded.

"It's the roof, Britta." Wiley grabbed my hand and led me to the edge of the roof. "Look."

Looking past Wiley I noticed a pair of people sitting on the edge about a hundred feet away. Marching towards them I slowly started recognizing their faces.

"Oh my god," I whispered under my breath.

"Kinda like looking in a mirror huh?" Wiley asked stepping up to my side.

"How is this happening?" I whispered, still afraid of calling the attention of the versions of myself and Kennedy sitting on the ledge.

"Just listen," Wiley sat down and patted for me to join him on the ground. I took the seat next to him and listened to my own voice.

"He's not coming back," I cried.

"Where could he have gone?" Kennedy replied, "he couldn't have gone far."

"Kennedy, it's been a week. He's not coming back," the Britta sobbed.

"We're leaving New York tomorrow, and then the tours over," Kennedy soothed, "Eric's probably waiting for you at home right now."

"He's not," Britta shouted back through her tears, "he's gone. He said I was dead to him. He said we were over."

"He didn't mean it," Kennedy shook his head.

"He did, he found out about the kiss." Britta shot back.

"Oh." Kennedy's face fell, "it was my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Britta grabbed Kennedy's hand, "It's not all your fault."

My throat closed as I remembered what was going to happen next. Britta leaned her head on Kennedy's shoulder and he slowly pulled her into another kiss. Right there, before me, I watched as I fell for him over again. Stupid girl.

"Wiley, I can't watch this anymore," I wiped my eyes and stood up. Brushing the gravel off my shorts I tapped Wiley's shoulder.

"Wiley let's go," I demanded.

"You haven't made your decision," Wiley replied.

"Yes I have! I want to go home, that's my decision." I exclaimed.

"Fine," Wiley stood and grabbed my hand. Leading me around the corner I faced two doors. The rooftop setting melted away and all that lay around me was white.

"I don't understand," I whispered.

"Watch," Wiley instructed.

Before the first door; Eric, Hawke, my album, and two wedding bands stood. Shifting my eyes to the next I watched as Kennedy appeared. No extras. Nothing. Just Kennedy.

"Eric!" I shouted, taking a step towards the first door.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Wiley grabbed my waist, "you're not ready yet!"

Tears began to fall as I watched the things before me fade away. First was my album, then the wedding bands, and next my son.

"Where are they going?" I whispered as my tear slid down my lips.

"They're gone," Wiley explained, "when you make your choice, they can't matter. Forget them."

Reaching for ring finger, the feel of flesh sent a wrath of anger down my body.

"They can't just be gone," I yelled.

"You have to make your decision now," Wiley let go of my waist.

Taking off towards door number one I screamed, "Eric! Eric! Eric!" Crashing into his chest I heard his familiar laugh and shook with excitement. But soon I realized the excitement wasn't what was shaking me; I was actually shaking. Backing away from Eric's arms I pried my eyes open.

"Britta! Britta!" Eric's concerned eyes were focused on mine, "it's just a dream. You're safe, it's okay."

I shot up quickly and frantically grabbed for the covers. I was home, in bed. With Eric and Hawke next to me. Thank God.

"I'm sorry," I finally whispered.

"Come here," Eric waved me into his arms, carefully not disturbing Hawke, who was cradled in his lap. Rubbing my shoulder, he kissed my forehead and sighed.

"Bad dream?" he asked.

"You have no idea," I replied, still shaken.

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**Hope you enjoyed :)**

reviews would be lovely.


	2. Breakfast at Tiffany's

**Chapter 2 :) Hope you like!!**

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Eric let out a small sigh and softly kissed my forehead.

"That's the third night in a row you've had dreams like this," he reminded me.

"I know, I'm sorry," I apologized and gently swooped Hawke up. "I'm gonna put him in his room and go make breakfast."

"We're meeting John for breakfast, remember?" Eric replied.

"You're right, I forgot. I'll be right back." I slipped out of bed and padded over to the door. Pushing it open, I crossed the hall to Hawke's room and lay him in his crib. He squirmed on top of his soft blue blanket but didn't awake.

"Oh Hawke, what's mommy gonna do?" I whispered before kissing his forehead. Softly shutting the door behind me I crept back to Eric and I's room and crawled back onto bed.

"What was this dream about?" Eric finally asked.

"It was weird," I replied, "it's like I was time traveling."

I explained Eric the dream, all that I could remember that was. As I recalled the strange events he shook his head and gently caressed my shoulder.

"And then, at the end, I was standing in front of two doors. You were in front of the first one and Kennedy in front of the second."

"You had to choose a door?" Eric asked, sounding almost intimidated.

"I had to make a straight decision," I confessed, "Hawke was gone, and we weren't married anymore. And, and my album. That was gone too. I had to make my decision based off one thing…"

"Love," Eric guessed.

"Love," I repeated.

"Do what door did you choose?" Eric asked, nervously sitting up in bed.

"You," I whispered.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Eric asked, his voice sounding hurt.

I shook my head. "No, no, I'm not surprised. I'm relieved. I mean, I love you, you know that. I'm just glad that now even my sub conscious knows that too."

"I'm glad too," Eric smiled, "come here."

Pulling me in, he planted a kiss on my lips. Nuzzling my head into his neck, I sighed and kissed his collar bone. I could feel his heart beat as I lay my hand on his chest. We had been together for a little over two years now and I still got butterflies just thinking about the fact that I got to wake up next to him every morning. After everything we went through and almost falling apart for good, I couldn't believe we turned out so normal. It's like nothing ever happened.

"You know what Kennedy said to me?" I whispered.

"What's that?" Eric asked leaning forward.

"Well, back when, you know…" I began.

"When you left me for Kennedy," Eric finished my sentence.

"Yeah then," I replied, "he said 'You keep saying 'Eric saved you', but he didn't. He plucked you out of lost and found. You were someone else's and he claimed you as his.' How ridiculous is that?"

"That is ridiculous," Eric shook his head, "You don't think that, do you?"

"God no!" I exclaimed, "I was not his property and you didn't claim me. I chose to fall in love with you."

"Can you really choose though?" Eric chuckled.

"I guess in some cases you can," I replied, "like Lacey and John."

Ugh, why had I brought up Lacey? Just hearing her name made my blood boil. That fucking slut.

"Never mind," I shook my head.

"Speaking of Lacey, have you talked to her?" Eric timidly asked.

"Good fucking joke," I cackled, "I'm never talking to her again."

What Lacey did was unforgiveable. Eric was insane if h thought I was going to ever speak to her again. She was supposed to be my best friend. She stood next to me at the fucking alter. She watched me nearly drive myself insane choosing between Eric and Kennedy. She's the one who convinced me I was still in love with Kennedy. She was the one who fucked up our friendship, not me.

"But don't you miss having a best friend?" Eric asked.

"I do have a best friend, Sam. And I have Jess. And Jen, she's right down the road. And Jess Bowen, and Kelsey. Kelsey married us for God sakes." I replied, "And I don't need any more best friends. They only end up stabbing you in the back."

"I get what you're saying, but I just think one day you're gonna miss Lacey," Eric suggested.

"I'm never going to miss that bitch," I lilted.

"Okay fine," Eric threw up his hands, "I give up."

"Oh really?" I grabbed his wrists and pushed him down on the bed. Kissing each freckle on his chest, one by one, I cooed, "So how much time do we have before breakfast?"

Eric looked over at the alarm clock and back up at me, "enough." Pulling me into a kiss, Eric wrapped his arms around my torso and tossed me down on my side of the bed.

"Well, Mrs. Halvorsen," Eric kissed down my neck, "I don't know if you know this, but I love you."

"I love you too," I growled and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Pecking my lips, Eric whispered something, but I missed what he said.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing," Eric replied, "never mind"

"Okay," I replied, chuckling. "Hey you, what's this mean?" I dropped my wrist to his face and plastered my "**Halvorsen**" cursive tattoo across my right wrist in his face.

"It means, you are my Wifey," he smiled.

"And you're my Lovey," I pulled him into another kiss. Just as Eric began to kiss down my midriff his phone rang across the room.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed.

Scrambling out of bed, Eric ran over to the dresser and retrieved his phone. "It's John," he announced.

"Hello," he answered.

Rolling my eyes I sat up and grabbed my phone. Trust me, I love John Gomez to death, but ever since "the bitch that is not spoken of" left, he's been so needy. I couldn't understand where he was coming from; Lacey fucked him over twice as much as she had me. John put himself on the line, he gave her his everything. He forgave her for getting married! He forgave her for leaving him for John Ohh. She pushed him away and he still stayed by her side. He didn't deserve what she had done, neither of us did.

"Alright, see you soon." Eric said before hanging up.

"What'd he want?" I asked as Eric crawled back into bed.

"Just normal John stuff, he's still not really back to himself. I feel bad, he's like permanently traumatized or something," Eric replied.

"Yeah, you think he'd run away or something," I teased.

Eric gave me a look and I smacked his arm. It wasn't my fault he ran away like a little baby last year when he found out Kennedy and I kissed. Okay, well maybe it was a little my fault, but still. He didn't call once, he was just gone. He was "_collecting his thoughts_" he said, _"We needed some time apart."_

Eric slumped out of bed and padded over to the bathroom. I watched he pushed the door open and slid out of his pajama pants.

"DAYUM!" I shouted from the bedroom.

"Don't be hatin," he laughed.

"Can I get yo numba?" I hopped out of bed and followed him into the bathroom. He started the shower and shook his hair.

"You and me forever huh?" I asked, looking up into his tired green eyes.

"Forever," he kissed my forehead and climbed in the shower.

I flipped on the iHome and ran out.

"You DID NOT just shuffle and run!" Eric called after me.

"Hell yes did!" I replied laughing, "enjoy your Miley Cyrus, Lovey."

***

We sat down at breakfast with John and I smiled at him across the table. He seemed happy, but he always had that ora of sadness around him. I felt bad. He really didn't have anyone anymore. After Stephen and Jess got married, they had their own lives to tend to. Lacey was gone. Brian and him never really had it right from the start and Josh was never around anymore unless they had practice. John was one of the sweetest guys I knew, he deserved to be happy, not living in the past forever.

The waiter took our order and collected our menus. Hawke sat in a highchair at the end of the table and played with a box of crayons the hostess had given him. Eric toggled with his phone as I picked at the placemat. No one was talking. It was almost too silent. I had to say something.

"So John," I began.

"Okay, I have to confess something," he breathed.

"Confess?" Eric wrinkled his brow.

"It's Lacey," John admitted.

"John don't," I warned, "don't get yourself mixed up in her again."

"Listen," John's hands were shaking, "Jess called me. She said Lacey hasn't been showing up for work in almost three weeks. She's worried."

"Work? I thought she just did small jobs for Jess," I butted in.

"No," John shook his head, "after everything happened and we broke up Lacey got a full time job at the agency. She's a model now."

"No way," I shook my head in disbelief, "Not after everything that happened with Carolyn and Gwen, there's no way Lacey would even consider being a model."

"That's the thing," John urged, "this isn't the Lacey we used to know. She's gone. Something happened, she's just…she's destroyed."

"Look John, whatever 'destroyed' her, she brought on herself," I argued, "You and I both know that."

"Oh really, cause I think finding out your sister you thought was dead for 6 years was actually alive, and the sister you thought was alive was really dead, isn't really brought on by yourself."

"The Carolyn-Gwen thing was traumatic, but that wouldn't send Lacey off the edge," I replied, "whatever she's going through, is her fault."

"Just because you hate her, doesn't mean you shouldn't care," John shot back.

"I do hate her John, and I don't understand why you don't!" I exclaimed.

"Because I can't hate her," he lilted, "I'll always love her."

"After what she did, she doesn't deserve your love John." I slid out of the booth, "Lacey is a back stabbing whore. You can fall into her little trap if you want, but I'm not. This is all her fault, this breakdown, whatever, she brought it on herself."

"Like she brought on that fact that her ex-boyfriend, the guy she left me for, turned out to be the father of her niece, right? That was her fault, right?"

I spun around on my heels, "It might not have been her fault, but she didn't have to react the way she did. She fucked up John. She screwed me over, and you. She hurt you. And you know what? She hurt you for nothing."

"What do you mean?" John asked confused.

"The night it happened, John, the night before she found out John was Madison's father, she told me she was leaving you for him."

"You're lying!" John shouted.

"You wish I was lying," I replied coldly.

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**Thanks for reading!!! :)**

reviews would be lovely.


	3. Wedding Crashers?

**Here's chapter 3 :) Hope you like!! :D**

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"What was that about?" Eric asked as we piled in the car.

"You know what that was about," I replied.

"Look, I get that you hate Lacey, but John didn't do anything to you." Eric put the car in reverse and backed out of the spot. I slumped my head on my hand and rested my forehead on the window.

I didn't mean to ruin breakfast I just didn't want to talk about Lacey. John knew I didn't. Eric knew I didn't. Bullshit. What did I care if she was having some breakdown 1,000 miles away? She was in New York; she chose not to come back to Arizona. She fucked up. This was not my problem. But I shouldn't have blown up on John. He was obviously worried about her and I could understand where he was coming from. Lacey was his first love and he never really let go. Even after everything that happened, he still loved her with all his heart. If he wanted to go save her, he should, but don't drag me into it.

"I'll call and apologize later," I finally replied, "John knows I'm not mad at him, he knows he didn't do anything."

"Of course he does," Eric smiled, "so where we going now? Jen and Pat's?"

"I guess so," I shrugged.

Jen and Pat moved in together a while back after she moved all her stuff from New York. It was nice having my best friend so close. Her and Pat opened their own restaurant after the band fell apart. Jen's an amazing chef and Pat brings in the customers. I mean who wouldn't want to eat at the restaurant owned by a former member of a band that made it all the way to the top and crashed when their lead singer left the band to go be a father in New York?

We pulled in Pat and Jen's drive way and hopped out of the car. Eric plucked Hawke out of the back seat and we climbed the steps. I knocked on the door and waited for a response. Finally it swung open and Jen stood before me wearing a smile and a blue sun dress.

"Hey guys," she waved us in, "didn't know you were coming over."

"It was kind of a last minute decision," I replied, "we were bored and figured we could bother you."

Jen laughed and led up to the stairs, "Pat and Garrett are in the den playing Call of Duty. Rachael's in the kitchen. We're planning recipes for next week's "Meal of The Week." Wanna help?"

Eric looked at me questionably.

"Uh, sure Jen. But first can I use your computer?" I asked.

"Uhm, sure." Jen pointed towards a door down the hall, "you know where the office is, go right ahead."

Jen paced to the kitchen and Eric started for the stairs, "I'm taking Hawke down with the guys," he called over his shoulder.

"Wait a second," I lightly grabbed his waist. He spun around and sighed, "uhm hm?"

"I love you," I whispered before pulling him into a kiss.

"I love you too," he replied before descending the stairs.

I stepped in the office and sat down in the computer chair. I pressed the screen and it hummed to life. The main screen flashed in my face and I clicked "Pat and Jen." It didn't ask for a password so I was let right in. Before I even clicked anything "Me chat" popped up. My login was already in the list of potentials, so for the heck of it, I logged in. The internet automatically popped up and I went to Google. I typed in "Recurring Dreams" and hit enter. 424,000 results. Great.

A small box in the right corner of the screen popped up and I sadly read the words. "KennyLove has now logged on." Of course Kennedy would be on. I had to change his nick name. It had been "KennyLove" since we started dating. I changed his name to "Kennedy" and returned to Google.

Finding nothing helpful I clicked back and typed in a new search, "Analyzing Dreams." A few pages popped up, but one caught my attention. "Gloria Daniels, Dream Specialist" I clicked her page and was surprised to find out her office was in Phoenix. The homepage was cluttered with links and hypnosis information. A swirling black and white circle sat in the center of the page and I stared at it for a few minutes. It pulled me in with every spin. I started feeling woozy but I snapped out of it.

Reading further I found a paragraph on dream analysis and Gloria's use of hypnosis. It seemed interesting and maybe it could help me stop having night terrors. Scribbling down her number I prepared to log off when a chat box popped up in front of me. "Kennedy would like to video chat" it read. I rolled my eyes and hit accept. What was the worst that could happen? There was always the handy "X" button when I got fed up.

"Hello?" I said to the blank screen.

"I think it's working," I heard Kennedy's voice slur off screen.

"Do you really need to turn that on?" I heard Lacey whine.

"Lacey?" I angrily questioned.

Soon a background flashed upon the screen. It was a bedroom. It looked like one of my guest rooms in New Jersey. As a matter of fact it WAS my guest room. A picture of Sam and I was on the night stand.

"Kennedy!" I barked into the microphone located on the side of the screen, "what the fuck is going on?"

"Come here sexy," Lacey cooed. She came on screen pulling Kennedy along with her by his tie. She was wearing a peach colored silk dress. I recognized it the moment I saw it. Her bridesmaid dress. And Kennedy, he was wearing black dress pants and a white shirt with a peach tie. There was no way this was happening. Lacey was in New York and Kennedy was in Arizona. My eyes must have been playing tricks on me.

"Kiss me," Lacey whispered, sloppily pulling Kennedy in. They were obviously both drunk. Kennedy staggered over to the bed and tossed Lacey down. She sat up and giggled. Pulling her dress down, she reviled her tan strapless bra. Kennedy ripped off his tie and tossed it on the ground. He lay on top of her and kissed down her torso.

"No, stop!" I cried at the screen, "Stop, please!"

I felt the tears start to burn and fall down my cheeks. Kennedy continued to undress Lacey and soon undressed himself.

"Stop!" I cried again. I pushed my hands in front of the screen, "I can't watch this! Stop!"

Looking up I watched as the image of Kennedy and Lacey burned through my hands. It played like an overhead projector.

"Stop Kennedy! Stop!" I screamed. My throat began to strain. The tears fell harder.

"I can't see this! Stop! Make it stop, please! Just go away! I hate you! I hate you both!"

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up into Wiley's brown eyes.

"Have you made your decision?" he hauntingly asked.

"Just go away!" I screamed, "Just stop, please!" I heard Lacey giggling in the background. The image of her and Kennedy was burned on my retina. I closed my eyes but they were still there, drunkenly peeling each other's clothes off with their teeth.

"Stop!" I screamed again, "I give up! I can't take it anymore!"

"Britta!" I heard a voice call. Soon my shoulders shook uncontrollably. I punched my eyes open and looked up at a concerned group of familiar faces. Jen stood to my right, Rachael behind her. Eric was on my left grasping my hand.

"What happened?" I asked wiping my eyes.

"You were screaming!" Jen exclaimed, "Did you fall asleep? Did you have a bad dream?"

"I don't remember falling asleep," I admitted, "but I was staring at this thing…"

I pointed at the screen, the swirling circle sat before my eyes. "It must've, must've put me in a trance or something."

Eric grabbed the mouse and scrolled the screen, "Dreams and hypnosis?" he read the headline.

"This Gloria lady, I think she can help me," I exclaimed, "I can't keep having these dreams."

"You don't need help," Eric shook his head, "You just need to relax."

"Ugh," I groaned, "I'm so tired of people telling me to relax. I needed to relax when I was pregnant. I needed to relax when I was on tour. I needed to relax when I lost my best friend… Forget it."

"Look," Eric closed the screen, "if you think you need to see someone, then I'll support you. But I think you can get past this yourself. Maybe it's just because you haven't been getting enough sleep."

"Maybe it's because her and Kennedy's three year anniversary would have been this weekend," Rachael added.

"What day is it?" I asked.

"September 21st," Eric sighed, "but I'm sure that has nothing to do with it."

"I bet it does," Rachael replied, very matter-of-factly.

"No it doesn't" Eric defensively shot back.

"Guys stop," I shouted, "where's my son?"

"He's with Garrett downstairs," Jen answered.

I backed away from the computer and took off for the stairs. As I reached the den I spotted Hawke on the couch next to Garrett. I swooped him up and Garrett paused the game.

"You alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine." I held Hawke in my arms and kissed his head. He was all that mattered. Not the scary dreams. Not Kennedy. Not Lacey. Nothing mattered more than my son.

Eric bounded down the stairs after me and approached my side.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I replied, "I just, I need some time with my son. I'll be fine."

Eric shook his head and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. It was Gloria's number.

"Look, I'm going to schedule you an appointment with her," he explained.

"Why? I thought you said I don't need help," I replied.

"You don't. And I don't believe in this crap either. But obviously it's important to you, so I'll talk to her," he explained.

"Thank you," I leaned my head into his chest.

"I just want you back," Eric began, "I don't want to have to see you like this."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be sorry," Eric whispered into my hair.

"I love you"

"I love you too."

"Fuck yes, level twelve!"

Thanks Gar, way to ruin the moment.

* * *

**thanks for reading. :)**

reviews would be lovely.


	4. Just Wake Up!

**Ready to get hypnotized? haha jk, hope you enjoy :) :)**

* * *

I stepped inside the small office building and was greeted by an empty waiting room.

"Hello," I called to the nothingness.

"Brittany?" A petite blond came around the corner holding a clipboard. She looked up at me from above her sleek black rimmed glasses."

"It's Britta," I corrected her, "Brittany's my name, but I go by…"

"Britta it is," she waved in, "Gloria is waiting for you."

I followed the blond down the hallway and into an office. This definitely wasn't what I was expecting. I mean, when you hear, hypnosis, you don't exactly picture a pristine office with leather furniture in the middle of Phoenix.

A tall brunette stood up from behind a desk, "Hello Britta," she smiled, "we spoke on the phone earlier right?"

"Yes," I shook my head, "I looked up your website and I think you can help me."

"Well I sure hope I can," she motioned for me to sit. After dismissing the blonde assistant, Gloria shut the door and took a seat across from me.

"So, I hear you're having some pretty bad dreams," she began.

"They're just, they feel real, but then end up twisted and weird. I wake up screaming," I explained, "my husband's starting to complain."

Gloria laughed and sat back in her chair, "Well Britta, what's happening in these dreams? Any recurrences? Any people are phrases you notice every time?"

Kennedy.

"Uhm, not really," I lied.

Gloria wrinkled her brow, "So the dreams aren't connected at all? There's nothing that ties them all together?"

Kennedy.

"I don't think so," I replied.

"Okay," Gloria shook her head, "tell me about a dream you've had. Any one that you remember."

"Well in one dream I was at my own wedding," I began to explain the first dream I had woken up screaming from, "I was walking down the aisle and when I reached the end my husband wasn't there."

"Who was?" Gloria asked.

Kennedy.

"An ex," I replied.

"See, no we're getting somewhere. You saw your ex at the altar instead of your husband. Why do you think this happened?'

I don't know, maybe because I still love him.

"I don't know," I darted my eyes to the floor.

"Did you and this ex have closure?" Gloria asked.

"Not really," I answered, "We broke up the first time two years ago, but last year we tried again. It was a mistake, it didn't end well."

"Do you think that's the cause of the dreams?" Gloria asked.

"That's why I came here," I replied, "I want to find out why I'm having these dreams."

"I understand," Gloria slid out of her chair, "alright, I'm going to perform our first exercise."

Closing the blinds and turning the lights down, Gloria lit a vanilla candle in the middle of the table and tossed her jacket by her desk.

"The only thing you have to do is relax," she instructed me.

I inhaled the beautiful scent of the candle and reclined into the comfy chair. Gloria put one some music and I felt her soon at my side.

"Okay Britta, close your eyes." I did what she said. "Now all I want is for you to focus on my voice. Relax. Just breathe."

Bringing my legs up and crossed them in the seat and dropped my hands in the center. The only thing I could hear was Gloria's voice.

"Now I'm going to count backwards from 10…" Gloria began to explain, "When I reach the number 5 you're going to be so tired you'll barely be able to hear my voice. But you won't be gone yet, hold on. When I reach 1…you are going to bring yourself to the source of these dreams."

Gloria tapped my right shoulder once, "10…"

She tapped my left, "9…"

Back to my right, "8…"

"7…6…5…"

I felt my heart beat drop and my head started to feel heavy. I didn't know how she expected me to stay awake until 1…

"4…3…2…1"

"Babe!" I heard a voice call to me. My eyes flew open and I frantically looked around. I was surrounded by white chairs and tables. Rose centerpieces marked each individual table. The scent of the ocean filled my nose. I looked down at my beautiful off-white dress. My little belly bump stuck out. I knew exactly where I was. I knew exactly what day it was. June 19th. Eric and I's Second Wedding Celebration.

"Babe, if you don't hurry up, we're gonna miss the plane!" Eric exclaimed from the front of the hall.

"I'm sorry," I jumped up, soon my legs went numb and I fell back into the chair.

"Whoa," Eric came running over, "you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," I replied shaken, "just still…excited…about our wedding."

"You're too cute," Eric kissed my forehead; "you're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen."

"Even the second time around?" I giggled.

"Even the second time," Eric pulled me into a kiss.

I heard a door close behind me and Eric and I both looked. Lacey stepped in looking distraught.

"I'm gonna go make sure the driver knows how to get to the airport," Eric awkwardly excused himself.

"Bye Lovey," I called after him.

Lacey joined me at the table, make-up was running down her face and her lips looked gnawed at. Something was wrong but I couldn't figure it out.

"I need to tell you something," Lacey whispered.

"Okay," I replied, "is everything okay."

"No," she began to cry, "It's not okay."

"Lacey what happened?" I asked. I placed a hand on her knee. Her whole body was shaking.

"You're gonna hate me," she whispered through her fallen tears.

"I'm sure I'm not going to hate you Lacey, you're my best friend, you know that," I soothed.

"I'm not your best friend," Lacey shook her head, "not after what I did."

"Lacey, you are my best friend!" I exclaimed, "now what did you do?"

I watched as Lacey fought a war with herself. She was falling apart as she tried to answer. My worry began to grow. Lacey finally pushed the hair out of her face and sighed. Her green eyes fell upon mine and her lips quivered.

"Lacey, please tell me what's wrong," I whispered.

"I, I…" she began.

"You what?" I begged.

"I slept with Kennedy." Her body shook with sobs as her head fell into her hands.

I was stunned. This had to be a joke. There was no way she could have slept with him. It didn't happen. No. No. Fuck. No.

I stood up, still speechless. Lacey stood before me and tried to apologize. My fists clenched and my teeth ground together.

"I'm so sorry," she cried.

Before I knew it my hand slammed across her face. She caressed her cheek and looked back at me stunned. Pushing past her I grabbed my hand bag off the table and followed the way Eric had gone outside.

I stepped into a dark hallway and patted the walls for a door. Nothing. "Eric!" I called. All I heard was my own voice echoing back to me. "Eric!" I screamed again.

"Britta!" I voice called to me.

"Hello!" I replied, "I don't know where I am. Can you help me?"

"I can't help you Britta, not until you wake up!" the voice replied.

"What!" I screamed, "I am awake, help me please! I'm going to be late to my own honeymoon."

"No you're not!" the voice replied, softer this time, "Just wake up!"

I blinked a few times and woke up back in Gloria's office. She stood before me smiling, "have a nice trip?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah," I shook the sleepiness away and sat up in the chair.

"So where did you go?" Gloria asked.

"My wedding reception," I replied, still confused myself.

"And what happened at this reception?"

"My best friend," I began, "my best friend, she told me she slept with my ex."

"Why do you think you went back to this moment?" Gloria handed me a glass of water.

I hadn't realized how dry my throat was until I started drinking.

"I guess because it was like a turning point in my life," I replied, "I mean I lost my best friend. And I never forgave Kennedy for it."

"Kennedy Brock?" Gloria asked.

"Yeah," I replied embarrassed; I didn't want to bring up his name.

"It's okay," Gloria shook her head, "everything said in here is 100% confidential."

"Okay," I sighed, "I just think, that maybe since Kennedy stopped talking, I lost an important part of me. Maybe these dreams are telling me I made the wrong decision."

"Now what decision would that be?" Gloria asked, "The decision of choosing Eric over Kennedy, or deciding not to speck to Kennedy anymore?"

Wait, did she just say Eric? I never mentioned Eric.

"I don't know," I replied, a little suspicious. "Maybe the dreams have nothing to do with Kennedy, maybe it's Lacey."

"You and Lacey were close," Gloria agreed with me, "losing her so dramatically could be causing these dreams."

"But that was over year ago," I replied, "why would it be affecting me now?"

"Maybe you put it away for so long, in your mind, that is. You had other things to tend to. Your baby, your husband, your album…"

"My Baby?" I shot up, "I never talked about my son…"

"Britta," Gloria chuckled, "did you forget you're famous? All you have to do is type your name into Google and your full Bio comes up."

"Right," I relaxed in my seat. Whatever. Gloria was a creep. I don't care, maybe she could help me.

"I think you need to settle things," Gloria suggested, "with Lacey, or Kennedy, or both. I think these dreams are your subconscious feelings of guilt."

"Guilt? I have nothing to feel guilty about," I replied.

"Of course you do. You feel like The Maine breaking up was your fault. You blame yourself for Lacey's meltdown. And you even blame yourself for not being able to unbreak John Gomez's heart."

That was the final straw. I shot up of the chair and stomped towards the door.

"Look lady, I don't know who you think you are. But you don't know me. You don't know the first thing about me," I pulled the door open and waited for Gloria to respond.

"I might not know everything," she began, "but I do know that you need to settle things with Lacey."

I slammed the door behind me and marched down the hallway. Fuck this. I reached the empty waiting room and pushed through the doors. A flash of auburn hair caught my attention and I darted my eyes to the side of the building. Nothing.

Whatever was doing this to me, this guilt, it had to stop. I had no other choice. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called John.

"Hey," I said once he answered, "I'm willing to help you help Lacey. What do I have to do?"

* * *

**thanks for reading. :)**

reviews would be lovely.


	5. Mrs Brock?

**Prepare to be mind fuckeddd. enjoy :)**

* * *

"Thank you for choosing America's Airway and enjoy your flight." The flight attendant's voice echoed throughout out the whole plane. I couldn't believe John had talked me into this.

We were now on a flight to New York to check up on Lacey. Why? Because Gloria had convinced me that the only way to stop these dreams, was to forgive Lacey.

I sat in the back row next to Eric and watched as he played Words With Friends on his iPhone. Hawke sat on my lap and was slowly beginning to fall asleep. I kissed the top on his head and started gently bouncing my knee.

John sat in the row directly across from us and made his 49th attempt at calling Lacey. She wasn't answering and my guess was that she was never going to.

I relaxed in the car and looked at the flyers around me. A couple sat in the row in front of John and looked at what seemed to be wedding pictures. I looked down at my ring finger and smiled. I twirled my band a few times with my thumb.

"What are you thinking about?" Eric asked, breaking me from my thoughts. Have you ever noticed that when someone asks you "what are you thinking about" you stop thinking about anything?

"How much I love you," I replied.

Eric kissed my forehead and closed the game on his phone, "I love you too," he began, "but that's not what you're thinking about."

Sighing, I looked into Eric's concerned eyes and gave up. "I was thinking about our wedding."

"Which one?" Eric asked chuckling.

"The second one," I replied.

"What about it?" Eric shifted in his seat and grabbed his coffee. He took a long sip before I answered.

"Just thinking." Hawke's tiny fist wrapped around my pointer finger. "She stood right next to me," I whispered, "she stood right next to me at the altar, after what she did."

"Lacey," Eric wrinkled his brow, "Britt you have to let it go. The whole reason we're going to New York is so you can forgive her."

"But I don't know if I can," I replied, "what she did, it's just…"

"She slept with Kennedy," Eric exclaimed.

The couple in the row turned and me a look. I could feel my cheeks reddening.

"It's not like she slept with me!" Eric continued, ignoring the stares.

"I know that," I replied, trying to quiet Eric down.

"Then what's the big deal?" Eric demanded.

"The big deal is!" I exclaimed. I froze. I didn't want to say the wrong thing. "The big deal is she slept with Kennedy the night of our rehearsal dinner. She got him drunk and took advantage of him."

"So what?" Eric justified, "they were two SINGLE people; they can sleep with whoever they want."

"No they can't!" I argued.

"You do not control who Lacey can and cannot have sex with!" Eric shot back.

"I might not be able to control Lacey, but I sure as hell can control who Kennedy has sex with!"

Oh shit.

"Excuse me," Eric leaned forward, "you can control who Kennedy has sex with? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," I shook my head.

"No, please. Explain how you can control Kennedy's sex life," Eric antagonized me.

"Forget it," I looked over at John. His phone was still plastered to his ear. Whatever Lacey was doing, or had to done that got me on this plane better have been worth. John should just let it go; Lacey was going to leave him anyway. She was undeniably in love with John Ohh. Where had I seen this all before? Oh yeah, my life, and right now John Gomez was Lacey's Kennedy.

"You know what? I'm tired of this; it's been a year! Lacey slept with Kennedy, so what? You and I are married; we have a son, that's all that matters. Kennedy could be having sex with someone right now!"

"He's not!" I shot back.

"And what if he is?" Eric exclaimed.

"Eric! Can we not go one day without fighting?" I cried.

"Can you go one day without thinking about Kennedy?"

I handed Hawke to Eric and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Eric asked.

"I need to be alone," I replied before starting towards the bathrooms.

Shutting the door behind me I stepped up to the tiny sink and took in a few deep breaths. Running the cool water on my hands, I slashed some on my face.

"Still think you made the right decision?" A voice asked from behind me.

I shot up and spun around. Wiley stood in front of the door twirling something around his finger.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed, clutching my chest.

"I do not kid," Wiley smiled.

I looked down at my hands and noticed my empty ring finger. I spun around and checked the sink. Fuck.

"Looking for this?" I turned and watched as Wiley tossed my wedding band from one hand to the other.

"Give that back!" I grabbed for it, "and leave me alone!"

"I can't do that," Wiley pulled the ring back.

"I did everything I was supposed to do!" I cried, "I'm going to fucking New York to forgive Lacey! You have to go away!"

"It's not that simple," Wiley teased, "you think going to New York and handing over some mediocre forgiveness is going to end this?"

"Yes I do!" I exclaimed, "now give me back my ring!"

"What ring?" Wiley opened both palms. My ring was gone.

"Ugh," I punched the counter, "what do I have to do?"

"You don't have to do anything," Wiley shrugged, "I want to show you something."

"What?" I barked.

"All you have to do is open your eyes," Wiley instructed.

"My eyes are fucking open!"

"Not yet," Wiley slid the door open behind him, "go."

"Fine," I pushed past him, "I'll play along with your little game."

I stepped out of the bathroom and faced the rows of the plane.

"I don't see anything!" I called behind me. "Wiley?" He was gone. Whatever. I marched back to my row and plopped back down in my seat. Wait. Had I gone the wrong way? How had I ended up in first class?

"Look I'm sor…" I turned to apologize to Eric, but Eric was not who I was sitting next to. "Kennedy?"

"Yes darling?" he smiled, "what are you sor…for?"

"How, how is this happening?"

"How is what happening?" Kennedy asked confused.

"Where am I?" I demanded.

"Did you hit your head?" Kennedy caressed my forehead, "when's your birthday?"

"July fucking 3rd Kennedy," I replied, "you know my fucking birthday."

"I know I do," Kennedy defensively replied, "I'm just making sure you do!"

"What's going on?" I whispered, a lump forming in my throat.

"We're on a plane," Kennedy replied.

"Obviously! Where are we going?" I asked.

"Paris, Britta! You know we're going to Paris! Okay, something's wrong." Kennedy waved the flight attendant over. "Can she have a glass of water?"

"No problem," she smiled and bustled away.

"Why are we going to Paris?" I begged.

"Britta, The Maine is touring Europe this summer. We're going to Paris for our first show. Is this all starting to make sense?"

"The Maine!" I exclaimed, "When did The Maine get back together?"

"We never broke up!" Kennedy replied, "where are you getting this from?"

"No, nothing," I shook my head. What the fuck was going on?

"Dude, is she okay?" Garrett asked from across the row.

"Garrett?" I exclaimed. "Where's John?"

"I'm right here!" John stood up from the seat in front of mine.

"No, I mean John Gomez!" I shouted.

"John Gomez?" Kennedy wrinkled his brow, "he's home, in Arizona."

"Wh..why? We were going to New York, to find Lacey!"

"To find me?" Lacey stood from the seat next to John, "I'm right here babe!"

"Lacey!" I shot up! "You're okay!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she chuckled, "whatever you took, can I have some?"

"I didn't take anything," I whispered, "this can't be happening!"

"Babe, sit down. Just calm down and we'll figure this all out, okay?" Kennedy rubbed my waste.

I sat back down and pulled in a sharp breath. This couldn't be happening. This had to be a joke. Eric was hiding somewhere. That was it. He was going to pop out of nowhere. With Ashton Kutcher. Yupp that solves it. I was being Punked. Haha, good joke guys, you got me!

"So where are we really going?" I turned and faced Kennedy.

"Paris," he replied confused, "we're going to Paris for the show tonight."

"Where's Hawke?" I blurted.

"Who's Hawke?" Kennedy asked grabbing my hand.

"My son, Kennedy! Hawke Christopher Halvorsen!" I exclaimed.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Garrett laughed, "Halvorsen? As in Eric? Good joke!"

"What?" I flew out of my seat, "what happened to Eric?"

"Nothing happened to me," Eric stood up a few rows ahead of me, "I'm right here."

"Eric!" I exclaimed and ran into his arms, "please tell me this is a joke!"

"This is a joke…" Eric awkwardly hugged me back, "Britta, why are you hugging me?"

"Because you're my husband!" I urged.

"No, I'm not!" Eric laughed.

"Britta," Kennedy's voice soothed behind me, "Eric's not your husband; I am."

* * *

**Thanks for reading :)**

reviews would be lovely!


	6. When in Paris

**Sorry it took so long to update, school's got me busy! Hope you enjoy!! :)**

* * *

"What did you just say?" I exclaimed turning and facing Kennedy.

"I said; I'm your husband. Britta, we've been married since last October," Kennedy replied.

I looked down at my ring finger. My white gold band was gone, but in its place was a beautiful gold band paired with a matching diamond engagement ring.

"We're married?" I whispered.

"Yes," Kennedy shook his head, "okay, something's really wrong. When we land I'm taking you to the doctors. Are you sure you didn't hit your head?"

"Lacey!" I exclaimed, pushing past Kennedy, "Lacey, who are you dating?"

John snorted in his seat. I shot him a look and focused back on Lacey.

"John and I are engaged Britta, you know that," she replied.

"Which John?" I specified.

"This John," John pointed at himself, "I like this game. Now ask another question."

"Shut up," I snapped at John. "Lacey, what happened to John Gomez?"

"We broke up over a year ago," Lacey replied, confused. "You were with me when it happened."

"Oh my god," I whispered as I backed away.

Kennedy came up behind me and grabbed my waist. I flinched but soon relaxed into his arms. I didn't want to freak anyone else out. They already thought I was crazy.

"I'm sorry," I whispered once Kennedy and I returned to our seats.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" Kennedy asked, rubbing my thigh.

"It's just a dream," I whispered to myself.

"What's that?" Kennedy asked, leaning in.

"I said, I had a bad dream," I replied, "on the plane, it felt really real. That's why I was so confused when I woke up."

"Did you fall asleep in the bathroom?" Kennedy asked chuckling.

"No, I uh, I woke up and went to the bathroom," I replied, hoping that whatever Kennedy _thought_ I was doing before going to the bathroom was sleeping.

"Oh, okay…" Kennedy shook his head, "as long as you're alright."

"I'm fine," I replied.

"I love you, Kid."

The words sent an icy pain down my spine. "What did you just say?" I began to hyperventilate.

"I said, I love you, Kid," Kennedy replied. "I always say that."

"Oh right," I attempted to regulate my breathing. "I love you too."

It felt good to say it. There was no reason I couldn't. In this weird universe Kennedy was my husband, not Eric, I could tell him I loved him if I wanted to. But the thing was; did I mean it?

"Come here," Kennedy softly nudged my chin. He pulled me in and placed a kiss on my lips. If I pushed away he would know something was wrong, but if I kissed back I'd fall for him all over again. I knew I would. But wait, I could fall for him, we were married.

"I love you," I whispered as we pulled apart. Wait? Did I just say that? Read that again. Oh Yupp, I said it. Holy fuck. I think I'm running on auto pilot.

"Look out the window's everyone," a voice instructed us from overhead, "welcome to Paris."

"We're here," Kennedy wrapped his arm around me.

"So wait," I began, still gazing out the window. "Who's on this tour? I, I forgot."

"Us; The Maine. Rocket, This Century, and Element's of Surprise." Kennedy listed the bands, but one was missing.

"What about The Summer Set?" I asked.

"What?" Kennedy gave me and inquisitive look, "Babe, The Summer Set isn't a band anymore. They broke up last year."

"Right around the time Lacey and John broke up?" I asked, already knowing my answer.

"Just days apart," Kennedy reassured me my answer.

Great, The Summer Set was gone. My son was gone. Lacey was with the wrong John, or the right one? And I was married to Kennedy. What else was this world going to give me? What was I? The lead singer of Element's of Surprise too?

***

"Home sweet home!" Kennedy exclaimed as he threw open the door to our hotel room in Paris.

"Oh my god," I whispered, in astonishment of the room. The drapes and bed set were a deep cranberry with gold accents. The creamy smooth carpet swirled with reds and gold's leading a path onto the deck. A bathroom sat at the opposite end of the room, leaving a vanity and two dressers in between. It was like nothing I'd seen before.

Kennedy dropped his bag off on the bed and threw open the blinds. A beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower stood before us. I'd never been that close to it before. No painting or picture could compensate the beauty of beholding the actual Eiffel Tower in the middle of Paris.

Stepping over to the window, Kennedy wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. A tingle sent down my body and I fought the urge to pull away. If I kept acting like I had no idea what was going on, Kennedy was going to put me in a nut house. I had to pretend like I was fully aware of how I ended up married Kennedy and in a hotel room in Paris.

Kennedy continued to kiss down my neck and a short moan escaped my throat. He slid his hand down my body and soon wiggled his way into my pant pocket. I reached up and caressed his cheek before turning and kissing his back. Slowly we inched closer to the bed, until his knees buckled the edge. He felt for the edge of my shirt and I froze. This was bad. I couldn't fall under his spell. I couldn't let him take me. Not after everything we went through.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I blurted before turning and running out of the room. Closing the door behind me, I caught my breath and gave the beautiful gold and white bathroom a once over.

"Wiley!" I whisper-yelled, "Wiley, I know you can hear me, you're fucking everywhere!"

Suddenly a voice hummed behind me and I turned to face the shower. Wiley sat on the edge twiddling one of the draw strings on his sweatshirt.

"What do ya need?" he asked, casually swinging his leg over the other side of the tub.

"Kennedy wants to have sex…with me!" I exclaimed, "I can't do that!"

"Why not?" Wiley shrugged, "you're married, you can have sex anytime you want. And dude, you're in Paris, that's romantic as fuck."

"Wiley! I cannot have sex with Kennedy!" I replied; frustrated at the fact that he could ever think I would do that.

"Yes, you can!" Wiley chuckled, "you have plenty of times before."

"No I haven't!" I exclaimed, "the only person I've ever had sex with is Eric."

"Not in this world," Wiley explained, "you've never slept with Eric. The only person you've ever slept with is Kennedy."

"What the fuck," I whispered.

"Have you seen yourself?" Wiley asked standing up from the tub.

"Oh thanks," I rolled my eyes.

"No, come here," Wiley waved me over to the mirror. "Lift up your shirt."

"Perv!" I slapped his arm.

"Idiot," Wiley rolled his eyes, "I mean just the bottom part, look."

I slowly lifted up my shirt and noticed nothing new. My "La Vie Est Belle" tattoo sat at my waist line still, and my belly button remained unpierced.

"Okay, now pull down your shirt," Wiley instructed, "and before you hit me again, I only mean the collar."

"Okay…?" I stretched my collar and stared into the mirror. My jaw dropped as I read the letters tattooed onto my neck line. "K E N N E D Y" swooped around the curve between my throat and my chest.

"He branded me," I whispered in shock.

"Oh no," Wiley shook his head, "this wasn't Kennedy's idea."

"I did this to myself," I gasped.

"It was a surprise for Kennedy's birthday," Wiley replied.

I looked down at my empty right wrist and began to choke up. "I got 'Halvorsen' tattooed right here for Eric's birthday," I explained pointing the spot out to Wiley.

"And why'd you get that?" Wiley asked.

"The 'Halvorsen' one? Because it's my last name now too…"

"No it's not," Wiley sing-songed, "that would be Brock."

"Okay, I get it," I replied frustrated, "but I got it because I love Eric and I knew it'd make him happy."

"Just like how you got Kennedy's name tattooed on you because you love him and it made him happy," Wiley smirked, "are you catching on here?"

"I'm madly in love with Kennedy," I whispered.

"There you go!" Wiley chucked, "now, go give your man some sugar."

I looked up into the mirror once more and examined the tattoo. I couldn't believe in this world I had gotten Kennedy's name permanently written on my body. This Britta, the girl I was here, was truly in love with him. Maybe that's what I was supposed to learn from all this. Maybe I was supposed to love Kennedy. Maybe this was how my life was supposed to be. Maybe I'd been living the wrong life this whole time.

Stepping towards the door, I sighed and gathered my thoughts. If I was going to live in this world from now on, I might as well embrace it. But I needed to know one thing.

"Wiley?" I asked turning around.

"Yes darling?" he replied, rubbing some French silk lotion over his hands.

"In this world, did July 12th happen?"

"Well what do you mean?" Wiley asked.

"I mean, did Kennedy still cheat on me? Did I still go to Walmart with Eric? Did I still kiss him in the hotel room?"

"Britta," Wiley sighed, "If I answer all those questions, will it change how you feel about where you are?"

"I guess not," I shrugged, "since this Britta obviously choose Kennedy anyway."

"I'll make you a deal," Wiley smiled, "you go along with this world, you listen and watch, and learn from it; and I'll answer all your questions."

"Deal," I shook my head. I slipped out of the bathroom and locked eyes with Kennedy.

"Everything alright?" he asked, standing up from the edge of the bed.

"Everything's perfect," I sighed and nuzzled my head into his chest. It felt good to be back in his arms. I missed the way he held me. He kissed the top of my head and exhaled sharply through his nose.

"I love you, you know that?" he whispered into my hair.

"I love you too," I replied. Just the feeling of saying the words made my heart skip a beat. After everything that had happened, I found myself in the middle of a hotel room in Paris, falling back in love with Kennedy. This may not have been the sanest way to realize my life decisions, but it was fun while it lasted.

Kennedy slowly tip-toed back to the bed and I fell into his arms. Not but three minutes later I lay before him exposed.

"Why do you look so nervous?" Kennedy laughed before he planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"I'm not nervous," I replied, my voice shaking.

"Right," Kennedy chuckled and began kissing down my neck. _Relax, Britta._ I scorned myself. _He thinks you've done this hundreds of times before._ _Just relax._

***

_HOLY FUCKING JESUS ON A CRAKER!_ My head screamed as I rolled over onto the far right side of the bed. Kennedy lay beside me catching his breath and licking his lips.

"Where, where did you learn to do that?" I asked in shock.

"What are you talking about?" Kennedy chucked.

"Never, never mind." My head was still spinning. That was the best sex I'd ever had in my life. What had this world done to my sensual organs?

Kennedy turned on his side and kissed my arm. "Want to go again, baby?" he asked.

_HELL TO THE MOTHER FUCKING YES. _My inner voice shouted.

"Oui, Oui," would all that could escape my throat before I tossed myself back at Kennedy.

* * *

**thanks for reading! :D**

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	7. Check Please!

**Yay, finally writing again! Hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Wake up Sleeping Beauty," a voice softly called to me.

"Five more minutes Lovey," I groaned, nestling up to Eric's chest.

"What did you just call me?" the voice chuckled.

That wasn't Eric's voice. I shot my eyes open and focused on Kennedy's face.

"I'm still here," I whispered, sitting up.

"What do you mean?" Kennedy asked, leaning his shoulder on mine.

"Nothing," I replied, my head still spinning, "just a bad dream."

"Well you're awake now," Kennedy kissed my forehead, "and that's good, because we have to go to sound check, and then the show tonight."

Kennedy slid out of bed and pulled on his jeans. I noticed the scratches on his back as he rounded up his clothes on the ground. Things got a little rough, I hope no one noticed. I hadn't realized I was digging into his skin that bad.

"Have you seen my phone?" he asked, still pacing around the room.

"No, why?" I asked, yawning.

"I wanted to call Mom and check up on Fletcher," Kennedy replied. He slipped on his vans and marched into the bathroom. "Found it!" he called to me.

"Kennedy," I replied, "who's Fletcher?"

"You're kidding right?" he laughed as he popped his head out of the bathroom door.

"Not exactly," I replied, my stomach turned. Kennedy was going to think I was insane.

"Honey, Fletcher is our son. You know that…"

I had a son in this world too? And I named him Fletcher? Where was my Hawke? I was a mom and I had never met my son. My heart hurt as I thought about a poor little boy back in Arizona who had no idea that his mother was oblivious to his existence.

"Right," I shook my head and crawled out of bed. Slowly putting my clothing on one piece by one piece, I felt myself beginning to cry. _Hold it together._ I snapped at myself. Don't mess this up. _Wiley told you to just watch and learn. If you keep acting like you're from another planet it's going to blow everything._

"Hey you come here," Kennedy waved me over and I fell into his arms. Hugging his chest I breathed in his aroma and felt as the memories came flooding back.

"What's been up with you?" Kennedy asked into my hair, "first you think Eric's your husband, you think The Summer Set's still together, and now you forget who our son is…"

"I'm sorry," I cried into his chest, "I've just been really mixed up lately, please don't worry about me."

"Of course I'm going to worry about you, you're my wife, and I love you."

"I love you too," I reached up and pecked his lips, "I always have."

"Well that's good to know," Kennedy laughed and kissed me again. "Well this is lovely," he began, "but we have to go."

"Where are we going?" I asked, backing out of his hold.

"I think we're getting something to eat, and then off to practice. You feel warmed up?" he asked.

"Warmed up? Why would I need to be warmed up?"

"For the show tonight," Kennedy wrinkled his brow, "Element's of Surprise. Any of this making sense?"

"Element's of surprise? What about them?"

"Britta, you're the lead singer. You wrote all the songs…"

"Oh my god," I sighed, "I can't handle this."

Kennedy pulled me in again. "Look whatever's going on; please let me know how I can help you. Do you want to go home? I can tell the guys you're sick. Just let me know what to do."

"No, I don't want to go home," I cried into his chest, "I'm fine, I promise. Just a little overwhelmed."

Kennedy rubbed my back as I tried to calm down. Time seemed to stand still when I was in his arms. I remembered how much I missed it. Grasping onto the back of his shirt I squeezed tighter and lightly kissed him chest.

"Britta," he whispered, "we have to go okay. We can talk at dinner."

"Okay," I replied.

Kennedy grabbed the room key off the table and laced his hand with mine. "Come on," he led me out of the room and shut the door.

"Kennedy," I stopped him, "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked, before kissing my forehead.

"For everything," I replied, "you're amazing."

"Come on," he tugged me down the hallway, "I love you, Kid."

***

We sat at the restaurant and I gazed around the table. Lacey sat with John Ohh as they attempted to read the menu. Her diamond engagement ring glistened in the candle light and I admired it's beauty. I still couldn't believe she had ended up with John O'Callaghan. John Gomez fought so hard for her. Lacey was a girl who goes for what she wants and never gives up. That's how she and John Gomez ended up together, but I guess she changed her mind.

The guys from This Century sat at the table directly across from us and I watched as Joel nearly fell on the floor laughing at a joke Ryan had just told. Another blonde sat at their table, nursing a bottle of imported beer. I almost recognized his face, but I couldn't put a name to it. Sean slapped his arm, shaking him from his trace, and mumbled his name. _Tris? As in Tristan? No! Chris. Chris Danforth!_ I figured out who he was in my head. Well, in this world, I guessed we were band mates. How the hell had I ended up in Element's of Surprise? What a fucked up world this was.

I looked straight across the table from me and met eyes with Eric. He shyly smiled and looked the other way. His hair was shorter. Cut just above his ears. It made his eyes look nice. Watching his empty ring finger, I subconsciously began twirling mine. I wanted to take it off and stand up in front of everyone and explain everything. But I couldn't do that; they'd all think I was crazy. Well, most of them already did, after the ordeal on the plane.

Eric looked back at me and my heart skipped a beat. He picked up his water and took a sip, not taking his eyes off mine. My lips quivered and I tried to think of something, anything to say. John Ohh cracked a joke in the foreground and Eric chuckled lightly. I loved his smile. Soon my heart was beating my ears and the restaurant began to slowly fade away. A candle burned between Eric and me as he began to bit his lower lip. My eyes remained focused on his.

"We have a son," I whispered, "his name's Hawke, and he's beautiful. He has your eyes."

Eric didn't seem to hear me, since he continued to focus on the conversation that was buzzing out of my range.

"We got married in Vegas, I was pregnant, but we didn't know. I call you Lovey; you know after your guitar, I named her Lovey. We have a beautiful house in Chandler. And I have an album named All These Mistakes I've Made, I dedicated it to you," I continued rambling until I closed it with, "I love you."

"Britta," Kennedy's voice pulled me back to reality, "I'm going to the bathroom, you alright?"

"What, yeah, I'm fine." I shook my head and waved him toward the bathroom, "go, I'll be fine."

As soon as Kennedy left the table I cleared my throat. Eric's eyes shot to mine and he gave me a half smiled.

"So, Eric." I leaned my chin on my palm, "how are you?"

"I'm fine," he smiled, "why do you ask?"

"Just interested," I replied, "you have a girlfriend?"

Eric laughed and shifted in his seat uncomfortably, "no I don't Britta."

"How's Lucy?" I asked.

John Ohh cleared his throat and Lacey sucked in a deep breath. "What?" I looked around the table confused, "what did I say?"

"Lucy died Britt," Eric replied crestfallen, "she got hit by a car a few months ago, you were there when it happened. You tried to save her."

I felt a lump form in my throat as I pictured Lucy's cute little face, "she died? Eric I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he squeezed his eyes shut, "she's in a better place now, and Dana got me a new puppy."

"Aww really?" I smiled, "what's his name?"

"Hawke," Eric replied.

My heart stopped, "what, what did you say?"

"I said his name his name is Hawke…" Eric repeated.

"Eric, that's…"

"Excuse me ma'am," a waiter came and bumped into my shoulder. I looked up confused. Wiley stood before me wearing a pressed white shirt and black tie. "Ma'am I'm going to need your help for a second."

"What?" I barked.

"Just come with me!" Wiley pulled me away from the table and into a tiny hallway.

"What are you doing!?" I exclaimed.

"Saving your ass," he ripped off the tie. Placing his Red Sox hat back on his head, he grabbed my shoulders and leaned in.

"You're not going to try and kiss me are you?" I replied as he got closer to my face.

"Why? It's not like we're broken up," Wiley replied.

"Yes we are!" I yelled.

"Exactly!" Wiley backed away, "just like you and Eric aren't together! You can't keep bringing up details from you and Eric's relationship, because in this world, it didn't happen!"

"But, it did," I cried, "I know it did."

"No it didn't!" Wiley exclaimed, "you have to get a grip or you're not going to learn anything."

"What the fuck am I supposed to be learning anyway?" I screamed, "this isn't teaching me anything. All I did was have amazing sex with Kennedy, and now I'm here. At a restaurant in Paris, sitting across from my husband, that isn't even really my husband."

"And how does that make you feel?" Wiley asked.

"Like shit," I replied, my voice dropping an octave, "like I miss him. But then there's Kennedy."

"Does Kennedy make you happy?" Wiley asked.

"Of course he does," I admitted.

"So everything's perfect?" he questioned.

"I guess so," I shrugged.

"Does that look perfect?" Wiley turned my shoulders to face the group. Kennedy was back at the table and Lacey's head was rested on John's shoulder. Andrew and Justin had joined my table, Andrew's seat next to mine. Everyone was smiling. Drinks were flowing, laughs filled the room.

Then I noticed Eric. He wasn't smiling, or laughing, or drinking. He slowly dragged his finger in circles around the rim of his glass. Leaning back in his chair, his light zip up hoodie separated and a hint of red popped out. The red tank top that I had worn so many times, he was wearing it. He started into the distance, then at Kennedy, and then at my empty chair.

"You still want me to answer those questions you asked before?" Wiley asked as I turned back and faced him.

"I only want to know one, and that's the only one that matters…"

"And which one would that be?" Wiley asked.

"Did the night we went to Walmart and kissed in room 115 happen?" I calmly asked.

"Yes," Wiley whispered, "it all happened. Everything."

"So, I really do love Eric," I whispered, "but I chose Kennedy."

"Yes, you do and you did," Wiley shook his head.

"I have to fix this," I exclaimed.

"See you're learning things already," Wiley smiled as he backed away.

"What do you mean?" I exclaimed, "help me fix this, Wiley!" He was gone.

I casually walked back to the table and took my seat. Eric darted his eyes to the floor and Kennedy nudged my arm. "Where were you?"

"Talking to a friend," I replied.

"Just a friend?" Kennedy laughed.

"Yes," I replied defensively.

"I'm just kidding," he laced his fingers with mine, "I know it was just a friend, besides, who loves you more than me?"

My eyes automatically darted to Eric. "No one," I sadly whispered.

* * *

**thanks for reading.**

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	8. All Time Los

**Chapter 8 :) hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"And please welcome to the stage Element's of Surprise!" the announcer exclaimed overhead.

I followed the group of guys on stage and faced the crowd of screaming fans. I had done this so many times it was hard to be nervous, but then I realized I didn't know any of these songs they expected me to play.

"Chris!" I hissed, "come here."

"What's up?" he asked, stepping up to my side.

I covered the microphone with my hand and whispered, "What song are we playing first?"

"Don't Give Up On Me," Chris replied, "you know that."

"Oh right," I shook my head. Chris backed away and my heart sped into a panic. I'd never heard this song before, what the hell was "Don't Give Up On Me?"

"ELEMENT'S ELEMENT'S ELEMENT'S!" the crowd chanted.

"Hi everyone," I squeaked into the mic. "How are you all feeling?"

A few screams came from the bustling audience and a "Fucking Amazing" came from the far right.

_Okay, you can do this._ I told myself. _All you have to do is stall. Someone will realize something's wrong._

"So you guys excited for This Century?"

The crowd screamed and I smiled. This was working.

"How about A Rocket To The Moon?" The screams got louder, the crowd pushed closer to the stage.

"And are you excited to see The Maine!?" I yelled into the mic.

Everyone went wild; the screams were almost too loud to bear.

"You know, my husband Kennedy plays in The Maine," I began rambling. "We have a son together named Fletcher. Did you know that I met Kennedy when I was only 18? He was the first person I ever loved. I love him very much, he makes me happy. Does everybody here have someone that makes them happy?"

Throughout the crowd girls screamed and "awed" it was a nice feeling. I looked off stage, hoping to find Kennedy, but instead locked eyes with Eric. He smiled at me but then dropped his eyes to the floor. His blue "Element's of Surprise" shirt glowed under the backstage lights and his hands were stuck nervously in his pockets.

"Has-has- anyone in the crowd ever been in love, but loved someone else?" I asked.

A few distant "uhm hms" came pouring onto the stage and the faces of the band members around me began to grow annoyed. Ignoring them, I kept my eyes focused on Eric. He looked back at me and mouthed "are you okay?" I shook my head and called back, "I love you."

A wave of confusion washed over everyone. I faced the crowd and reached up for my neckline. With the touch of my fingers the "Kennedy" tattoo began to wipe off like Dry eraser marker on a white board.

"This is all a lie everyone," I sighed; "None of this is real."

"What?" Chris barked in the distance.

"I'm not married to Kennedy and my son's name is not Fletcher, it's Hawke. Hawke Christopher Halvorsen. I'm in love with Eric Halvorsen," I looked over at Eric, his eyes were wide and his jaw dropped nearly to his knees, "I always have been."

"BRITTA, YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" Wiley voice bounced around in my ear.

"Shut up!" I yelled back. Turning back to the crowd I continued confessing the truth; "I'm not the lead singer of Element's of Surprise, I'm a solo artist. I have an album and a single with Taylor Swift. Hell, even Justin Bieber wants my nuts. I live in Chandler, in a beautiful house with my husband and my son. My best friend's name is Lacey. We're not talking right now because she slept with Kennedy. And even though I'm married to Eric, it still hurt me because I'm still in love with Kennedy. Or so I thought…Everyone, I realized that I'm not still in love with Kennedy. That's what I was supposed to learn, isn't it Wiley. I was supposed to realize that I don't really love Kennedy. I might think I do, but I know it's over. And, and I love Eric. I love him more than anything and I need to stop this whole Kennedy thing, or I'm going to lose him forever. I realized that before I can forgive Lacey, I have to forgive myself. And I have to tell the man I love, that he's the only man I love." I looked back at Eric, "And I need to tell him I'm sorry, for anything I ever did that hurt him, and I'm never going to forget how much I love him or take him for granted again."

The crowd fell silent. The band members behind me awkwardly put their instruments down and stepped away. Forgetting them, I ran off stage headed straight for Eric. As I stepped past the curtain a chord wrapped around my ankle and I fell hard against the ground. I shot of pain sent up my body as my hips crashed into the cold, dead wood of backstage. I screamed as the pain pulsed again and snapped my eyes shut.

Peeling them open again I blinked awake and was staring a milky white ceiling.

"Britta," a female voice shook me from my confusion, "how are you feeling?" Gloria stood before me holding a glass of water.

"Gloria!" I exclaimed, "I've never been so happy to see you!"

"Well I'm glad," she smiled and handed me the water, "how was your trip?"

"Awful," I replied after taking a long sip, "just awful. I was married to Kennedy. And we had, we had AMAZING sex."

"Well that doesn't sound awful," Gloria chuckled.

"It was," I shook my head, "the whole time, I felt guilty. All I wanted was Eric."

"So what do you think the dream was trying to tell you?" Gloria asked.

"That I'm not in love with Kennedy," I replied, "that Eric has always been the one."

"Good to know," Gloria smiled, "do you think the dreams will end now?"

"Yeah," I sighed in relief, "I do."

"Well then, I'd say that was a successful session huh?" Gloria replied.

"Most definitely," I agreed, "and you know what's weird? I had a son in this world too. His name was Fletcher."

"Well what's so weird about that?" Gloria asked.

"Why would I name my son Fletcher? I've never thought about that name before, ever." I replied.

"Look around you," Gloria instructed.

I scanned the room with my eyes and landed on a huge painting on the far wall, "Fletcher Stevens" was sketched into the bottom right corner.

"That painting is usually the last thing patients see before they go under, subconsciously it slips into their dreams," Gloria explained, "sometimes it's funny to hear the stories.

I chuckled and sat up, "well that you Gloria, you helped me a lot."

"I'm glad," she stood and led me to the door, "I hope to hear from you soon to check up on your progress. You have my number if you need me."

"Got it," I shook my head and slipped out the door.

***

I pulled into the driveway of Eric and I's house and shut off the engine. Relieved the dreams would finally be over; I hopped out of the car and ran for the front steps. "Eric!" I called as I marched inside. The house was empty.

"Oh no!" I whispered, "what if I'm still dreaming? Am I alone? Did I never marry Eric?"

The answering machine beeped in the middle of the hall and I ran to it. Hoping it would have some answers.

"One New Message!" I robotic voice sprang through the speakers.

"Britta Boo!" I heard a familiar voice exclaim, "We're in LA for a few weeks working on the new record and I need your help love."

"GASKARTH!" I screamed, "Did I marry Gaskarth?" The voice mail continued.

"I understand if you're busy, being a mommy and stuff, but the guys miss you…okay, and I miss you, and we feel your excellence is needed. If you can, just hit me up, you know the number. By best friend."

_HE SAID I WAS A MOM. _Okay, so obviously I wasn't dreaming. But where was Eric? Where was my son? Pacing further down the hallway, I ended up at the back door and looked out. At first there was nothing, but soon my son went running by, followed by Eric. He was wearing the red tank top.

"Eric!" I yelled as I ran outside. Hawke continued running towards his swing set but Eric stopped.

"Wifey," I chucked and pulled me in, "how was the hypno-stuff?"

"It was very…eye opening," I replied.

I followed Eric to the bench and watched as Hawke played in his sandbox.

"So what happened?" Eric asked.

I explained to him my entire dream; waking up twice, The Maine still being together, even the amazing sex with Kennedy.

"Well now I guess you and Lacey can compare notes," Eric nervously chuckled.

"Good one!" I slapped his arm, "you be quiet."

"I love you," he randomly replied.

"I love you too," I pecked his lips, "even in my dreams."

"So I was thinking," Eric laced his fingers with mine, "Instead of going to New York, how about we go to Boston?"

"Random," I smiled, "why?"

"Well, we could see Nick, and Sam, and Jesse." Eric reminded me of all the people I missed over on the east coast.

"That sounds great," I shook my head, "but I can't go."

"Why not?" Eric asked.

"I have to go to LA," I replied, "All Time Low wants me to do some stuff with them for the new record."

"You're serious?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, a long time ago I promised Alex that if they ever needed my help I'd be there," I explained, "you know Alex and I have been friends for a long time, it's something I should probably do."

"I understand," Eric shook his head, "but I already told Nick we were coming. And Sam, she… never-never mind."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, I understand if you have to help them in LA, but it's gonna suck going all the way to the other side of the country without you."

"How about this," I bounced off of the bench, "I go to LA, help the band and then take a red-eye flight to Boston as soon as I can. I'll barely miss anything and I can help them."

"Sounds good," Eric smiled, "but what happens if you fall in love with LA again? Last time you were supposed to stay for a month, and we ended up staying for nearly two."

"But that's because I was with you," I cooed. Eric kissed my forehead and I grasped into his tank top.

"This is going to suck huh?" he mumbled into my warming skin.

"I promise it won't" I replied.

I was going to do all I could to keep my promise.

* * *

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	9. Who's Your Guy?

** yaya chapter 9 :) hope you enjoy!!**

* * *

We stood in the airport, face to face. Eric clutched Hawke to his chest with his right arm and held his bag with his left. He kissed my forehead and I dug my face into his chest. I knew what would come next. I hated this part.

"Goodbye, Wifey."

"Goodbye, Lovey."

I kissed Hawke's tiny cheek and then planted a kiss on Eric's lips. That was the last time I'd be able to do that for a while. I almost didn't want to go, but I knew I was going to anyway. LA was like my home away from home, and I didn't want to pass up a chance to see my best guy's friends.

"Call me when you land," I whispered as Eric turned to leave.

"Same to you," he called over his shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

I watched him walk away and turn the corner to his terminal. Why did he have to go to Boston anyway? I stood there for a few seconds hoping he'd come running back around the corner and come with me. I waited. He never came back. Grabbing my bag, I turned and faced my terminal. It wasn't a long flight, but I hated flying alone. My whole world was on boarding another flight, going 1,000 miles away. What if something happened to them? I couldn't lose my son and my husband at the same time. _Man, airports really triggered my paranoia._

I boarded my flight and found my seat. The sky was clear and I kissed Arizona goodbye out the window. Before they had the chance to tell me to turn off my phone I quickly texted Eric; "I love you and miss you already. See you soon." I shut my phone off before he replied. I wanted whatever he said back it to be a surprise.

***

**Eric's POV-**

The plane landed in Boston and of course it was drizzling.

"Goodbye Arizona weather," I mumbled as I stepped outside. Nick was already waiting in the car and he hopped out as soon as he spotted Hawke and I.

"Halvo, how the hell are ya?" he chuckled as he pulled the car door open.

"Wet," I replied as I slid in the backseat. Nick already had a car seat in back for his nephew so I strapped Hawke in and we took off.

"So I notice you're wifeless," Nick added from the driver's seat.

"She's in LA," I rolled my eyes.

"Where's Brian?" Nick laughed at his own joke.

"HA HA," I scoffed. "Shit I was supposed to call her when I landed."

"Ka Chhh" Nick mocked the movement of a whip with his arm.

"Ha ha," I laughed dryly. "I'm not whipped, I'm married."

"Whatever you say," Nick shook his head. "Speaking of marriage, how've you guys been? You know, after the whole Kennedy thing."

"Nick, that was like a year ago," I replied.

"I know but, you both kinda…I don't know, I just feel like you can't really recover from something like that, without having some issues," Nick shrugged, "I could be wrong."

"What do you mean 'something like that?'?" I asked, glaring at Nick in the rearview mirror.

"I mean, you guys were married, she was pregnant…and she just chose Kennedy. But then...remarried you. Sounds sketchy…"

"It's because I left," I mumbled, "I left her, alone and scared, and Kennedy comforted her. We talked about everything. She doesn't love him anymore, man."

"Oh I believe that," Nick smiled, "I saw you guys at the wedding, that girl is crazy in love with you. I just feel like she ran away too easily."

"She didn't run away, I did."

"I mean run away to someone else man, and by someone else I mean Kennedy."

"Listen, I hear what you're saying, but we're fine really. Kennedy's out of the picture, and we've never been happier. And I'd think my best friend would want me to be happy too."

"Of course I want you to be happy," Nick exclaimed.

"And who makes me happy?" I questioned.

"Britta," Nick sighed, "I know man, I'm not saying she doesn't."

"Well good," I reached over and rubbed Hawke's tiny hand, "and this little boy makes me so flippin happy."

"He's adorable," Nick laughed, "looks just like his mom."

"Oh thanks!" I replied sarcastically.

"We're here!" Nick pulled into the driveway.

"This isn't your house…" I wrinkled my brow and examined the house we had pulled up too. It was a raised ranch, white with red trimmings. Two more cars were parked in the driveway; a blue Honda Accord and a red Dodge Neon. Wait a red Neon? I gave it a second look and noticed the On Your Side sticker on the bumper.

"Nick, why's Britta's car parked here?" I asked stepping out of the car.

"That's not Britta's car anymore dude," Nick laughed, "it's her sister, Tiffany's"

"Why is Tiffany here?" I asked confused.

"Just come inside," Nick waved me in and I followed him up the stone steps. I was beyond confused of the situation. I didn't know whose house I was at, or why I was here. And I really had no idea why Britta's sister was here.

"Wait man, before we go inside…" I stopped Nick before he rang the door bell; "whose house is this?"

"It's Sam and Jesse's," Nick replied.

"And we're here because?"

"Well…you were supposed to be with your wife…"

"SURPRISE!" Sam threw the door open and pulled me into a hug. "Wait a second!" she huffed over my shoulder, "you do not feel like my best friend. You feel like my best friend's husband."

"I am your best friend's husband," I laughed, "Britta's not with me."

"Well why not?" she whined as she backed away.

"I'll explain once we get inside, huh." I motioned towards the door and the drizzling rain.

"Right…" Sam turned on her heels and led us into the house. Jesse sat on the couch watching a rerun of House. A few distant voices came pouring out of the hallways but I couldn't put a face to any of them.

Sam hopped up on one of the stools at the breakfast bar and popped a white chocolate Kit Kat in her mouth. I placed Hawke down and watched closely as he crawled over to the couch.

"Hey buddy," Jesse chuckled as Hawke slumped next to his foot.

"So why isn't Britta with you?" Sam asked, licking the chocolate of her fingers.

"She's in LA," I explained.

"Where's Brian?" Sam asked. Nick burst into laughter, "I said that too," he squeaked through his chuckles.

"Wow, you're sooooo funny," I replied through my teeth.

"You know I'm just fucking with ya, Halvo." Sam smiled. She hopped off the stool and grabbed a coke off the table. Taking a swig she asked; "but really, why's she in LA?"

"She's recording with All Time Low," I explained.

"SHE HUT?" Sam exclaimed with a mouthful of soda.

"She's with All Time Low, they're working on their new record," I repeated, "she'll be here soon."

"Eric, she needs to come home, now." Sam replied with a stone face.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"I can't talk about it, but she needs to come home," Sam jumped off the stool, "call her."

"Not until you tell me what's going on!" I exclaimed.

"Eric, I can't. It's a best friend thing. I just, I can't. But she needs to come home, now, okay?"

"Sam, she hasn't even been in LA for a day yet, I'm not calling her and telling her to go home!"

Sam stared me down for a second as she clenched and unclenched her fist. I could tell what she wanted to tell me was right on the tip of her tongue. I just had to keep pushing her until she cracked.

"Eric, for the sake of your marriage. Just call her!" Sam urged.

"Fine!" I whipped out my phone and hit speed dial. "Happy!" It rang six times and then went to voicemail. _Well that's weird._

"She didn't answer," I announced, placing my phone back in her pocket. That was weird. She must landed a few hours ago, and she never called me.

"I knew it," Sam shook her head, "fucking Gaskarth."

"Sam, what are you talking about?" I demanded.

"I don't want to tell you," Sam scratched her head, "maybe it's nothing."

"Sam, tell me. I called her, I did what you said, just tell me," I begged.

"It's just, at her bachelorette party…" Sam began. "We were all kinda kidding around and we picked our 'if we had the chance to get away with it, who would we cheat on our men with' guys. It started off as a joke, but then it became sorta like a pact. It was supposed to be a secret."

"Who was your guy, Samantha?" Jesse asked, uncomfortably, from the couch.

"Criss Angel," Sam replied, "like that'll ever happen."

"And Britta's guy was?" I quietly asked.

"Alex Gaskarth," Sam sadly answered.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :)**

reviews would be lovely.


	10. Tiffany and Co

**Gaskarth, what are you going to do? ;)**

* * *

The plane landed and I waited patiently in my seat for them to tell us it was safe to get up and go. I clicked off my iPod and stuck it in my pocket. The couple in front of me stood up, and after exchanging a few quick glances, snuck a kiss. They were cute. I cradled my phone in my lap, but I was waiting to call Eric until I was settled. He was probably still on his flight anyway. He had a lot farther to go than I did.

I stood up and grabbed my carryon from overhead. Filing off the plane, I stepped into the eerie tunnel and the memories from two years ago came flooding back. I had to leave Eric back in Arizona and fly all the way to LA alone. I hated planes and I was scared to death. Mark met me at the airport and showed me where my apartment was. Everything was amazing and new. I was overwhelmed. This time I knew what was coming to me. Or at least I thought so.

The main lobby was bustling with people going every which way. I had no idea who was picking me up at the airport, or even where I was going now I was here. I checked in for my bags and watched as the bag return spun in circles. Finally my suitcase came around and I plucked it off the conveyor belt.

"Britta!" I heard someone call my name. I whipped around and searched the crowd. Finally my eyes landed on Alex. He was wearing a blue and grey plaid flannel over a black t-shirt, long jeans and Nike's. He hadn't changed a bit since the last time I saw him.

"Alex," I exclaimed as I jogged to him. "I didn't know you were getting me here!"

"Hell yeah," Alex laughed, "I missed you best friend."

"I missed you too," I smiled. Alex pulled me into a hug and I awkwardly wrapped my arms around him. We don't hug. Hugging him only made me miss Eric's hugs. I sucked in a deep breath and stepped back.

"You alright?" Alex asked grabbing my bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"I'm fine," I sighed, "just missing home."

"You've only been in LA for two minutes and you already miss home!" Alex winked as he led me towards the exit, "You're pathetic!"

"I'm married," I laughed.

"Still?"

I looked up at him with wide eyes. He chuckled and swore he was kidding. I slapped him arm and gave him my "your sense of humor isn't funny" look.

"The only reason I ask is because last time we talked you guys weren't doing so good," Alex explained as we hopped in the car.

"When was the last time we talked?" I questioned. Kicking my moccasins off, I stuck my feet up on the dash and rolled down the window. The LA breeze was feeling pretty nice.

"Hmm let's see," Alex tapped his chin. "You were very drunk, and you were calling to tell me that someone slept with someone and you and Eric were splitting because you couldn't get over it. You told me to pick you up. You were in Chandler. I was in Baltimore. See the issue."

I sighed as I remembered the drunken call. It was a while ago and things weren't looking good. I drank a little too much, okay a lot too much and refused to go home. Eric and I got into an argument about the Kennedy Lacey thing and he left the party. Or were we at a bar? Either way he left. He said if it bothered me so much that I should go sleep with Kennedy and make it even. Instead of being a good wife and saying "OH NO, THAT WON'T MAKE ANYTHING BETTER," I chose to yell across the room "MAYBE I FUCKING WILL!" After that night I stopped drinking. It's funny. I'd been 21 for nearly 3 months and only drank once. Thank you, Hawke Halvorsen for saving your mother from more embarrassment.

"I'm really sorry about that Alex," I apologized, "I promise nothing like that will happen again. I don't drink anymore. And Eric and I are fine. I promised myself I'd make things better, and I'm going to."

Alex shook his head as we stopped at a red light. "A promise to yourself?"

"Yeah, a promise. Something I plan to keep," I replied chuckling.

"So like a pact…"

"Gaskarth, what are you getting at?" I asked shifting in my seat. A tiny smile creeped on Alex's face as we turned the corner into the hotel parking lot.

"You said some other stuff on the phone too," Alex laughed to himself.

"Alex, what did I say?" I frantically questioned.

"Oh nothing," he hopped out of the car, "other than the fact that you'd cheat on your husband with me."

"Oh my fucking God!" I screamed, "Alex…" He slammed the door shut and raced for the hotel door. I couldn't believe I'd told him about the pact from my bachelorette party. Okay so Alex is fucking hott and a sweet guy. Of course I was going to choose him as my "dirty little secret" but I wasn't serious about it. It was a joke, everyone knew that…right?

**Eric's POV-**

Alex Gaskarth? The guy she was with right now. Fuck. My. Life. But she wouldn't do that. It was a stupid joke at a bachelorette party. Britta's there to record with them and then come to Boston. She's not staying long, I'll see her soon and everything will be fine. Breathe, Halvo.

"Has she called you yet?" Sam asked. I looked down at my phone. It hadn't rang yet. She should have landed already. Sam read my expression and sighed, "maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's something, but you don't know what Gaskarth can do to people. Especially pushovers like Britta."

"She's not a pushover!" I exclaimed, "and stop doubting her, just let it go. She's fine, we're fine."

"She's not a pushover? Eric, how long after her and Kennedy broke up did you two end up together?"

I rolled my eyes, "that's completely different."

"And how fast did she get back with Kennedy as soon as you ran away?"

"Sam, just stop. She's not a pushover. She's not an anything. She's over there to record and then she's coming here."

"Who's coming here?" a familiar yet unique voice came from behind me. I turned and met eyes with a slightly shorter version of my wife. Her jet black, relaxed hair was cut into a bob with a strike of blond through the bangs. She had Britta's eyes, and her lips…it scared me how much they actually looked alike.

"Hey Tiff," I stood as she approached the table.

"Bil!" She exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.

"Ugh, Tiffy, my names Eric…"

"Bitch, I know!" Tiffany laughed. "BIL, brother in law. God you're old."

"Excuse me," I laughed, "I'm only 4 years older than you. Miss 19 over here. Sorry we missed your birthday."

"It's okay," Tiffany smiled, "I had a pretty awesome birthday anyway…" She winked as she walked over to the couch and swooped up Hawke.

"How's my little nephew?" she baby talked as she pretended to bite his cute little pointed finger.

"Hey Tiff?" Sam called from the kitchen. Tiffany looked up from Hawke and shook her head. Sam grabbed a bottle of Sprite out of the fridge and casually poured herself a drink while asking; "if Britta could sleep with any guy, who would it be?"

"Eric…" Tiffany replied, confused. Her eyes darted between Sam and I for a second. Sam brought the bubbly glass of sprite to her lips and took a swig.

"Other that Eric?" she asked, after swallowing. She shot me a glance as Tiffany squirmed.

"Well that's easy," a male voice came from around the corner, "Alex Gaskarth." Wiley rounded the corner wearing a smile and tight Berklee sweatshirt. Why the fuck was Wiley here?

"Babe!" Tiffany scolded. Wiley shrugged as he walked over to Tiffany. He kissed her cheek and grabbed his keys off the coffee table. "I gotta go," he announced heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Tiffany asked, crestfallen.

"Work," Wiley replied, "I'll call you when I get out, alright?"

"Okay," Tiffany shook her head. Wiley closed the door and she sighed.

"You're dating Wiley," I questioned, still not believing it.

"Yeah," Tiffany placed Hawke back down on the couch, "I'm sure for how much longer though."

Sam snorted as she plopped back down at the breakfast counter. I looked at both Tiffany and Sam and waited for one of them to say something.

"So…" Nick finally broke the silence. "You're dating your sister's first boyfriend, that's cool…"

"Shut up Nick," I shook my head.

"No, I know it's dumb," Tiffany admitted. "Britta would kill me if she found out. I was going to tell her when she came, but she's not here…"

"She's coming," I explained, "she's just spending a few days in LA and then coming here."

"Right after her and Alex do the dirty," Sam sing-songed.

"Sam, shut up," I warned.

"Actually guys…" Jesse looked up from his lap top. "You might want to see this."

Sam scrambled off the stool and raced over to the laptop. Whatever it was, I didn't want to see. And I didn't care.

Sam gasped and dropped on the couch next to Jesse. Tiffany came running over and read the screen; "_Looks like Britta's "made another mistake." She was spotted checking into a hotel room with a rock band hunk, that's not her husband! Has Britta reached an All Time Low?"_

* * *

**oh no, it's it just the tabloids or is Gaskarth starting trouble???**

reviews would be lovely :)


	11. It's 3:30 Somewhere

**_Has Britta reached an All Time Low?_ ;) enjoy!**

"Fucking paparazzi," I mumbled as I finally reached the door of the hotel. They had followed Alex's car here and were having a frenzy taking pictures of me. I already wanted to go back to Arizona, where I wasn't followed and photographed. But in a way it was sort of flattering. At home, I was a wife, mother, and friend. Here I was a celebrity; I was someone's hero or enemy. Here I could be anyone I wanted.

I pulled open the door and stepped inside. The lobby smelled like vanilla candles and a beautiful water fountain sat in the far corner. Alex was at the front desk already, flirting with the receptionist. He looked over at me and smiled. Leaning over the counter, he whispered in the girl's ear and she shook her head. She shot her fingers across the keyboard and handed Alex a small envelope.

"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work," I rolled my eyes as I stepped up next to Alex at the counter. The girl, whose name tag informed me, was named Amanda, smiled at me. Her lips were stained a deep red and she had a freckled right under the bridge of her nose. She looked oddly familiar. We both exchanged a few glances, but neither of us said anything. I had to remember where I saw her before.

"I'm not planning anything," Alex replied, "I just checked you in, now let's go."

"Hold on a second," I put up my hand. It was all coming back to me. The red lipstick, the golden blonde hair, I'd definitely seen this girl before. "Did you used to work at Fearless Records?" I asked.

Amanda shook her head and I watched as her recognition of me spread across her face. "Yes, wait…you're not. Britta!" She ran from around the other side of the counter and pulled me into a hug. "Gosh, it's been forever!"

"I know," I laughed over her shoulder, "how've you been?" Amanda stepped back and gave me a once over, "I've been fine; forget about me…how've you been? You still with Kennedy?"

The back of my throat began to dry. "No, I'm not." I shook my head. "I'm married."

"You're married, and not to Kennedy?" Amanda asked in astonishment.

"Yeah," I shook my head, "I married Eric Halvorsen. We actually, we have a son."

"You're kidding!" she exclaimed, "Britt, that's awesome."

Amanda and chatted for a bit before Alex's impatience grew past waiting for me. After hugging her once again, I gave her my number and followed Alex down the hallway to the elevator.

"Small world huh?" Alex smirked as the doors of the elevator shut.

"Yeah, I can't believe I saw her here, she used to work at the label I interned at. She was there when I met Kennedy," I explained.

"That's funny," Alex leaned against the elevator wall and stuck his hand in his pocket.

"What's funny?" I asked, watching the numbers raise and the light skip from floor to floor.

"I mean, look where she is, and look where you are. You started off at the same place…"

I thought about what Alex said long after we found the room. It stuck with me. Amanda was in the same position I was, and somehow I got out. It didn't seem fair. What had I done differently? What if Kennedy had fallen in love with her instead of me? Where would I be right now? The whole situation scared me. I didn't want to think about it, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about Kennedy. The more I thought about Kennedy, the more I missed him. Missing him was bad, I had to move on or else the dreams would come back. Maybe a few nights away from Eric wasn't helping, but going to hurt. The more time I had to think and miss Kennedy, the better chance I was going to have the nightmares. The thought of not having Eric there when I woke up scared me more than any bad dream.

"Hey you alright?" Alex asked, rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm fine," I replied. I tossed my bag on the bed and kicked off my shoes. "What did you whisper to Amanda when we were down there?"

"Oh nothing," Alex snickered. "See ya neighbor!" Jogging away from the single king sized bed Alex unlocked a door in the hall between the bedroom and the bathroom and pulled it open.

"You did not!" I yelled, "you got us connecting rooms? You suck!"

"Now we can have sleepovers!" Alex giggled.

"No!" I flopped down on the bed. "No sleepovers. No alcohol. I'm here to help you guys record and then I'm flying to Boston."

Alex rolled his eyes; "Eric's got you on a short leash. It's a shame, you deserve better than that. You should be with someone that trusts you."

"Okay, Alex," I huffed as he closed the door. I grabbed the pillow and smashed it into my lap. "Eric doesn't have me on any leash," I whispered, "I don't trust myself. He deserves better."

A few minutes later Alex returned with a freshly opened bottle of water. He took a sip and sat at the end of the bed.

"Alex," I looked at him, then at the counter. "You know those waters cost like four dollars right. And you have to pay just because you opened it."

"Who cares," he shrugged, "I'm not paying for it."

I laughed and sprawled out on the bed. "Gaskarth!" I moaned, "why am I in LA?"

Alex crawled up next to me and patted my hair. "Because you love me and want to help my poor little band with our record." I shook my head, "right right." Alex chuckled, "and you want me…"

"Ugh," I slapped his arm, "I don't want you, bud sorry."

"Well then who do you want?" Alex asked. I didn't know whether he was serious at first. I watched his eyes, but his expression didn't change. He tucked his hands under his head and waited for a response.

"I want Eric, Alex…he's my husband." I pulled my legs up into a tight ball. This bed was incredibly comfortable. The whole room was comfortable. It wasn't too flashy, but not run down either. It reminded me of the hotel we'd stayed at the night before Warped.

"Are you sure?" Alex hesitated before he asked. "What do you mean 'am I sure?'?" I exclaimed, "of course I'm sure, he's my husband."

"Britt, how long have I known you?" Alex ignored my response and continued with his rant of pointless questions.

"A long time Alex," I rolled my eyes, "since The Maine toured with you guys ages ago, that's how long."

"And you'd say we're friends right?" He batted his eyes.

"Yes, Gaskank, we're friends." I replied, not quite getting his point.

"Okay good. We've been friends for a while right and…well, I'm the same Alex, but you're a different Britta," he replied.

"What do you mean?" I wrinkled my brow. I didn't feel like a different Britta. I was still me. Okay, so I was married and a mother, but I'm still me, I didn't change. Did I?

"I mean, the Britta I met was wild and exciting. She laughed and sang and just lived. The Britta I knew was happy. She was never stressed or worried about anything. I miss that girl," Alex explained.

"Alex that was the 18 year old Britta. I was dumb and naïve and I was ignoring the real world. That Britta's not me…"

"_That_ Britta was happy. That Britta was…" Alex cut me off.

"That Britta grew up, that Britta got married and started a career. That Britta had a baby, and bought a house. The old Britta, she had fun, but she's gone."

"You're not listening," Alex shook his head, "I understand you're grown up, Britt. You're 21, you have a baby. But, you're stressed all the time. You're worried about _Eric _this and _Eric_ that. When do you ever do anything for yourself…?"

"I'm here aren't I?" I exclaimed, "this is for myself."

"And…you're stressing already about getting home on time. You're not having fun."

"Alex, I've been in LA for a half hour…"

"Look, all I'm saying is, you're worried about Eric's trust problems, and stressing over just being here in general. I miss the you that wouldn't care what anyone thought. You, you were so happy…you were in love. With Kennedy."

Kennedy? He was going to bring up Kennedy? Wow, Gaskarth. In a huff I sat up and leaned against the headboard. Alex stood and faced out the window. An awkward silence drifted between us for a few seconds until I finally spoke.

"Do you ever wonder why I have trust problems Alex? It's because of Kennedy! He was my everything, of course I wouldn't think he'd hurt me, but he did. He broke my fucking heart, and yeah, it's kinda hard to trust someone like that again. But I've finally found someone I can trust and I'm in love. I don't understand why you can't just be happy for me."

Alex whipped around and slightly kneeled on the bed, "trust me," he began, "I am happy for you. I just want to see _you_ happy."

"I am happy!" I laughed, "you're not getting it, I've never been happier. I've got so much going on right now, and-and none of it matters because every day I can wake up and say 'hey I'm Mrs. Halvorsen.'"

Alex smiled, "Whatever you say."

"Did Kennedy put you up to this?" I asked, tossing a pillow at Alex.

"No," he shook his head and shoved the pillow back at me, "I just…I talked to someone. Never mind."

"No who!" I hopped off the bed, "who did you talk to?"

"It's not important," Alex started for the door, "let's go. I need a drink."

"Alex," I looked at the stereotypical hotel alarm clock, "it's three thirty…"

After Alex picked up a six pack we headed to the studio to meet up with the guys. When we pulled in Rian was standing outside talking on his phone. I waved but he didn't see me. We hopped out of the car and I ran up behind him. "Boo!" I jumped on his back and he jumped, nearly dropping his phone. "Hold on hon," he said into the receiver. He smiled wide and pulled me into a hug. Over his shoulder I could see into the studio. Jack was running around wearing a bra over his shirt. Whose bra it was, was a mystery to me and most likely Jack.

"Didn't think I see you again anytime soon," Rian said over my shoulder.

"It's been forever huh?" We pulled apart and I waited for Alex to catch up. Rian placed the phone back up to his ear. Alex waved the six pack in front of his face and pointed towards the door. Rian motioned for him to go in, "I'll be in in a sec," he mouthed before we stepped inside.

"Who's got him all love struck?" I asked, once the door was closed.

"Cassadee," Alex rolled his eyes, "whatever that is."

"Cassadee Pope!" I exclaimed, "legit?"

"Legit as shit," Alex replied through barely moving lips.

"I'm sorry this is such a struggle for you," I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's whatever," Alex shrugged, "I really liked Kara, but it's his decision, not mine."

We stepped in the glass studio and a few random faces were scattered across the room. Jack came racing over, still wearing the bra, and grabbed two beers. I searched the room for my favorite muscle boy, but I couldn't find him. "Where's Zack?" I asked.

Alex placed the beer on the table and took a seat. He cracked one open and sighed. "He's with his "girlfriend" back in Maryland. He's flying in sometime next week. Right now we have a temp replacement to work on some rough tracks but…I don't know. If he shows up, he's still in the band."

"Sounds juicy," I sat down across from Alex and grabbed a bottle from the box.

Alex eyed me and soon a small smile swept across his face. "I thought you didn't drink anymore."

"I thought you missed the old Britta," I shot back, popping the top of with the bottle opener on Alex's key chain.

"Touché," Alex winked, "I'm corrupting you already."

I rolled my eyes and took a generous sip. I hated beer. "So tell me about this replacement. Is he good? How'd you meet him?"

"He's not exactly a he…" Alex began.

"GET BACK HERE WITH MY BRA!" A female voice came booming around the corner. Feeling as if my brain shifted from the sudden jolt, I snapped my neck to the other side of the room. Jack took off running and a familiar face came bursting into the room.

"You ass!" They yelled, "I can't believe you went in my bag and took my bra, you're such a…"

I jumped out of my seat as I focused on the girl. The bright green eyes I'd seen so many times stared back at me. Her auburn hair was lighter and crinkled into beach waves. The nose. The lips. The piercing. It was all there.

"Lacey," I whispered.

**thanks for reading!! :)**


	12. The Hideout

**Some shit's about to go down!**

"So how'd you find me?" Lacey asked as we strolled down the streets of LA. After our surprise reunion we decided the best thing to do was to go for a walk and talk. I was fine with the idea, but Lacey was paranoid that someone would see her. She insisted we take a few back streets at first, and then work our way back to the studio. We left the studio and took a left down Brownian Ave. Avoiding being recognized, Lacey tried to disguise her self as best she coudl. Her black Prada sunglasses covered half of her face, while her hair was pulled back in a tight pony tail. She didn't smile or laugh, or even talk most of the time. She walked looking down and never lost focus on the ground.

"I didn't mean to find you," I admitted, "I had no idea you'd be at the studio. Alex told me…" Lacey stopped dead in her tracts and looked up at me frantically. Her green eyes peeked over her sunglasses as she barked: "what did Alex tell you?"

"He didn't tell me anything," I replied, taking off down the street. "He said that they found a replacement bassist while Zack was with his girlfriend back in Baltimore. He never said it was going to be you."

Lacey kept up with my pace as we rounded another corner. We were a few blocks away from the apartments I stayed at when I recorded my album. I figured we could stop and talk there if Lacey wanted.

"It's funny," Lacey laughed, "I thought you were going to kill me." The thought of her and Kennedy sleeping together crawled back into my head and my teeth began to grind. _No, Britta._ I scorned myself. _You heard Gloria, you have to forgive Lacey._

"I'm not going to kill you," I shook my head. My voice wasn't as confident as I imagined it coming out. "I promise." That sounded a little better, but Lacey's worried look remained on her pale expression.

"I'm really sorry about what happened," she replied, looking down again. "You know I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know you didn't." I stopped short. The park a few steps ahead. I waved Lacey in after me and planted a seat on a bench. Lacey sat down and hesitated to peel off the glasses.

"Can I ask you something?" Lacey looked up at me and shyly nodded her head. "Why are you so worried about being recognized, or paparazzi?"

"Because I don't want anyone to know I'm here," Lacey admitted through a sigh. She kicked the ground with her converse. She looked up at me and then back at the ground.

"Lacey," I whispered, "I thought you were in New York. Everyone thought you were in New York. John's going crazy, Jess is freaking out. We thought you were dead, or hurt, or having a meltdown somewhere."

Lacey laughed and brushed some hair out of her face. "I was in New York," she clucked her tongue, "I was in New York, working for Jess. John Ohh was in New York too." She choked. I didn't want to interrupt her. "I told him I loved him that I wanted to be with him."

"That's great," I whispered.

"You know what he said?" she looked at me, her eyes were glossy. She sharply exhaled through her nose, "he said." Her voice was shaking. She swallowed hard and I watched as her chin began to quiver. "He said he loved Carolyn. He said he always has."

"Oh Lace," I leaned.

"Oh that's not all," she cried. I backed away and let her finish. She slapped her hands down in her lap and gazed up at the sky. "He knew," she began. "He knew the whole damn time. He knew about Carolyn and Gwen switching right before Gwen died. He knew Carolyn was alive this whole time, and worst of all, he knew Madison was his the whole time."

I tried to think of something to say, but I couldn't. I sat there in shock and watched as Lacey broke down. "What about Justin?" I finally asked, "I thought he was Madison's father."

Lacey shook her head and gazed up at the sky "um um." She tore at a hangnail on her left thumb, "he would have been if Madison was Gwen's daughter. Gwen was never pregnant. Carolyn was the pregnant one and she knew she couldn't be a model if she was pregnant. Gwen went to the shoot for her and got killed for it. John knew and said nothing. John had been sleeping with Carolyn behind my back for years. His own brother won't even talk to him."

"Come here." Lacey fell into me but she refrained from crying. She rested her head on my shoulder and I rubbed her arm. "So that's why you left New York?"

"I couldn't stay there anymore; I moved out here as soon as Antonio and I's marriage was annulled. I got hired at a different modeling agency and I've been doing a few music gigs on the side."

"So that's why Jess didn't know where you were!" I whispered to myself.

"Please don't tell her!" Lacey begged, pulling away from my shoulder. "I don't want her to think I left because I didn't like the agency. I love Jess and I love J^2 but I couldn't stay in New York."

"I won't tell her," I sighed, "Jess wouldn't understand anyway. She still thinks Wiley is going to show up at her door and want her back. I heard he's already got a new girlfriend."

"Oh yeah, me too…" Lacey trailed off, she was hiding something. "So John's really worried about me huh?" Lacey hunched over and stuck the tips of her fingers between her lips.

I reached for my phone: "Yeah, I should probably tell him you're safe…"

"No!" Lacey exclaimed, "John can't know where I am. If John know's he'll tell Jess. I don't want anyone to know where I am, or that you know where I am. You have to promise me you won't say anything to anyone."

"I promise." We locked pinkies and I smiled. "It's really nice to have my best friend back."

"I missed you. We have a lot to talk about and there's something I've been meaning to tell you…"

My phone started going off in my pocket and I whipped it out. "Hey," I answered.

"Hello Wifey," Eric cooed into the phone. Lacey, ignoring the fact that I had a phone up to my ear, continued to ramble.

"Baby, I have to go okay," I said into the phone.

"So tonight, I think we should have a sleepover," Lacey suggested, "you know so we can catch up on things."

I shook my head, "A sleepover sounds great."

"Sleepover?" Eric's voice exclaimed in the background.

"Eric, I really have to go okay."

"The only thing is, is I don't have pajamas," Lacey continued to ramble.

"Oh who needs pajamas anyway?" I laughed.

"WHAT?" Eric exclaimed. "Britta, who are you with?"

"No one baby, I love you, bye!" I hung up and shoved the phone in my pocket. I would call him back later and explain everything…wait. I couldn't explain everything. I had just promised Lacey I wouldn't tell anyone I knew where she was. I couldn't tell Eric, because he'd tell John. John would tell Jess, and she's asume Lacey left because of her. Obviously Lacey didn't want to be found and I coudln't just blow her cover. How was I goign to explain this to Eric. Shit. I'd have to think of a plan later. I shook the thoughts from my head and focused back on Lacey. She had stopped talking and was now staring at the seagulls that were scalping the ground for any scraps of food. Her pursed lips were highly glossed and her trademark crimson hair was a few shades lighter. LA was slowly changing her and I didn't know if I liked it. She was still beautiful though, even more beautiful then I remembered. My mom always said "a women looks her most stunning right after she has felt her worst coming." I guess Lacey's bad times were coming. They were sitting on her shoulders and she had no idea how to get past them. There was no way I could leave her in LA tomorrow. I'd have to stay a few more days. It wouldn't do any harm.

"We should, uh; we should get back to the studio. They guys are gonna get worried." Lacey stood and wrapped her hair up around the nape of her neck. Pulling up her hood she tucked it in and folded up her glasses. Getting up from the bench I gave her a once over and chuckled, "Lacey, you look like a dude."

"Well thanks," she rolled her eyes. We laughed for a second and finally I stepped forward. "Come here." She wrapped me into a hug and I squeezed her tight. "You have no idea how much I needed to run into you," she whispered. She dug her face into my neck and I knew she was trying not to cry. In the distance I heard a snap and soon a flash swept over my side. The fucking paparazzi had followed us to the park! I flipped them off before Lacey could realize she'd just been photographed and led her out of the park. She kept her hood up as we walked and her eyes focused on the ground before her. I tucked my arm around her waist and sighed. "I promise you, everything will be okay."

***

**Eric's POV-**

"WHAT?" I yelled into the phone, "Britta, who are you with?" She was barely talking to me and all I kept hearing was the mentions of a sleepover. Britta was there to record with All Time Low, not have sleepovers. Who would this sleepover be with? Gaskarth? Oh hell no!

"No one, baby. I love you, bye!" And the line went dead. I clicked end and dropped the phone in my lap. Everyone looked at me in anticipation. We were sitting at a booth at Friendly's, waiting for the food to come. Hawke sat happily at the end of the table, oblivious to what was going on.

"So what did she say?" Sam asked. She sat next to Jesse in the booth across from me. Her side salad that came out early sat before her and she picked at the cherry tomatoes. "Eric, what'd she say?"

"She said she couldn't talk and she had to go," I replied. I looked back down at my phone hoping she'd call me back. She'd say "sorry Lovey, I was driving." Or "that was just a joke; I can talk all you want." But the phone never rang.

"Dude, she's probably at the studio recording. She can't really talk while she's singing and writing and stuff," Nick justified, "you know how it is."

"I know," I shook my head. "Jesse, what does uh? What does the website say?"

"Eric, I'm not using the internet to stalk your wife." Jesse plucked his phone off the table and juggled it between his fingers.

"Why not?" I snapped, "everyone else does, she's fucking Britta."

"Eric," Tiffany slapped my arm, "can you hear yourself?"

"She's famous okay!" I exclaimed, "there's got to be something on the internet saying something about her, she's fucking Britta!"

"Yeah Eric," Nick sighed, "she's Britta Halvorsen; your wife, the girl you know better than anyone. She might be famous, but you can't treat her like she's some…celebrity. You of all people should know that Britta hates that. She loves being a mom, and she loves being your wife. You have no reason not to trust her. Just let it go."

"Fine!" I barked, "If you guys aren't going to find out, I will." I picked up my phone and opened the internet. Typing in TMZ in the address bar, my anxiety rose. The screen loaded and a few irrelevant faces sat before me. Nick looked over my shoulder and rolled his eyes, "see! You have nothing to worry about!"

"Oh really!" I exclaimed, as I scrolled down the page. I clicked the link and a picture of Britta hugging someone filled the small screen. Their face was hidden into the crease of her neck, but some light brownish hair stuck out from under the hood. The caption read, _"Britta canoodles with a new mystery man in the park."_

"Whatever dude," Nick reclined back into his seat, "maybe it's a friend."

"A friend that she has sleepovers with?" I shot back.

"Maybe! I don't know Eric; all I know is that you need to trust her. Cut her some slack, I'm sure she misses you just as much as you miss her right now."

**Britta's POV-**

"_Don't tell me you're sorry, when your backs against the wall._

_Baby forget me, cause I'm about to fall._

_I'm falling out…of…love…with youuuuu!"_

Alex and I belted out the lyrics we had began writing once Lacey and I returned to the studio. He scribbled a few more words down and stuck the end of his pen in his mouth. "This is coming out really good," he said into the paper. I didn't know if he was complementing me or not.

"Okay so," Lacey jumped up on the counter in front of me, "I was thinking; tonight before our sleepover we hit The Hideout."

"What's The Hideout?" I asked. I wasn't hip to all the new LA lingo. Living in Arizona you learn three key terms; air conditioning, Chipotle, and music.

"It's a pretty fucking hott club," Lacey smiled, "you can meet some of my new friends. You know from the agency."

"That sounds, uh, great Lace," I forced a smile and returned to the journal I was writing in. Lacey hopped off the counter and sauntered away. Alex looked up quickly, then back at the paper, and back up at Lacey. I watched his eyes and scoffed.

"You know, you can say hello instead of staring at her ass the whole time," I teased. Alex rolled his eyes and bit the end of the pen harder. "She's fucking hott," he finally admitted.

"I wouldn't," I warned him, "her heart is so beyond fucked up."

"Who said anything about hearts? Since when are hearts in vaginas?"

"ALEX!" I yelled, "you fucking pig!"

"I'm kidding!" he threw up his hands in defense, "trust me, I wouldn't go there. I heard about her from…never mind. I just, I wouldn't go there."

"Heard about her from whom?" I asked, now intrigued.

"No one," Alex tossed the notebook down and took off towards the studio doors, "let's go see how Falling out Of Love with You sounds."

"Okay," I huffed and followed him in through the glass doors.

**Lacey's POV-**

I paced out of the mixing room and I knew for sure Alex was staring at my ass. I loved the attention, don't get me wrong, but Alex was not my type. Plus, Britta totally called him anyway. I stepped into the main room and pushed past a group of techys. Jack sat at the table with his feet kicked up on the table, holding a beer, and flipping through the channels on a tiny TV in the corner.

"I don't understand why you guys pay all this money for studio time if all you're gonna do is sit around and pick your ass." I joined Jack at the table and plucked the last beer out of the box. Cracking it open I took a sip and watched as Jack gave me googly eyes from across the table.

"Wanna go make out?" he asked, I wasn't sure if he was kidding or serious. Either way, I declined the offer.

Jack leaned back, lifting the front two legs of the chair off the floor, and folded his arms behind his head. "The only ones who use the studio time at this point in the process are Alex and Britta. Who the fuck needs me?" Jack leaned in, "I don't even know how to play guitar."

I laughed, and thankfully so did Jack. His sense of humor sucked, I reminded myself to tease him later about that.

We sat and watched the TV for a little bit until I decided to make conversation. "So tonight," I began, "Britta and I are going to The Hideout. You guys should come."

"That's a no can do," Jack grunted. "We are on a strict "no clubbing, partying, or streaking" plan with the new record. Why do you think we're drinking now? We have to go back to the hotel and sleep. Management is no joke."

"Well that sucks," I sighed, "some other time then." Jack shrugged and I returned my focus to the TV. Soon "tiK toK" played between us and Jack grabbed Britta's phone off the table. He read the screen and shoved it towards me.

"I can't answer!" I exclaimed, backing away, "no one can know I'm here!"

"Fine then," Jack hit talk and brought the phone up to his ear, "Hellllo. Nope, Britta can't talk right now. She's in the studio." Jack rolled his eyes.

"Remember I'm not here!" I hissed; with my luck he'd be talking to John.

"I don't think she can call you tonight either, she's going clubbing. With who?" Jack looked up at me! I air-sliced my throat and mouthed "not me!"

"Uh," Jack scratched his head, "with Alex. Yupp. Sleepover? Yupp, they're having a sleepover…?" Jack looked at me with confusion in his eyes and tone. "Alright, that's great buddy. Bye." He hung up the phone and placed it back on the table.

I sighed in relief that I hadn't come up in conversation. "Who was that anyway?" I asked.

Jack clicked the screen, "uh, Eric?"

"WHAT!" I exclaimed, "Jack, do you know what you just did?"

"Uhm, no…" he wrinkled his brow.

"Eric is Britta's husband! And you just told him Alex and her were having a sleepover!"

"Well then call him back and say that it's really you and her that are having the sleepover," Jack suggested; like it was that easy.

"Eric can't know I'm in LA!" I growled, "that's why you had to lie and say it was Alex in the first place."

"Well then what do you want to do?" Jack looked at me and took a swig of beer.

"Eric's gonna call back," I formulated a plan. "But he can't talk to Britta, if her phone doesn't work!" I snatched her phone off the table and unhooked the back. I pulled out the battery and slid it in my pocket. "There, problem solved."

**Thanks for reading!! :)**

reviews would be lovely and also really help me expand on the story!!


	13. Your Love is My Drug

**Warning you now, this is a long one!! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"_I'm falling out of love with you…" _Alex and I wrapped the song and I took off my headphones.

"Sounds awesome!" Alex exclaimed, pulling off his as well. "I smell a single."

"Yeah, so do I if I don't call my husband back," I rolled my eyes. "What am I going to say? I can't tell him I'm with Lacey; she wants the world to think she's dead."

"Then don't tell him anything," Alex shrugged, "why does he _have_ to know what you're doing tonight? You don't know what he's doing tonight." I followed Alex out of the studio and into the mixing room. I hit save and marched out into the main room.

Jack and Lacey sat at the table sipping beers and watching TV, while Rian sat on the edge of the couch reading a magazine. The room bustled with managers and studio techs. Alex joined Jack at the table and changed the channel. Lacey didn't seem to notice. She stared into space with an awkward look on her face. She either felt guilty about something or she had to throw up, either one wasn't good.

"Lace, you alright?" I asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She slightly jumped and started fiddling with her bracelet. "I'm fine," she replied.

"Okay…" I rolled my eyes. "I'm gonna call Eric, he's probably tried to call a hundred times by now." I grabbed my phone off the table and hit "talk." The screen remained black. _That's weird. _I tried again but the phone remained unresponsive. "Shit," I cursed under my breath, "I think my phone died."

"Oh well that's a bummer," Lacey flatly retorted.

"Yeah…" I shoved my phone in my pocket. "Well my charger is back at the hotel, if we're not doing anything I'll go back and plug it in." Alex hopped up from the table and pulled his keys out of his jacket. "Let's go."

"Lace, where I am meeting you tonight?" I asked before we left. She looked up at me and bit her lip. "I'll meet you at the hotel; we'll go to The Hideout from there."

"Sounds good," I shook my head and rounded the corner after Alex. We hopped in car and pulled out of the parking lot.

I turned down the music and shifted in my seat: "Alex, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," he replied, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Why do not like Eric?"

Alex cleared his throat and dropped one hand from the wheel, "I don't not like Eric," he smirked, "I just, I've always wanted you to…I just think…" Alex sighed.

"What?"

"I just, I think you'd be happier with someone else."

"Alex, you're a great guy…" I began.

"I'm not talking about me!" Alex exclaimed, "Jesus, Britta! I'm talking about Kennedy! I think you'd be better off with Kennedy."

I scoffed at the thought. "Alex…"

"Don't," he snapped, "I know what you're going to say."

"No you don't!" I shot back.

"Yes I do!" Alex slammed his palm into the steering wheel, "_Kennedy hurt me! Eric was there to save me! I love him, we're married, we have a son. Me and Kennedy are over."_

"And that's all true…" I added.

"It might be true, but you know what else is true? Kennedy is still in love with you, and you're still in love with him. And if you weren't, you wouldn't have left Eric for him when you were 6 months pregnant. If he meant enough to you to leave your marriage, it's obviously not over between you guys. Don't spend the rest of your life regretting."

"I don't regret anything, Alex. I'm not with Kennedy because I'm in love with Eric. I married him because I love him, why does no one understand that!" I exclaimed.

"Just because you married him doesn't mean you're wearing the right ring." Alex turned down a familiar street and I felt my heart beat picking up. We sat in silence for a few seconds until I spotted a tiny restaurant on the corner. Table and chairs sat outside behind a white fence and a flashing "coffee" sing hung in the window.

"Alex stop!" I exclaimed. I reached for the door handle and jumped out as soon as the vehicle was at a full stop.

"Britta what the fuck!" I heard Alex call behind me. He parked and climbed out of the car.

"Why didn't I see this before?" I whispered once Alex was at my side.

"We didn't go down this street before," Alex replied, catching his breath. "What's this place?"

Sliding and shifting between the tables I reached the one on the far end and took a seat. Alex sat across from me and began tapping his foot. "Are you going to explain what we're doing here, or are we just going to sit?"

"Just shut up," I whispered. The sun beat down on my neck and I felt my tear ducts start to burn. Alex noticed my expression and grabbed for my hand. "Hey, you alright?" he asked, rubbing my thumb.

"This was…" my voice cracked, "this was where Kennedy took me out to dinner on our first date." Alex gasped and grasped my hand tighter.

"I was 18," the memory of that night came flooding back. "We sat right here, Kennedy ordered the burger, I got a turkey sandwich. We watched the stars as we ate. We split a strawberry sundae for dessert. He brought me flowers."

"So this place is pretty special to you huh?" Alex asked. He scooted in his chair. "Kennedy's pretty special to you."

"We came here on our third date too," I continued, ignoring Alex's questions. "We kissed that night. Our first kiss. I can still remember how nervous I was." I leaned in, "he whispered 'come here' and I scooted forward." I grabbed Alex's chin. "Our noses were touching and I was afraid to breathe." Alex closed his eyes and I caressed his cheek. "And then I counted to three in my head," I whispered, "and we kissed." Gently nudging my chin, Alex kissed my cheek and leaned back into his seat. My eyes still closed, I remained leaned over the table and brought myself back to that night.

"I miss him, Alex." I finally admitted.

"I know, Britta."

***

**Eric's POV-**

Hours passed by and Britta still hadn't called. I sat in the guest room at Sam and Jesse's house and stared at a part of the wall where the paint was chipping. Nick went out to run a few errands and then he was picking me up later. For now, I had time to do nothing. The guest bedroom was big enough for about eight people, but Hawke and I were the only ones taking up space. The extra room made me feel small. I crawled off the bed and checked up on Hawke in his crib. He was sleeping soundly and I gently rubbed his tummy. He was looking like his mom more than ever. His cute little nose and the freckle on his left ear reminded me of her and I sighed.

I had no reason to not trust her, I was just being paranoid. She'd be here with me in Boston soon enough and I could hold her in my arms and all this dumb drama would be over. Finally breathing, I retired to the computer chair and logged onto to Tumblr. Nothing interesting. Clicking home, AOL came up and a link to TMZ sat in the corner. I contemplated clicking it, and finally gave in. One click wouldn't do any harm.

The page slowly loaded and I leaned back in the chair. Britta would've been so mad if she found out I was "checking up on her" on the internet. She hated being treated like an object. In LA she might have been an "entertainer" but in Arizona she was a normal woman. A normal woman who was my wife and I loved. Guilt washed over me and I moved the mouse to click the X button.

"BRITTA SPOTTED AT THE CORNER CAFÉ! WHAT'S ON HER MENU? SMOOTCHING!" flashed upon the screen and I jumped inside.

"What!" I exclaimed and clicked on the link. A picture of Britta and Alex was tight next to a text box on the screen. Britta's hand was on Alex's cheek and his knuckles were resting under her chin. Their noses were touching, but not their lips. "What the fuck is this!" I read the paragraph to myself and slammed away from the computer. "That's it! I'm done. I'm fucking done!"

Sam came running around the corner and bumped into my shoulder. "Eric why the fuck are you yelling?"

"Go look at the fucking computer!" I yelled, pushing past her. Tiffany sat on the couch with her iPod headphones in, bobbing her head along to the music. She opened her eyes as I entered the room and sprang up.

"What's up?" she asked, motioning for me to sit on the couch.

"Your sisters a whore," I mumbled.

"Excuse me!" Tiffany sat up straighter, "Eric, what the fuck?"

Sam entered the living room and sighed. "Eric, you're reading too far into this. I'm sure nothing happened."

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Tiffany threw up her hands, "what the fuck happened?"

I slumped down on the couch as my hands curled into fists. "I'm going to fucking kill Gaskarth," I hissed. "He is so fucking dead."

"What did he do?" Tiffany demanded. I shot her a look and felt my teeth begin to grind. "He and Britta were photographed sharing a nice little kiss at a restaurant in LA."

Tiffany looked up at Sam for confirmation. She coiled her iPod headphones up and dropped it in her bag. "Eric," she began.

"Save it."

"No Eric listen," Tiffany grabbed my palm, "The tabloids, they can doctor pictures, they make up lies. I'm sure nothing happened. You know Britta wouldn't do that to you."

"Just like she wouldn't kiss Brian, right? Or she wouldn't kiss Kennedy?"

Tiffany retracted at the mention of Kennedy. Sam plopped down in the recliner and cleared her throat.

"Guys I really don't think Britta and Alex did anything," she announced, her voice sounder weaker after each syllable.

"And what makes you so sure?" I exclaimed.

"Because," Sam shook her head, "She wouldn't do anything with Alex, not there."

"What's so special about 'there'?" Tiffany and I looked at each other. She seemed to be in as much confusion as I.

Sam began picking at her nails. "Well you know how Kennedy and I dated for a little while."

"Yes, Sam." I rolled my eyes, "which I may add, was kind of a bitch move…"

"Forget it! This isn't about me," Sam interrupted me, "anyway, Kennedy and I were on a date once and we walked by this place. He said he took his ex there on their first date. I didn't know until later that that ex he was talking about was Britta, but-but I recognized the café in the picture. Kennedy and Britta had that first kiss at that café, there's no way she'd kiss Alex there."

"Picture's don't lie, Sam." I pushed off of the couch and marched back to the guest room. "If she wants to kiss Alex, that's fine, but I'm done."

"Eric, that's not fair!" Tiffany jumped off the couch and stomped over to me, "you don't know what's going on. You can't just end it."

"Fine," I quipped, "She gets one more chance, I won't call her for the rest of the day, but tonight, I'm calling her before I go to bed. If she doesn't answer, I'll know it's really over."

"Whatever," Tiffany sauntered away, "you're an idiot, by the way."

**Britta's POV-**

"Are you sure you can't come in?" I asked Alex while we sat in the parking lot of The Hideout. It was almost 9 and Lacey told me to meet her inside. She said she'd be in the room with the purple curtains, whatever that meant.

After leaving the corner café, Alex brought me back to the hotel where I plugged in my phone and we got to talk. Alex continued to tell me how he wanted me with Kennedy, while I continued to insist Eric was the one. I felt bad I hadn't called Eric yet but it wasn't my fault my phone died. I could've sworn I charged it before I got on the plane though…

"I can't," Alex sighed, "Strict rules, no partying, clubbing or streaking."

"Streaking?" I laughed.

Alex blushed as he tried to think of an excuse, "that one's more for Jack," he finally responded.

"Right…" I winked and hopped out of the car. I began to close the door when Alex leaned over: "Britta!" he called.

"Yeah Alex?"

"If you need me, for anything, call me okay…I'm right at the hotel."

I nodded and shut the door. My heels clacked against the ground as I made my way to the front door. A line of eager partyers stood parallel from the door, but I marched past them and approached the security guard. He stood about 6 foot 5 and was chewing on a thin toothpick. He spotted me and dropped his eyes to my chest. I knew my dress was tight and I probably looked like a baby prostitute, but what else were you supposed to wear to a club?

"Name?" he asked once I stepped up to the red velvet barrier. He looked down at his clip board and then back up at me or my breasts more or less.

"Hey buddy," I sucked my teeth, "eyes are up here." I pointed to my face and raised my right eye brow. He smirked and asked again for my name.

"It's Britta, I'm meeting La…"

"Lacey," he shook his head and pulled back the red velvet rope, "she's been waiting for you."

"Thanks," I smiled and strutted inside. Hundred of faces I didn't know buzzed around me while Justin Timberlake and Timberland bumped through the speakers. Purple curtains caught my attention and I made a B Line for the far right corner of the club.

"Well hello there." A tall, greased up, tool stepped in front of me. "What's your name beautiful?"

"My name is I'm married." I flashed him my ring and kept walking. Guys like that were the reason I was glad I lived in Arizona instead of this armpit of the country. _The worst you had to deal with in Arizona was…well, your band falling apart and marrying the wrong guy._ Wait, what? I stopped walking and pinched my side. I did not just think that. _Alex is getting to you. Just shut up, stop thinking._

Pushing past the purple curtains, I spotted Lacey and called her name. She looked up at me and tapped her friend on the shoulder. Her friend smiled at me as Lacey waved me over. I took a seat and she handed me a drink. I took a slip and flinched. It had a strong minty aftertaste, but was still sort of good. I took another sip and turned towards Lacey and her entourage.

"Britta, this is Melanie," Lacey nudged the shoulder of the blonde sitting next to her. She flashed a toothy grin and held out her dainty hand.

"It's nice to meet you." Her voice was so high pitched my ears were almost ringing. Her whole body was probably the size of my thigh and she had so much glitter plastered across her chest I could have mistaken her for a disco ball.

The lanky girl sitting next to her exhaled her cigarette and turned to me. "Nice to meet you," her French accent took me by surprise. "My names Fallon, I've 'eard such nice things about you. Are you a model too?"

I blushed at the thought, "no, I'm a singer. I could never be a model."

"Oh shut up!" Melanie exclaimed.

"I'm sorry…"

"Mel's just a little forward," Lacey apologized on her behalf. "And guys, Britta's not the model type."

"What's that supposed to mean!" I hopped off the couch and did a few strut and twirls.

"Work it girl!" Fallon cheered.

Lacey joined me on the floor and pulled the curtains back. "Let's give em a show!"

She pulled me up on the table and brushed the strap of my dress down my shoulder. "Lacey what are you doing?" I whispered yelled, "I can't do this!"

"Why not! You dance in front of everybody on stage, pretend you're on tour!"

"Lacey, I'm not a dancer, or a stripper. I'm a mom for god sakes."

"You're in LA, Britta. The last time you were here you got drunk and made out with Brian Dales. I think you of all people know that here is where you can let lose."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes and pulled my strap back up.

"Oh no no!" She tugged the strap down again and handed me my drink. "You need this, trust me!"

I downed the rest of the drink and began dancing along with Lacey. The DJ looked up and noticed our dancing he switched the song and shined a spot light on Lacey and I. She began grinding on my side and I turned and faced her. She flipped her hair in my face and I dropped it low. The crowd cheered as the DJ picked up the mic.

"Well well well, look what we've got here!" Lacey let out a howl and we danced harder.

"Are my eyes deceiving me? Well I do believe that's our superstar Britta right there, and would that happen to be her model friend Lacey Monroe!"

As we danced I started to feel lighter and the colors around me began blending together. I watched as a trail followed my arm as it traveled through the air. The music bumped louder and my heart beat faster. A euphoric feeling set in as Lacey and I stepped off the table.

"I'm a, I'm gonna go get a drink of water. I'm really thirsty for some reason. Do you want something from the bar?" Lacey declined the offer and I took off down the steps. As I reached the crowd a group of guys whistled at me and I flipped them off. One of them called my name and I turned around to confront them. The leader of the group stepped forward and I gasped as I recognized his face. Kennedy! I ran over and pulled him into a hug. As I stepped back his face molded into another, he smiled and tugged on my dress. "Well, hello. You're awful friendly."

"I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," I turned to leave.

"I can be anyone you want me to be honey." The group chuckled and exchanged a few high-fives.

"Trust me," I hissed, "you can't."

**Lacey's POV-**

I grabbed Britta's purse off the table and quickly swiped her phone. Sliding the battery back in, I delicately placed it back in her purse and zipped it up tight. She'd never know.

Fallon leaned over and tapped my shoulder, "your friend is very beautiful; why doesn't she model?"

"Britta? She's a singer. This life isn't for her. She has a husband and a baby. She wants that life," I explained.

"No one _wants_ that life Lacey," Fallon rolled her eyes, "who would want that?"

"I would," I whispered.

"So you're telling me you'd rather be married and a mother right now instead of the life you have?" Fallon scoffed, "good joke."

"I never wanted to be a model," I admitted, "I didn't want this life, it just happened. Britta's lucky she can have a normal life."

"No one ever said you couldn't 'ave a normal life Lacey," Fallon replied, "you don't 'ave to be a model."

I shook my head, "I tried that once. You know I dated the same guy from the time I was 12 till I was 16."

"What happened when you were 16?" Fallon asked, taking another puff from her cigarette.

"I fell in love." I whispered.

"If you were in love Lacey, why are you here?"

"Because I'm an idiot."

**Britta's POV-**

Climbing the steps to the purple curtain room I finished my water. I hadn't realized I'd drank that much just walking back from the bar. Why the hell was I so thirsty? I reached the top of the steps and the room felt as if it was spinning. Stumbling over to the couch I grabbed my purse and tucked it in my lap.

"Lacey," I whined, "why do I feel like this?"

"What are you talking about?" she giggled.

"I think I'm hallucinating." I dropped my head back and stared at the ceiling. It felt like it was dropping closer to me every few seconds.

"Oh that's just the E baby," Melanie tapped my knee, "you'll feel fine soon."

"Just the what?!" I sprang up but soon fell back on the couch. "You-you gave me ecstasy!"

"It was in your drink baby," Melanie giggled, "we all took some. Don't worry; we only gave you a little. We know you're not hard core yet."

"You spiked my fucking drink!" I screamed.

"Honey calm down!" Fallon soothed, "it's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal! Fallon I do not do drugs! Lacey!" She was fiddling with her dress, "Lacey! You drugged me!"

"I didn't think you'd care, we were clubbing. It's what we do…"

"No Lacey, it's what you do! Not what I do. I can't believe you'd fucking drug me!" I flew off the couch and marched towards the door, "this night is over, forget the sleepover. Don't talk to me."

Descending the stairs I pried my phone out of my purse and dialed in Alex's number. Thank God I charged it back at the hotel.

Alex answered and the CSI: Miami theme song played in the background. At least I hadn't woken him up. I explained to him the situation and asked if he could come get me. The sound of jingling keys replaced CSI and Alex said he'd be there in less than 5. I thanked him and hung up.

Pushing past the crowd, I stepped outside and waited for Alex. Looking down the street you could see the lights for the apartment building I'd stayed at the years before. Scaling the building I found the deck to my apartment and looked to see if maybe anyone was living there. No lights were visibly on, but who knew. I missed that place.

Alex's Explorer pulled up in front of the club and I stepped away from leaning on the wall. Alex jumped out and ran to me. "Are you okay?" he exclaimed.

"I'm fine, I just-I want to lie down."

Alex grabbed my hand and led me to the truck. Cameras flashed everywhere but I didn't care. I was safe and that's what mattered. Stumbling into the car, Alex strapped my seatbelt for me and kissed my hand. "You're gonna be okay, I promise."

We took off down the street and reached the hotel in what felt like seconds. My legs felt numb so Alex carried me to my room. He shaded his eyes as I changed and made sure I was okay before I lay down. He started heading for the door but I called for him.

"Alex, wait! Stay with me, please." He exhaled sharply through his nose and soon agreed. He climbed in bed next to me but stayed above the covers.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked, turning off the light.

"I'm okay. Just don't leave me…" I grabbed his arm and fell asleep to his warmth.

***

My head was pounding as the sound of my ringtone blared in the distance. I wasn't fully awake and my limbs wouldn't move. I heard Alex grab the phone and mumble a hello. My eye lids were too heavy to open so I simply listened. The conversation was going in and out but I picked up some parts before falling back asleep.

"Britta can't talk right now, she's asleep." Alex groggily explained to the caller.

"She's right here! Next to me. Asleep. She cannot talk."

"I am also trying to sleep."

"Oh okay. Goodnight. Goodbye now." Alex hung up and I drifted back asleep.

**Thanks for reading!! :)**


	14. What'll You Have, Chandler?

****

There's trouble in paradise...what's gonna happen? ;) Enjoy!! :)

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**Eric's POV-**

The hours passed and eventually the day turned to night. Ever since Alex answered Britta's phone I hadn't been able to sleep. Just thought of them sleeping together made me sick. I couldn't believe she'd cheat on me. My head pounded as I dug deeper under the covers and slammed the pillow over my head. I'd barely left the room all day. There was no one I wanted to talk to. Nick tried to call me a few times and Sam and Tiffany cracked the door open periodically, but I had nothing to say. They didn't know what Britta did, but they'd find out eventually. She could tell them herself.

Finally drifting in and out of sleep, I closed my eyes and pretended everything was fine. I'd wake up tomorrow and it'd all be a dream. Yeah, that was it. I had caught Britta's night terrors and this was all a dream. Oh who was I kidding, you can't catch night terrors.

A rage of anger sent down my body and I threw the pillow against at the door. The pillow dropped to the floor and the door slightly shook. Hawke slightly whined and I craned my neck to see if he was okay. I might not have my wife, but I at least still had my son. No one could take that away from me.

Soon the door cracked open and Tiffany stuck her head in. "Eric…"

"What?" I barked, not bothering to lift my head from the mattress.

"Are you going to leave this room at all today?" she asked. She stepped in and closed the door. I rolled my eyes behind my closed lids and sighed. "No, I'm not."

"Eric, you've been sitting in here all day, you need to get some fresh air," Tiffany replied.

"Fuck fresh air," I retorted, "fuck everything."

"Okay emo boy," Tiffany nudged my shoulder, "what is going on?"

"Nothing is going on! I just don't want fucking company…"

"Company? Eric, news flash you're in MY house."

"This is Sam's house," I corrected her.

Tiffany chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed, "dumbass, I live here too."

"Whatever," I grumbled.

"Seriously though, what bit you in the ass?" she asked, tapping my back.

"Just go. The Fuck. Away!"

"Fine, whatever Eric!" Tiffany hopped off the bed, "you might want to hide in your room all day, but your son doesn't. I'm taking him out. I'll call you, maybe."

"Whatever!" I shouted. Plucking Hawke out of his crib, Tiffany grabbed his diaper bag and headed for the door. "And by the way Eric, Britta would never do anything to hurt if this is what this is about. She loves you a lot. I'm her sister, I know these things. Have a little faith in her."

"Tiffany, just leave."

She closed the door and I punched the mattress. Well, now I didn't even have my son.

**Britta's POV-**

My head and my heart were pounding at the same speed as I awoke in the hotel room. Alex lay next to me, peacefully sleeping above the covers. I turned on my side and gently rubbed his shoulder. His eyes batted awake and as he realized where he was he shot up.

"You uh, you alright?" he asked me. He lifted his arms into a stretch and yawned. Falling back down against the bed, we lay face to face and I tried to speak. My throat burned but I managed an "I'm okay." Alex nodded and slowly began to close his eyes again.

"Alex…" I faintly called.

"Um, yeah." He replied, his eyes still tightly shut.

"Than…" My esophagus bubbled and I shot up and raced to the garbage can. Burning liquid poured out of me as I tried to breathe. Alex ran to the bathroom and wet a washcloth. Laying his hand on my back, Alex pulled my hair back and handed me the cloth.

"We should get you checked out okay?" He brought me my shoes and grabbed his keys off the table. We made our way to the lobby and out to the parking lot. I slumped into Alex's car and watched as the world began to spin. I thought sleep would help the drug wear off, but I guess not.

Alex raced me to the hospital and helped me through the revolving doors. It wasn't long until I was in to see the doctor and he introduced himself as "Dr. McKenzie."

"Good morning Britta," he held out his hand and I limply shook it. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't feel anything," I replied, drawing my hand back and letting it slump to my side.

"She went to a club last night," Alex explained, "I think someone slipped something in her drink. She hasn't been feeling well since about 11 last night. That's when she called me at least."

"Thank you," Dr. McKenzie shook his head, "and you are her husband?"

"No, just a friend," Alex corrected him, "her husband's in Boston."

The thought of Eric made my head pound harder. I didn't even want to imagine what he was thinking right now. Alex had answered my phone last night and told him I was sleeping next to him. Just fucking great. He was probably freaking out. Whatever, I'd call him later and explain everything. He had no reason to not trust me, I hoped he knew that.

"Well," Dr McKenzie looked down at my chart, "We'll test you for anything that could be in your system, but I have to ask a few questions first."

"That's fine," I replied, struggling to keep my eyes open.

"Have you been under the influence of any drugs, other than the one that was potentially put in your drink last night, lately?"

"No, no way. I don't do drugs."

"Good, good" he nodded and scribbled something down.

"How about alcohol?"

"I gave up drinking a little while ago," I explained, "Yesterday was the first time I drank since I turned 21."

"And when was that?" the doctor asked.

"July 3rd," I replied.

"Okay," he tucked his clipboard under his arm, "Now Britta, is there any chance you're pregnant?"

I laughed at the thought, "no doctor. See I don't know if you heard me right, I'm married. Married people don't have sex."

Dr. McKenzie chuckled and turned for the door, "Alright, I'll be back to give you your test. Hang tight until then."

Alex slid up on the table next to me and grabbed my hand. "You're gonna be alright." He sighed and adjusted his sweat pants.

"You didn't have to do this," I replied, "you didn't have to take care of me."

"That's what I'm here for," Alex laughed, "today it's drugs, tomorrow it's your husband."

I rolled my eyes and hopped off the table, "Be quiet about my husband. I'm going pee. Don't come in unless I'm screaming."

"But what if you fall and hit your head and therefore cannot scream?" Alex smirked.

"Still, don't come in."

"Fine, I'll just let you die then."

"Maybe you will!" I stuck my tongue out and slammed the door. Today was going to be a long day, I could tell.

**Eric's POV-**

Hawke was gone and time was wasting away. It wasn't fair that I had to sit in this dumb room and sulk while Britta was out having the time of her life. She was probably at some fancy restaurant right now, drinking with Alex, kissing Alex…fuck them both. I climbed out of bed and stomped over to the closet. Pulling out a shirt and a crumpled pair of jeans on the floor, I threw them on and left the room. If Britta was going to go out and have fun, so was I.

"I'm taking your car." I grabbed Jesse's keys off the counter and took off for the door.

"Okay…?" Jesse replied before I shut the door behind me. The September weather hit me in the face as I marched down the steps. Clicking unlock on the remote, I hopped in Jesse's Honda and backed out of the driveway.

Nick had taken me to this bar on 25th street that served beer ice cold and wings spicy hott. I had a few bucks to blow. I figured I go and have a drink to ease my nerves a little. Britta and I had kinda given up drinking, but Britta wasn't here. She obviously stopped caring about me, so I stopped caring about her.

The bar was the only fluorescent light on the street and I pulled in and parked. The car beeped as I hot unlock and jogged for the door. I hated the cold; I wanted to go back to Arizona where it was probably 75 degrees right now. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. A few obvious regulars gave me a glance as I stepped up to the bar and ordered a drink. The tender sauntered away and I watched as her hips swiveled. She bent over to get my glass and her shirt puckered up revealing a tramp stamp of a tiger crawling up her back. She returned to my side of the bar and ran the tab.

"You new in town?" she asked, "never seen you around here before."

"I guess you could say that," I replied.

"Where you from?" she asked, pouring herself a shot.

"Arizona," I replied.

"My best, well, ex-best friend moved to Arizona a few years ago, heard it's a nice place."

"Yeah it's pretty nice," I agreed, "why are they your ex-best friend?"

"High school shit…" she rolled her eyes, "she was going off to college and was planning to break up with her boyfriend. I made it a little easier is all…"

"You slept with him?" I asked, taking a long sip.

"Maybe…" she winked, "but anyway, that's old news. So where you from in Arizona?"

"Chandler, born and raised." I replied.

"Alright, Chandler. What brought you to Boston?"

"My friend Nick lives here and my uh…just friends of friends."

"Sounds fun," she bit her bottom lip and widened her eyes, "so Chandler, why are you in my bar?"

"I have to have a reason to be here?" I asked, a smile creeping across my face.

"Well, let's see. You're alone, drinking a Miller Lite, wearing jeans you obviously wore yesterday, and trying to hide the fact that you're wearing a ring."

I looked down at my left hand and pulled it from under my other my right. How did she know I was wearing a ring? I wasn't _trying_ to hide it…was I?

"My wife, she left me last year. I uh, haven't had the heart to take it off yet."

"Aw, I'm sorry Chandler. Why'd she leave ya?"

"She realized she was gay, left me for a chick."

"Well," she chuckled, "at least you were the last man to satisfy her…"

"Oh that makes it so much better…"

The giggled and grabbed my hand, "I'm not really good at this, but uh, I'm just saying…you should probably take off the ring buddy. You're far too cute to be walking around fooling girls into thinking you're married."

"Fine," I sighed. I pulled the ring off and dropped it into her empty shot glass. "Happy?"

"Very much so," she smirked and turned away from the bar. My heart sank as I watched her walk away with my ring. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and quickly pulled it out. Britta was calling. She wanted to talk now! I called her four times yesterday and she never wanted to talk. It was too late now, love. Sorry! I hit ignore and shoved the phone back into my pocket.

I yo-yoed my drink between my hands as the tender returned to my side of the bar. "I uh, never got your name" I reminded her.

"Oh right," she giggled, "Name's Leanne."

"Well it's nice to meet you Leanne," I stuck out my hand, "it's been nice getting to know you."

"You barely know anything about me," she chuckled.

I blushed as she leaned over the bar, "stick around here for about another 45 minutes and you can really get to know me." She winkled and strutted away from the bar.

"Uh, Leanne!" I called after her, "another beer please."

"Whatever you want, Chandler."

**Britta's POV-**

Dr. McKenzie returned to the room with my chart in his hand and sighed.

"Dr," I lightly emitted, "you look like something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," he shook his head, "you came back positive for MDMA which is the common chemical in Ecstasy."

Well thanks Doc, I already knew that.

"Oh my god," I fake gasped, "someone must have slipped it in my drink!"

"Well thankfully, it was a very low dose and you should be fine."

"That's great!" I exclaimed, hopping off the table, "you know what Doc; I feel better already!"

"Britta, you may want to sit back down," he replied, his face completely serious.

He sat down on the stool and placed the clip board back on the counter. I hopped back on the bed and smoothed out my gown. "Doctor, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," he sighed, "you're perfectly fine, but…"

"No, no. No buts…buts are never good."

"Well, I hope this but is good," Dr. McKenzie replied.

"What do you mean, you just said 'everything's fine but…' everything's fine but…means, everything's fine but you have cancer or everything's fine but your arms going to fall off."

"Britta," the doctor chuckled, "you don't have cancer and your arms are perfectly fine."

"Then what's the but!" I exclaimed.

"Britta," the doctor looked up at me with his shining blue eyes, "you're pregnant."

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**OH MY FUCK. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	15. LEANne On Me

**Chapter 15...what's going to happen? ;)**

* * *

"What?" I gasped, "I'm pregnant?"

"You're about 5 weeks along," Dr. McKenzie explained. "We're going to have to perform and ultrasound to see if everything's okay in there."

"That's fine," I nodded and hopped off the bed, "how did this happen?"

Dr. McKenzie arose from his stool and lightly gripped my shoulder. "Do you want to call your husband before you go for your ultrasound?"

I looked back at Alex who was holding my phone. He smiled at me but soon dropped his eyes to the floor. After clearing his throat he unlocked my phone and punched in a few numbers. "You go, I'll call Eric. Tell me how everything goes."

"Thank you," I whispered as I followed Dr. McKenzie out of the room. The door shut behind me and I collapsed onto it.

"You okay?" the doctor asked. He waved a nurse over who brought me a wheel chair. I took a seat and was relieved my bare feet didn't have to touch the chilly ground anymore.

"I'm fine," I lied. I was far from fine. Being pregnant was supposed to be exciting, but I just couldn't…I couldn't find it in myself to be happy about it. Eric and I both discussed waiting to have another child. Now just wasn't the right time.

The nurse pushed me down the hall behind Dr. McKenzie and soon we turned to the maternity ward. We entered a room and the doctor instructed me to get up on the bed. I hopped up and he prepared the ultra sound machine. The nurse squeezed some of the gel on my belly and I shivered. It was almost as cold as the floor.

Dr. McKenzie rubbed the gel around with the viewer and my insides came up on the screen.

"There's not going to be a heartbeat yet because your baby hasn't fully developed, but there will be something we can see, well hopefully."

"Okay," was all I could respond. My nerves were causing my whole body to feel as if I was lying on a bed on pins and needles. I wondered if Alex ever got a hold of Eric. I wondered how he's react. Would he be as scared as I was? I hope not, one of us had to be strong. Strong enough for the both of us.

"Nurse Lynn," Dr. McKenzie waved over the blond nurse in the corner. "Could you uh, could you pick this up for me. I need to watch the screen more precisely. I uh, I think…"

"No problem doctor," Nurse Lynn picked up the viewer and began running it across my stomach. Dr. McKenzie stared at the screen as he rubbed his chin. I could tell by his "hms" and "hahs" that something was wrong.

I adjusted my shirt and Nurse Lynn noticed my ring, and my nerves. "Is this your first baby?" she asked.

"Second," I replied, "I had my first last August, a boy named Hawke."

"Oh how cute," Nurse Lynn smiled, "I like that name. I have a son too, his name's Cameron."

I smiled and looked over at the doctor. Worry set across his face and shut off the monitor. Nurse Lynn stopped rubbing the viewer on my stomach and grabbed me a few paper towels to take off the gel.

"Britta," the doctor grabbed my hand and I flinched, "Nurse Lynn is going to take you back to your room. I'm going to review the ultrasound and let you know. Okay?"

"Okay," I shook my head. He turned to leave and I gripped his hand tighter, "Doctor, if there was anything wrong you'd tell me right?"

"I will tell you everything I know as soon as I know it." He let go of my hand and left the room. Nurse Lynn helped me off the bed and I plopped down into the wheelchair.

"Don't be scared," she said before we left the room, "everything is unpredictable, and not even Dr. McKenzie knows everything. Just breathe."

"I'm breathing," I replied, "that's pretty much all I can do right now."

**Eric's POV-**

I waited in that same bar seat for the next 45 minutes for Leanne's shift to end. As the bar cleared out, so did my thoughts. Leanne brought me a few more drinks and I downed them as I watched the Lakers game on TV. The last customer left and Leanne threw her tending apron under the counter. She plucked her purse from the back room and met me at the counter.

"So Chandler," Leanne leaned in front me, "your place or mine?"

"I uh, I'm staying at a friend's house," I replied, a little embarrassed.

"Well, we could go to my place, but I uh…have company."

"So my place it is…" I hopped off the stool and waited for Leanne to come from around the bar. She was shorter than the bar had played her out to be. Then I remembered the floor was probably lifted behind the counter. And I was sitting; she had no idea how tall I was. Her face barley reached my chest.

A large mirror on the wall sat behind us and I looked up at the reflection of the back of her head, and my conflicted expression. Soon the image of her faded into Britta and mine melted into Alex's. I watched as her pulled her into a kiss and winked at me as she kissed down his neck. I slammed my hand against the bar and the reflection faded back to Leanne and me.

"Whoa Chandler, you alright?" Leanne asked, caressing my arm.

"I'm fine, let's just get out of here."

"Fine…" Leanne replied, grabbing her keys out of her purse. She locked up the bar and we headed towards Jesse's car.

"Keys!" she wiggled her fingers.

"I can drive!" I exclaimed.

"Chandler, my bar, my rules. You drink, your ass isn't driving."

Giving in, I tossed her the keys and slid into the passenger side. Whatever. Who cares if she was the one driving?

"Where am I going?" she asked.

"19 Rowland Ave, I'll tell you when we're…"

"I know how to get to Rowland Ave," she interrupted me.

"Okay then…"

"So Chandler," she rubbed my knee, "have you ever picked up a girl at a bar before?"

"No." I shortly replied.

"Well then, where do you usually pick up girls?" she giggled.

I thought back to the day I met Britta at John's house. I knew from the moment I met her that I was going to love her, but she was still with Kennedy at the time. We didn't officially become anything until the next July. I hadn't picked her up, she came to me.

"I don't really pick up girls," I finally replied, "it's been hard, you know losing my wife."

"I understand," Leanne rubbed a little farther up my knee, "but whatever, you don't need her. She's like, with a chick right now."

"Yeah, you could say that."

**Britta's POV-**

I sat patiently in the room as Alex watched some dumb soap opera on TV. I hadn't asked him if Eric picked up. He probably wouldn't since what happened last night. Whatever. I was pregnant there's no way he could ignore that.

The door cracked open and Dr. McKenzie stepped in followed by Nurse Lynn. His lips were pursed together and the lines around his eyes were more prominent than before. Nurse Lynn looked upset, but as she noticed my glance she perked up.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I feel fine, doctor what's wrong? Is there something wrong with the baby? Is there something wrong with me?"

Dr. McKenzie sighed and pulled the stool closer to the table I sat upon. He lightly touched my hand and parted his lips.

"Britta," he lightly soothed, "I reviewed your ultrasound and it's…it's not…"

"What?" I pleaded, "please just tell me. I can handle it I promise."

Nurse Lynn covered her mouth as she tried to stop herself from choking up as well. Alex lifted out of the chair and climbed up on the table next to me. He lightly grabbed my hand and rubbed my thumb just the way he had last night.

"There was nothing on the ultrasound because there's nothing in your uterus," Dr. McKenzie explained.

"If there's nothing in there then how am I pregnant?" I asked. I could feel the back of my throat beginning to itch. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want anyone's sympathy; I just wanted to know what was wrong with me.

"I don't know if you're familiar with the term, but your case is called an ectopic pregnancy. That's when the egg is fertilized outside of the womb, most commonly the fallopian tubes."

"What does that mean? Can you just move it? Please, tell me my baby will be okay…"

"I'm so sorry," Dr. McKenzie pushed the stool back to the wall and swallowed hard. "I am truly sorry, there's nothing I can do."

That was it, the tears came pouring down. Alex held me as I shook with sobs. Nurse Lynn came over and rubbed my back. "It's gonna be okay," she whispered, "it's gonna be okay."

"So what am I going to do?" I exclaimed, "my baby's just going to die?"

"We'll have to perform an emergency treatment…"

"An abortion," I corrected him.

"Yes, if that's what you'd prefer to call it. You're not too far along so thankfully you don't need surgery, but I'm going to have to inject some methotrexate, which will stop the growth of the embryo."

Methotrexate. Ectopic. Abortion. I couldn't take it anymore. What had I done to deserve this? What had my son or daughter done to deserve this? It wasn't fair. Finally I looked up at the doctor and studied his exasperated expression.

"Fine," I whispered, "take it out. Take it out so I can go home."

"I promise you, everything will be fine. You'll be back on your feet by tomorrow and this doesn't mean you can't have more children in the future. You're perfectly healthy. This is just a freak occurrence."

"I understand, just please. Take it out, so I can leave."

"I'll set you up for an injection as soon as possible. For now why don't you try and rest okay?"

Dr. McKenzie came over and rubbed my knee, "I'm terribly sorry about all this, if there was anything else I could possibly do, please let me know."

"There's nothing you can do to save my baby?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, no there isn't," he sadly replied.

"Then no doctor, there isn't anything you can do for me."

Dr. McKenzie shook his head and turned to leave. "Britta," he called before opening the door, "I suggest you call your husband and let him know what's going on. He should know."

**Eric's POV-**

"Shhh" Leanne plastered her finger to her lips between her erupting giggles. We stood outside of Sam and Jesse's house and I attempted to turn the knob quietly. We stepped inside and the entire house was still. No one sat in the living room or the dining room, all the lights were off, and Tiffany's door was tightly shut. I looked behind me to see Wiley's Jetta parked in front of the house; well I knew what they were doing. But where was my son?

Leanne dragged me to the guest room and pushed the door open. I stumbled inside and noticed Hawke's crib was missing. Tiffany must've taken him for the night. Or he was up in Sam and Jesse's room.

Before I could think of Hawke again, Leanne was tugging at my jacket. She pulled it off and tossed it on the floor. I ran my hands down her back and she lightly kissed my neck. Fumbling towards the bed, Leanne kicked her shoes off and I slipped out of mine. We fell backwards on the pillow-top mattress cover and Leanne dragged her hands up my back.

"You're a naughty boy Chandler," she cooed as I tore off her shirt. My stomach gurgled from all the beer on an empty stomach. Leanne unclipped her bra and tossed it on the floor. Reached to tug off my shirt but she grabbed my hands and did it herself. She kissed down my chest and soon unbuckled my belt.

I kissed her forehead and instantly regretted it. Britta loved it when I kissed her forehead. She'd always giggle and form that little smile when only one of her dimples appeared. Her laugh filled my ears and the scent of her Midnight Pomegranate perfume was soon wafting around my nostrils. Guilt was driving me insane, but I couldn't back out now. Britta didn't back out when Alex undressed her. Britta. Britta. Get out of my head!

"Leanne," I mumbled, "maybe we…"

"Don't worry Chandler; I'm not going to hurt you." She tossed me down on my side of the bed and pulled down my jeans. It wasn't me I was worried about getting hurt.

**Sam's POV-**

The sun broke through the blinds as I awoke. I hoped the weather would be nice today; maybe Hawke and I could go for a walk in the park. That sounded fun. Jesse lay next to me, peacefully sleeping. I kissed the tip of his nose and slid out of bed. Hawke's crib, which Wiley and Jesse had carried upstairs to my room last night, sat in the corner and Hawke lay sleeping. I chuckled as I noticed Hawke's tiny thumb stuck in his mouth. Britta sucked her thumb when she was little too. How cute.

My nose was starting to feel stuffy so I shuffled over to the bathroom and pulled out the bottle of Afrin. Inhaling a few drops I placed it back in the cabinet and flipped my hair in the mirror. The small dish on the side of sink clinked as I turned on the water and nudged it with my wrist. I picked up my ring and slipped it on my finger. With all this chaos I hadn't had the chance to tell anyone that Jesse had proposed. It would have been such an amazing surprise, but Britta never came to Boston. I guess the news would have to wait.

Closing the door behind me I stepped back into our room and padded over to the door. The hardwood floor chilled my feet and quickly paced to the carpeted staircase. I raced down the steps and passed Tiffany's door. Wiley had slept over last night and I figured they'd be pretty…tied up. I kept walking and approached the guest bedroom. The door was tightly shut but something stuck out of the bottom crease. I picked it up and examined the piece of clothing. It was a black and white Sublime baseball tee. Eric wasn't wearing that yesterday. I checked the tag. Woman's small. WHAT? A vibrating sound buzzed from under the door and I craned my neck to see. Eric's phone lay on the ground spinning in circles as it rang. I sprang up from the floor and pushed the door open. Eric lay in bed with someone. I gasped as her arm slipped off her face and I realized who she was. I grabbed Eric's phone and ran out of the room.

"Holy shit!" I gasped as I collapsed onto the couch. "I-I-I have to call Jen. Holy shit!"

Tossing Eric's phone on the coffee table I grabbed the house phone and punched in Jen's number. "Holy shit, holy shit. Holy shit" I repeated over and over until Jen picked up.

"Sam," Jen groaned, "I don't know if you realize this, but here in Arizona it is 6:12 AM…."

"Jen!" I interrupted her, "you're never going to believe this."

"What?" she asked.

"Remember Leanne?" I anticipated her answer.

"Leanne from back home? The one that…"

"The one that slept with Wiley the day before he and Britta broke up," I finished her sentence.

"Yeah, what about her?" Jen groggily replied.

"She's in my house right now," I whispered, "she-she slept with Eric."

"WHAT?" Jen exclaimed, "Sam, if this is a joke this is not funny!"

"I'm serious," I urged, "I went in his room and she was lying in bed next to Eric, wearing his shirt."

"Holy shit," Jen breathed, "how…how are we gonna tell Britta?"

"Jen," I whispered, "how are we going to tell Britta?"

**thanks for reading :)**


	16. Reunion in room M13

**Sorry I left you all hanging! Here's chapter 16 :)**

* * *

**6 days, 4 hours, and 23 minutes later…**

It took two days for the injection to come in and three days in recovery after I had an allergic reaction to the injection. But after everything, my baby was gone. And I hadn't talked to Eric in a week. I lay in the hospital bed patiently waiting for someone to tell me I could go home. Alex stayed with me most of the time, but they were falling behind on recording and wasting studio time. I felt bad Alex and I never got to finish our song, but I didn't know I was pregnant. No one knew, and no one knew especially it was going to be so tragic.

Flipping through the channels I heard the door crack and I craned my neck and watched as Alex stepped in the room. He carried a bag with Panera written on the side and gripped an icy lemonade in his right hand.

"Thank you!" I gushed, "I've been so sick of this hospital food."

"No problem." Alex handed me the bag and I ripped it open. I lay the ham sandwich out on my lap and pried open the bag of chips. I shoveled a few in my mouth and licked the salt off my fingers. I hadn't had Panera in so long; it was almost like having it for the first time again.

"So how's everything?" Alex asked, "you feeling better?"

"Yeah," I shook my head as I bit into the juicy red apple, "I'm feeling a lot better, like ready to record better."

"Britta, you are not recording after this. You need to go home and heal," Alex rubbed his forehead, "this-this is a big thing, it's gonna mess with you emotionally and physically. You just, you gotta take it easy alright."

"Thank you for being worried about me, Alex, but I'm fine," I assured him, "really, I'm okay. I'm not achy anymore, or itchy. I'm ready to get back in the studio."

Alex sighed and crossed his left leg over his right. "You being okay is a hundred times more important than this dumb record, you're not recording. You're going home and resting."

"Fine Alex," I grumbled, "you're lucky you brought me Panera…or else I'd be kicking your ass right now."

"Oh don't worry, you're still going to be kicking my ass," Alex replied.

"What, Alex…what did you do?" I dropped the sandwich in my lap.

"Someone's here to see you," Alex looked the door as it creaked open.

**Sam's POV-**

Jen gripped the wheel tightly as we changed into the fast lane on the freeway. We were headed to La to see Britta after we found out she was in the hospital. Jen and I talked about the Leanne thing and decided that we couldn't tell her over the phone; we had to tell her in person, so we'd be there for support too. But the closer we got to LA, the more nervous I became.

"Jen, maybe we shouldn't do this." I bit my lip and slipped my shoes on and off.

"Oh Sam, we talked about this, everything's gonna be fine." Jen took the next exit and merged onto the LA freeway. The infamous traffic was living up to its reputation.

"But, she's going to be so crushed. This is Eric were talking about, the love of her life. She's gonna be heartbroken."

"Yeah she is, and it sucks, but we can't not tell her," Jen justified.

"Well we can't not not tell her," I suggested, "we can let Eric tell her."

"Sam, you did not fly all the way to Arizona, and I drive all the way to LA for us to not tell her," Jen argued.

"Ugh," I groaned, "this is all my fault."

"How on earth is this your fault?" Jen exclaimed, "Eric's the one who cheated on her. You didn't tell him to sleep with Leanne."

"But I did tell him about that dumb pact at her bachelorette party," I admitted. "that's why Eric thought Britta was cheating on him with Alex."

"Wait what?" Jen eased on the breaks and the traffic began to slow again, "you told him about that stupid pact thing?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't have. That's why he doesn't trust her around Alex; I told Eric that Alex was Britta's guy" I replied.

"Sam, how fucking drunk were you at that party?" Jen yelled.

"What the hell, we all were drunk, well except Britta…why?"

"Oh my god Sam," Jen slammed her palm into her forehead, "I can't believe you told Eric Britta's guy was Alex."

"Britta's guy _was_ Alex..." I replied, confused.

"No Sam," Jen sighed, "_Lacey's_ guy was Alex Gaskarth. Britta agreed with her and said he was sexy. She said she used to have a crush on him…but he wasn't her guy."

"Oh god," I slumped my head back into the headrest. What had I done?

"So now you've got Eric thinking Britta's cheating with the wrong guy!" Jen retorted.

"This is all my fault." I glanced out the window and sun shot rays onto the hoods of cars. The light reflected into my eyes and I had to shade my forehead. I couldn't believe Alex wasn't Britta's guy. I could've sworn that's what she said. But Lacey had said Alex, which was right. I must've thought it was Britta because she had agreed with her.

"But Jen wait," I burst out.

"What?" Jen asked as she dangerously changed lanes.

"If Alex wasn't Britta's guy…who was?"

**Britta's POV-**

The door pushed open and a familiar face popped in.

"Kennedy!" I exclaimed, "how did you know…"

"I called him," Alex admitted. He hopped out of the seat next to my bed and waved Kennedy over.

Kennedy sat down next to me and handed me a small teddy bear holding a card. Alex retired to the loveseat on the other side of the room and I awkwardly took a bite of my sandwich.

"I'm really sorry this happened." Kennedy sighed and sat back in the chair. "You must've been so scared."

"More like numb," I replied, before swallowing a big chunk of bread. "I just, I can't feel anything anymore."

"What did they do to you?" Kennedy leaned forward and grabbed my hand. We both looked down at our intertwining fingers and didn't say a word. The warmth of his freshly out of the California sun hands generated onto mine and the room felt as if it had raised 30 degrees in temperature.

"So uh, have you talked to Eric?" Kennedy asked, still holding onto my hand.

"I've tried to call him a few times, but he still hasn't picked up," I replied, "I don't even know if he knows about the pregnancy."

Kennedy cleared his throat as Alex's phone began to ring. The awkwardness in the room was beginning to fade, but I was still slightly uncomfortable, and angry that Alex had called Kennedy without telling me. I understood that Alex wanted me to be happy and blah blah blah, but I would have much rather be talking with my husband about what happened, instead of my two time ex who was still in love with me. The thought of Kennedy and I together popped into my head and the first thing thought of was the dreams I was having.

"Kennedy, want to hear something funny?" I asked him.

"Sure," he replied.

I explained to him about the dreams, everything from "waking up" in Gloria's office to sleeping with him in Paris. Kennedy laughed as I told him the funny parts, and bit his lip as I explained to him the serious ones.

"So what do you think the dreams were trying to tell you?" he asked once I was done explaining.

I didn't want to tell him what I really thought; that the dreams were telling me that I didn't really love him still. But I didn't want to flat out lie either.

"I guess they were saying that you and I will always mean something to me, but I need to realize that it's over…it has to be."

"It doesn't have to be," Kennedy smirked. I wrinkled my brow and shot him a look. "Yes darling, it d…"

"Hey party people!" Lacey burst in the door and tossed a can of Coors Lite into Alex's lap. "You don't know how hard it is to smuggle alcohol into a hospital until you…"

She spotted Kennedy and gasped. The awkwardness that had faded away returned in an instant and Kennedy and I immediately dropped hands.

"Oh hey Kennedy," Lacey flatly emitted into the dead air. The vision of them together from my dream crawled into my mind and I grabbed my scalp like I was suffering from a migraine.

"Uh, hey Lace…" Kennedy leaned away from the bed and tightly placed his hands in his lap. His body language was screaming "HELP ME" and I couldn't stop rubbing my forehead. Lacey padded over to the bed and handed me a can of Sprite. "I thought you'd be thirsty," she recited, "I didn't know Kennedy was bringing you Panera."

"Kennedy didn't bring it," I corrected her, "Alex did, Kennedy just came to visit."

Lacey glanced over at Kennedy and he squirmed a little in his chair. I was literally in the middle of them with no escape. My IV hooked me to this hospital like an anchor to the bottom of the sea. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, I was trapped in the center of awkwardville and I had lost my map.

"Well that was very nice of him," Lacey's monotone voice buzzed in my ears and her eyes shot lasers into Kennedy's forehead.

"Well Britta," Kennedy swallowed hard and patted my knee, "I'm gonna go. It was nice seeing you, call me if you need anything. I'm gonna be in the LA area for a little bit. Probably visiting Garrett and Rach…"

"She gets it!" Lacey interrupted him with a bark, "you'll be around if she needs you."

Without saying a word, Kennedy shook his head and exited the room. I watched as the door shut and grabbed for the teddy bear he had brought me.

"What's the card say?" Lacey asked, inertly mocking his sincere gift.

I peeled open the card and read the haunting words over and over again. They started to look as if they were another language by the 14th time. In his masculine, yet neat, handwriting Kennedy had written in blue ink "I love you, Kid."

*******

Lacey went down to the food court to get herself some food, leaving Alex and I alone in the room. He flipped through the channels until we agreed on a One Tree Hill rerun playing on soap net. Just as the screen faded into a commercial I heard my phone ring and reached for it. Eric was calling…finally. I pressed talk and nervously placed the phone up to my ear.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hey Britta." He sounded sad. He didn't call me Wifey, or baby, or anything. Just Britta. Something was weird.

"Lovey, is something wrong?" I asked.

"There's uh, something I have to talk to you about…" he began.

"Actually there's something I have to talk to you about," I replied, "it's kinda…big."

"Okay," he sighed, "tell me…"

I sucked in a deep breath and attempted to begin to tell him the story. Soon Sam and Jen burst in the door and I nearly dropped the phone.

"Sam? Jen? What are you guys doing he…"

"We have to tell you something…" Jen sadly exclaimed.

"Hold on," I held up my hand. I pointed towards the phone and mouthed "It's Eric."

"Is everything okay?" Eric asked into the phone.

"Actually no," I replied, "I'm in the hospital."

"What?!" Eric exclaimed, "what happened?"

"Lovey, I was pregnant."

"Pregnant?" he gasped, sounding as if he were about to faint. "What do you mean 'was'?"

I began to explain to him the sad news as I watched Sam and Jen trip over themselves grabbing pieces of paper and snatching a hospital marker off the whiteboard.

"Oh my God," Eric breathed, "so you're okay?"

"I'm okay, but they had to inject me with this chemical and I ended up being allergic to it. I've been here the past week."

Sam waved her arms in the air and held up a blank piece of paper. "What?" I whisper yelled.

She flipped the paper around and I read the bold blue letters. "HE CHEATED ON YOU!"

Jen stepped up next to her and held up her paper, shifting my eyes and read the words. "WITH LEANNE."

Wrath and depression surged through my body as I heard Eric gush into the phone; "I can't believe this, I'm coming out there to see you as soon as I can book a flight."

"Don't." I coldly replied and hung up the phone.

**Thanks for reading!! :)**


	17. When I Look At You

**We're getting close to the end!! Enjoy guys! :)**

* * *

**Eric's POV-**

I dropped the phone in my lap and sucked in a deep breath. My heart was racing and my head was pounding. Just the thought of Britta having to go through that alone made me slowly begin to hate myself. And then the thought of what I was doing while she went through, made me completely hate myself.

I tried to climb off the bed but as I reached the edge I fell to my knees and dug my face into the mattress. The comforter muffled my screams and I felt the tears start to puddle around my eye lids. What had I done? I punched the side of the bed and felt my knuckles crack. I had to fix this. I had to go to LA and find Britta in that hospital and explain everything that happened. She would understand; she was my wife. I loved her and she loved me. She'd know that it was all a miscommunication.

I grabbed my bag out of the closet and began shoving my clothes inside. Shirts and jeans were shrew across the floor and I scavenged to pick up each one. I grabbed a handful of socks and heard a crinkle. Dropping the socks in my bag I discovered a piece of paper. I folded it open it once and immediately recognized Britta's handwriting. It must have been old because the date read from 3 years ago. Holding onto the note I pushed a few things away and found a cardboard box marked "Old College Stuff." I peeked inside and a Seton Hall sweatshirt lay on top. Underneath were a few things Britta and Sam obviously had in their dorm before they moved to the beach house. It was weird to think they used to live in the beach house that Britta and I now used as our second home. It was weird thinking about Britta's life before we met. She used to be a normal college student. But there was always that step between college and us…

I looked down at the note and began reading out loud.

_My Dearest Samantha,_

_I'm writing to fill you in on my life. A lot of new exciting things have been happening. I moved to Arizona. I'm no longer living it up in Cali, sadly. But it's okay, cause I moved in with Kennedy. Everything changes when I'm with him Sam. I was so scared about coming to California all by myself, but he made everything okay. I'm trying new things, I'm singing all the time. I even tried sushi! But most of all, I'm doing something I never thought I could…I'm falling in love. It's crazy and fun, and scary, and everything I ever wanted to be. It's like my hearts on a treadmill whenever I look at him, and when he kisses me…oh god. Sam, I don't think I'm ever coming home. I miss you so much though, please tell me you're visiting soon!! But even if you can't it's okay, cause guess what? The Maine's going to be on Warped…and Kennedy asked me to come with them. I'm going on Warped! I'm so excited! _

_Anyway, sorry I'm boring you with all this mushy stuff, but you know me. After Wiley I was so scared of being hurt again. Even though Wiley didn't technically do anything wrong, we were broken up when it happened, but still. Guys and I just don't see eye to eye on things. I just want to protect my heart, and they're out to break it. Thank God I found someone like Kennedy. I know he'd never break my heart. He just couldn't. But then again, I'm only 18 and he's a 20 year old guy. Maybe I'm too naïve…or blinded by how fast I'm falling for him. Either way, I never want to stop feeling this way and I probably never will._

_I'll call you soon. I love and miss you!_

_-Britta_

**Britta's POV-**

If I thought I was numb before, I had no idea what numb meant compared to that moment. Sam dropped the paper and ran over to my bed side as I erupted into sobs. Jen picked up Sam's and crinkled it into hers. She tossed it in the trash and crawled up on the bed next to me. She hugged me tight and I laced my fingers into her hair. The tears fell harder as I tried to ask them what happened, or how they knew. Sam whispered "It's going to be okay." But I knew it wasn't.

"How, how did you find out?" I finally asked.

"She was in my house," Sam angrily replied, "she was in the guest bedroom with him. She didn't see me, thank goodness."

"But why?" I begged.

"I don't know, but there is no valid excuse for what he did. You don't deserve that," Jen replied.

"But why?" I slammed my hands into my lap and slowly began to breakdown.

"He thought you were cheating on him," Sam admitted, "with Alex."

Alex shot up out of the love seat and came over to the bed. Confusion ran across his face as he tapped Sam's shoulder, "and why would he think that?"

"Because Sam's an idiot," Jen replied.

"What?" I pleaded, "will someone please just tell me what's going on?"

"Sam told Eric that Alex was your guy from that pact thing from your bachelorette party…"

"WHAT?" I exclaimed, "Alex was not my guy, no offense Alex."

"None taken," Alex backed away from the bed, "I wasn't aware of this pact. I just thought that you said you'd cheat on your husband with me."

"Ugh Alex," I rolled my eyes, "you were Lacey's guy. I said Lacey said she'd cheat with you, when I was explaining how she slept with Kennedy. I must have been so drunk I told you you were my guy."

"Remind me to never talk to you when you're drunk," Alex laughed. "And uh, where's Lacey?" He winked and pranced out of the room.

"So what are you going to do?" Sam asked. "Eric's in Boston with Hawke."

"Well first I'm going to get the fuck out of this hospital. I sniffled and buzzed for the nurse. She came in followed by a doctor I didn't recognized. I explained to them that I was ready to go home. The doctor agreed that I had recovered well and could leave as soon as my discharge papers were filled. The nurse gently unhooked my IV and I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was finally free.

The doctor turned to leave but soon stopped short. "Britta," he said in a slight Boston accent, "after the embryo was flushed out, we were able to determine the sex. Would you like to know what you were carrying?"

Sam grabbed my hand and I shook my head, "sure, you can tell me."

"It was a boy," he smiled, "I hope this doesn't discourage you for the future. You're a healthy young lady and can have all the babies you want."

Why did everyone keep telling me that? I know! Maybe I was supposed to be more mentally damaged than I was. Maybe I was stronger than I thought.

"So what would you have named him?" the doctor asked. I had to think about it for a second.

"Jack," I finally answered, "Jack Dawson."

"That's a nice name." He nodded and left the room. I couldn't believe I was carrying another boy. Hawke would have had a little brother. I began to choke up and stopped myself. I couldn't breakdown again. Had to get out of the hospital, and back home, and eventually get my son.

"So you have to go to the hotel to get your stuff right?" Sam asked. "You're at the Hilton right?"

"How'd you know?" I asked as I grabbed my clothes Alex had brought me a few days ago.

"Alex told me when we called," Jen explained, "we told him not to tell you we were coming. We figured you'd get suspicious."

"I'm glad you came," I replied, "I don't think I would have been able to get that kind of news over the phone."

"I'm really sorry by the way Britt," Jen sympathized, "sorry about everything."

"It's okay," I felt my cheeks begin to get hott. The back of my throat began to itch. "I just have to get out of this hospital and go home." I slipped into the bathroom as the tears began to fall again and collapsed into the sink. I didn't want to cry anymore, but I couldn't help it.

**Sam's POV-**

Britta ran into the bathroom and I slipped out into the hall. I pulled out my phone and punched in a number I had forgotten I'd memorized. It rang a few times before he picked up.

"Hey Kenny," I weakly replied as soon as he picked up. "I know I'm the last person you want to be talking to right now, but we need to talk."

"What's up?" he asked.

"It's Britta…"

"What happened? Is she okay? Did something happen at the hospital?"

"How'd you know she was in the hospital?"

"Alex called me, I just visited her a few hours ago," he explained.

"You came to visit her?" I asked, "did she tell you anything about Eric?"

"She said she hadn't talked to him in a while…"

"He cheated on her," I replied, "with a girl that already did this to her a long time ago."

"Leanne?"

"Yeah," I answered, not knowing he knew about Leanne. But then again, he pretty much knew everything about Britta; he was the first person she even fully opened up to.

"She's pretty upset and I think you guys should talk," I suggested, "you might be able to calm her down for a while before she really loses it."

"I'll come back to the hospital. I'm only at Garrett and Rachael's; they just got back from Arizona a few days ago."

"We're leaving the hospital now," I explained, "but meet us at the hotel. It's the Hilton on 5th."

"Okay." I heard a car door pop open and the background noise muffled to an engine starting.

"Kennedy."

"Yeah Sam."

"Thanks." This wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. "You know for still being around. Even for me."

"I'll always be around," I could tell he was smiling. "And Sam, don't ever be afraid to call me. If Britta needs me, if you need me. I don't want this to be awkward for any of us. We can still be friends."

"I know," I shook my head. "Oh and guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm getting married!"

"Sam that's awesome!" Kennedy exclaimed, "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you," I smiled, "and Kenny, can you keep a secret?"

"I sure can," he replied.

"I'm pregnant."

**Britta's POV-**

We pulled up to the hotel and I hopped out of the car. Jen and Sam didn't flinch. "Aren't you guys coming?" I asked, peeking my head back into the car.

"Nah, we'll wait for you," Jen replied.

"It looks like it's going to rain anyway," Sam added.

"Guys, we're in LA. It doesn't rain."

Sam and Jen laughed. I rolled my eyes and shut the door. Whatever they were planning I didn't care.

I jogged into the hotel and smiled at Amanda. She gave me a look as I passed the desk.

"What did I do?" I teasingly asked.

"I knew you were lying!" she exclaimed.

"I'm not lying about anything!" I replied, defensively.

"Okay," she rolled her eyes, "well go up to your room and bring your husband back down and we'll see who's lying."

_WHAT? _There was no way Eric was already in LA. That was impossible. I jumped in the elevator and rode up to my floor. I reached the door and punched in my key card. The door flew open and I marched inside. Rounding the corner I met eyes with Kennedy and he sprang out of the chair in the corner.

"Sam called me," he mumbled, "I'm so sorry."

"Come here," I whispered. He shuffled over and I dropped into his arms. I couldn't hold back anymore. The sobs and cries came pouring out and I dug my face into his chest. He kissed the top of my head and whispered something into my hair.

"How'd you get a key to my room?" I finally asked.

"I kinda lied to Amanda," he laughed, "I told her I was your husband and I wanted to surprise you."

"Well I was surprised," I giggled, "thank you for this, I needed someone. I needed you."

"Well you got me," Kennedy smiled, "we have a lot to talk about huh?"

I sadly shook my head and leaned my forehead on his. "My world is falling apart," I whispered.

"_When my world is falling apart  
When there's no light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you." _Kennedy softly sang.

"You know I hate Miley Cyrus," I teased.

"I know," Kennedy smirked, "but you love being sung to, and the song just fit."

"You're a dork," I poked his chest and backed away.

I grabbed my bag and double checked the room that I hadn't left anything. Just as I turned to leave I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"Someone calling?" Kennedy asked.

"No," I shook my head, "If someone was calling there'd be a ring tone. This must be my calendar. But what's today?"

I pulled out my phone and unlocked the screen. "NEW CALENDER EVENT!" It flashed.

Kennedy cleared his throat and I looked back down at the screen. I clicked open and read the words out loud. "October 2nd. Kennedy and I's three year anniversary."

"You kept it in your calendar?" he softly asked.

"It's been three years," I gushed.

"Since we were something," Kennedy sighed.

"No…since I discovered love."

Kennedy pulled me into another hug and I dropped my phone in my bag.

"I just want to go home," I admitted.

"Then let's go," Kennedy walked me towards the door. We returned to the lobby and Amanda winked at me. I stopped and swallowed hard.

"Amanda, you shouldn't be working in this hotel."

"I don't mind it…"

"No," I interrupted her, "It's not fair. Who gets to choose who escapes and who doesn't? You deserve more than this."

"No Britta, you don't understand. Working in this hotel is my escape. I used to have "the life." I was modeling for this company. I got into some bad stuff and started missing work. One day I showed up and they had replaced me with some red-headed bimbo. They just dropped me, and I knew I needed help. I cleaned up and got a job here. I don't regret it for a second."

I knew exactly who that "red-headed bimbo" was. Lacey. And she was getting herself into exactly what Amanda had escaped.

"You're the lucky one," I whispered, "the red-headed bimbo is going nowhere."

"I know," Amanda nodded, "you be safe out there Britta. And don't forget me."

"I promise you, I won't."

With that, Kennedy and I left the hotel and started for the parking lot. Jen and Sam had found a spot and were jamming out to Taylor Swift when I reached the car.

"Guys," I called into the window. "I'm gonna ride home with Kennedy okay?"

"That was the plan," Jen smiled devilishly and put the car in drive. "See you on the flip side," she called out the window.

I waved after them and slid into Kennedy's car. He plopped down into the driver's seat, started the car and grabbed something out of the back.

"I was cleaning the apartment the other day and found this." He handed me an old piece of paper and I nervously unfolded it. It was an old M.A.S.H. we had played on our first ride from LA to Arizona three years before. We lived in a mansion in New Jersey and had a pet zebra. And one child. A boy, we had named Jack. Jack Dawson Brock.

***

The house was still and quiet when Kennedy and I finally opened the front door and stepped in. I hadn't been home in a little while and I had forgotten how beautiful my own home could be. Memories seeped from the walls and my head began to hurt. I stumbled towards the stairs and Kennedy followed, carrying my bag.

We reached the bedroom and I instructed Kennedy to toss my bag down on the floor. It was dark out and the only light came from the moon and the small lamp on my nightstand. I slumped down on the bed and Kennedy handed me a pair of pajama pants that were sticking out from under the bed. I patted for him to join me as I slipped on the pants and finally lay my head on the pillow.

"I should probably go." He slowly inched towards the door.

"No don't," I screeched, "please don't leave me alone. I can't face this house or anything alone right now."

Kennedy stood contemplating and finally shrugged out of his jacket. He neatly placed it on the back of the computer chair and kicked off his shoes. He lay down next to me and I reached to turn the lamp off.

"This is a one night deal, btw." I teased.

"Oh, so no sex?" Kennedy joked.

"In your dreams!"

Kennedy chuckled, "Well actually, in yours."

**Thanks for reading!! :) :)**


	18. It Ends With Us

**This is the ENDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD of you and me... ;)**

* * *

**14 days later…**

Humming along to the theme song of The Office, I sat criss-cross in front of the coffee table. Kenny had ordered us Chinese food and at the moment I was shoving it in with my shovel of a fork. Boxes surrounded me, holding memories worth millions. My house didn't look like my house anymore. It was some foreign hotel I'd been staying in for a few nights and at the end of the week I'd find a new place to stay. Every single picture of Eric and I was either turned faced down, or taken down completely.

My marriage was ending but I couldn't be sad. I was past the point of sad, or hurt. I was numb. Losing "Jack" was one of the hardest things I had ever gone through, and Eric's unfaithfulness was just adding insult to injury.

I popped a few pieces of boneless pork in my mouth and cracked open my can of Pepsi. A drop fell down my shirt and I grabbed a napkin off the table to wipe it. I followed the trail to the crease of my bra and crinkled the napkin up. Tossing it in one of the boxes marked "garbage" I heard someone calling for me.

"Britta come here!" he called.

"Hurry come here! Hurry up!"

I hopped up off the floor and stretched my still limbs. My left foot had started to fall asleep so I stomped on it for a few seconds before I descended the stairs to the computer room. I stepped in the door and met eyes with a smiling Kennedy. His chin was scruffy and a matching "almost mustache" lay between his nose and his top lip.

"Come look at this!" He turned towards the screen and I walked over to the desk. Resting my head on his shoulder I watched him click around a few times before he found what he wanted to show me. He pulled up a YouTube video of us from three years before. We had fake grills in and wore red and black bandanas across our foreheads. As soon as I heard the entering music of "Richman" by 3OH!3 I knew exactly what video this was.

"You idiot," I smacked his arm, "you were yelling for me so loud I thought something was wrong."

Kenny chuckled and paused the video, "I just wanted to see if you remembered this…"

"Of course I remember it," I leaned my face in closer and soon pecked his lips. I slightly pulled away but Kennedy dragged me in with another kiss. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too." Rubbing Kenny's shoulder I kissed his cheek and backed out of the room, "next time you need me," I said before leaving, "how 'bout you just come and get me, so I don't think you're dying."

**Eric's POV-**

I left Sam's before she could get back from LA; I didn't want to have to face her. She already knew what happened; I didn't want to make it worse. I stayed at Nicks for a little while, and finally built up enough courage to buy a plane ticket and come back to Arizona. Britta probably didn't want to see me, but I had to see her. We had to talk about the baby that she had lost, I couldn't imagine what she was going through and I just needed to talk to her.

When I pulled in the driveway a Black BMW was parked in my spot. I couldn't remember who had a Black BMW…well John Oh did, but he was in New York. Had he left it to someone when he left? The outlander was pulled out of the driveway with a trailer attached. The door was half shut and dozens of cardboard boxes were placed inside. Maybe I was too late.

I stepped out of the car and smelled the flowers I had picked up at the airport. The nerves bubbled in my throat as I clicked open the back door and scooped Hawke out of his car seat. He smiled up at me with wide eyes and I kissed his tiny hand. He had no idea what I'd done and he'd love me no matter what. He was all that mattered when it came down to it. Even if my wife never wanted to talk to me again, I'd always have my son.

Shaking my hair out of my eyes, I mounted the steps and hesitated before opening the door. I was afraid to enter my own home. I knocked once and slightly pushed the door open.

"Britta…" I called in. The TV was on but no one was sitting on the couch. Soon a head popped up and I met eyes with my wife. A weak smile fell upon my face, but her eyes remained cold.

"Nice of you to show up," she murmured as she got up off the floor.

"We have to talk," I replied, "about everything."

"We have nothing to talk about," Britta pulled Hawke out of my arms and ignored the flowers.

"These are for you," I pushed them forward.

"I don't want flowers Eric," she marched away and my heart fell, "you can leave now."

"This is my house!" I exclaimed.

"Correction!" she gently placed Hawke down on the couch and stomped back over to me, "this _was_ your house. You don't live here anymore, we're not married anymore."

"Well according to that ring on your finger, we still are!" I pointed down at her hand and she dropped her eyes to it as well.

I figured she was going to pull it off and drop it on the ground in front of me, but she did neither. Instead she left it on and gave it a quick twirl.

"Eric," she whispered, "I might still be wearing this ring, but we're not together. We can't be."

"But why? I love you!" I exclaimed, "and I know you love me!"

"Of course I love you!" her whole body shook as she screamed the words, "but I just can't be with you. Not after what you did."

"What I did? You cheated on me first!"

"Good fucking joke!" Britta exclaimed.

"What do you mean joke? You slept with Alex when you were in LA," I replied.

"I NEVER slept with Alex!" Britta screamed, "and the fact that you did what you did because you thought that, is pathetic. I would never cheat on you, and for you to just throw us away like that, really hurts."

"You never slept with Alex?" I asked.

"No, Eric. I never slept with Alex. And I never would. Just please just leave," Britta walked away and clicked off the TV. She slipped on shoes and sauntered over to the hall closet.

"What about our baby?" I faintly asked.

Britta stopped in her tracks and sucked in a deep breath. "What about him?" she asked.

"What happened? How did you lose him?"

"The egg was growing outside of the womb, he had no chance of surviving," she explained.

"I'm so sorry," I replied, "I wish we could have saved him."

Britta sighed and backed away from the closet. She stepped up to me and I held out my hand. She pushed past it and laid her head on my chest. I rested my head on hers and sucked in a deep breath.

"You're a great dad, Eric." She hugged me tighter and I could feel her heart beating. "And that baby boy would have loved you just as much as Hawke and I do."

She stepped back and whipped her eyes, "but maybe losing this baby was the best thing that could have happened for us."

"What are you saying?" I softly cried, "How could you say that?"

"I'm saying that having another baby would have linked us together even more than Hawke does. Another baby would have made this even harder." Britta walked away and grabbed a bag from out of the closet.

"Make what even harder?" I begged.

Soon I heard footsteps and I turned to face the stairs. Kennedy stood at the opening to go down the den. I looked back over at Britta and then at Kennedy.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Britta grabbed another box from off the floor and tucked it under her arm. "Come on Kenny," she nodded her head towards the door. "It's time to go."

Kennedy picked Hawke up off the couch and I marched forward. "Get your hands off my son!"

"Hey man," Kennedy backed away, "I'm just carrying him to the car. Chill out!"

"No I will not chill out," I barked, "put my son down and get out of my house."

"I'd be glad to get out of here," Kennedy walked away from the couch and grabbed Hawke's diaper bag off the floor, "but you're son is coming with us."

"To hell he his!" I lunged forward but Britta stepped in front of Kennedy and my son.

"Eric," she warned, her voice dripping with anger. "We're leaving, and Hawke's coming with us."

"What? Where are you going?" I asked, my head spinning from all the tension and confusion.

"We're moving to the beach house. I have to get out of Arizona and away from you. This house, this town, it holds way too many memories. Over there I'll be closer to everyone I want to be closer too. And hopefully…I'll never have to talk to you again."

Pushing past my shoulder Britta made her way to the door and held it open for Kennedy. He stepped up to my side holding my son. He looked up at me sympathetically and my teeth began to grind. Finally he passed me and left the house.

He thought he was so much better than me. He had my wife, my son…he was taking my life. And what pissed me off the most, is he had done the same damn thing to her! Why could he get away with it and I lost everything. It wasn't fair.

I turned and faced Britta who was still in the doorway. She looked up at me, then at the ground. She peeked out the door, but didn't flinch. Leaving this house had to be hard for her. I had to think of something to say that would make her stay.

"So it's just that easy?" I choked.

"It's that easy…" she shut the door and I felt my heart beat slow down. I watched as the Outlander pulled out of the driveway followed by the trailer. Britta looked up at me from the passenger seat and frowned. Kennedy leaned over and kissed her cheek and her face erupted into a smile. A solemn tear fell down my cheek and I backed away from the window. I couldn't stand to watch my life drive away, in the passenger side of a mint green Outlander.

**Britta's POV-**

"Plenty of gas?"

"Check!" Kennedy exclaimed.

"Snacks for the road?"

"Check!"

"DVDs for Hawke when he gets antsy?"

"Check!"

"A kiss for good luck?"

Kennedy leaned over and pecked my lips three times. "Check, check, and check."

We merged onto the highway and I slightly rolled down my window. The Arizona weather was beautiful and I knew I was going to miss it.

"So, you excited to be going back to New Jersey?" Kennedy asked.

"Uhm hm," I nodded, "I've always wanted to live there. I always pictured that house as my first home with a family. I never imagined myself as an Arizona girl. It just happened that way."

"Well you're a Jersey girl now," Kennedy winked.

"We've got a long way to go before I'm a Jersey girl again," I sighed at the busy highway. "I can't believe we're driving all the way there."

"Oh come on, it'll be fun." Kennedy winked, "just think of all the memories we'll make."

I smiled at Kennedy and admired his optimistic view on life. He was always the one who wasn't afraid to try new things and push me to be a better person. I lost myself finding him. And it was the best find of my life.

Kennedy slid open the sunroof and the warming rays spilled down into the car. He took his hand off the wheel and gently grabbed mine. We laced fingers over the center console and he began to slowly rub my thumb.

As we drove farther down the highway I began to slowly drift to sleep. As the sounds of the road faded away I found myself in a white room. I looked down and admired a beautiful white sundress I was dressed in. Frantically searching the room for anyone I tried to scream but my throat was closed.

"Looking for me?" I heard a voice behind me ask.

I whipped around and met eyes with Wiley. He wore a white tux and top hat and held an envelope. I ran to him and watched as he held out the envelope. I ripped it open and a black image fell into my hands.

"I don't see anything," My own voice echoed back to me.

"Hold it up to the light," Wiley instructed.

I held the picture up to a light source I didn't know was there and deciphered that it was an ultrasound image. Instead of one baby though, there was two.

"I don't understand," I finally admitted.

"You will one day," Wiley smiled and soon the picture disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"Why are you still here?" I asked, "The dreams are over."

"They are over," Wiley agreed, "I'm here to congratulate you."

"Congratulate me?"

"Yes, for finally making the right decision!" Wiley took off his top hat and poured more pictures into my hands. I caught a few and studied the faces.

One picture was of me in a white wedding gown, similar to the dress I was wearing now. Kennedy stood beside me, wearing the white tux Wiley was wearing. The next picture was of Kennedy, he was standing in front of the Eiffel tower holding a tiny baby in each arm.

"Wiley," I whispered, "where did you get these?"

I looked up and Wiley was gone. "Wiley!" I yelled, "Where are you!"

I jolted awake as Kennedy slammed on the brakes. Our hands were still intertwined and Hawke was watching The Lion King in the backseat.

"Well good morning sleepyhead," Kennedy laughed.

I didn't respond. Instead I leaned over and kissed Kennedy harder than I ever had before. He chuckled as I pulled away and focused back on the road.

"Well…have a good dream?" he teased.

Dreams. They had been haunting me for weeks. Telling me about making decisions and love. This whole time the dreams weren't telling me that I _wasn't_ in love with Kennedy. They were trying to tell me that I had made the wrong choice a long time ago. This whole time my heart belonged with Kennedy and I had spent too much time denying it. Now I was in love and the dreams were over. I had been hurt and broken. But still came out stronger than before. This was my life now. And I couldn't have been happier.

* * *

**thanks to everyone who read! :)**

**you're all amazing!**


	19. Epilogue Saying Goodbye

**Okay guys...I'm really sorry it's so long. But it's the end. Did you expect anything less? I just want to say that you guys are amazing and have made writing these stories some of the best times of my life. Though this is the end to this tale doesn't mean it's the end forever. Maybe more ideas will bloom in the future...but Britta/Eric/Kennedy/Lacey/John/John's story is going out with a BANGG. I love you and enjoy 3**

**2 years later…**

Sam pulled up in front of the hotel and I sat astonished by its beauty. The red and green lights reflected on the freshly fallen snow and the walkway shimmered with footlights.

"When Leanne throws a party…she _throws a party," _Sam gushed.

I rubbed my belly and clutched Kennedy's hand. He smiled and reached for the door handle.

"Guys, wait…I'm nervous," I admitted.

"What are you nervous about?" Jesse chuckled, "it's just a Christmas party."

"But it's Leanne's Christmas party…" I reminded him.

"Oh come on, you'll be fine," Sam and Jesse hopped out of the front and Kennedy popped open the back door. He slid out and then helped me out of the back. My pregnant belly was so big I didn't know if my shoes even matched. The last thing I wanted was to be at a Christmas party in the middle of Boston.

Sam locked the car and we carefully made our way towards the hotel. A black Lexus pulled up next to us and stropped. The driver's side window rolled down and a smiling John Oh popped his head out. I looked past him and met eyes with Carolyn. She and Lacey's similar features sent a chill down my spine. Their nose was exactly the same and Carolyn even had the green eyes with the flecks of gold, just like Lacey.

"Hey guys!" John exclaimed, "Long time no see."

"Tell me about it," I rolled my eyes.

"Hey John," Sam smirked, "there's a pot next us right down there." She pointed to where we had parked and John followed her finger with his eyes.

"Alright, meet you inside!" John rolled up the window and took off down the parking lot. I couldn't believe he had shown up. Leanne invited everyone, but come on…John Ohh and Carolyn. That was just asking for trouble.

Kennedy pulled the door of the hotel open and I wobbled inside. As we reached the lobby he grabbed my hand again and we approached the desk.

"Hi, we're looking for the Velazquez party," Sam told the receptionist.

She nodded and told us it was two floors up and the first ballroom on our left. I grabbed a few mints from the bowl off the counter and popped a few in my mouth. The nerves and pregnancy we're helping with my now approaching acid reflux. This was going to be a long night.

The elevator dinged and peeled open. We stepped out and I made sure not to catch the back of my dress with my heel. Kennedy laid a hand on my back to steady my stance and I thanked him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey you alright?" he finally asked.

"I'm fine, just a little nervous." A little was an understatement if I ever heard one. Going to this party was one of the scariest experiences of my life. There were going to be dozens of people I didn't know…and worst of all dozens of people I did.

Living at the beach house Kennedy and I became very secluded. Cutting the people who caused drama out of our lives was a good decision, but still hard to leave loved ones behind.

I hadn't talked to Tiffany in almost a year. And before you jump to conclusions it's not because she was dating Wiley. I could care less about this. He was going to break her heart anyway. And he did. Three days before their one year Wiley dumped her because they were becoming too serious and he wasn't sure he was 100% dedicated to their relationship. The same damn thing her did to Jess he did to my baby sister. But like a true Gladden, she packed her shit and went back to school. She's happily studying Forensic Psychology at Roger Williams in Rhode Island. Wiley on the other hand…he moved to Florida and is staying with an old band mate. I haven't heard from him in a while either. I miss him; he helped me solve all of problems…well the dream him did.

"If you want to go home, just let me know," Kennedy assured me, "we don't have to stay at the party."

"No it's okay really," I sighed, "I want to see everyone…"

"BRITTA!" A familiar voice monster called me and I turned to face into the loud party.

Lacey came running over and pulled me into a tight hug. Wait…Lacey! Wasn't she supposed to be in LA?

"Lace, you're in Boston…?"

"Leanne invited me," She chirped as we parted, "I didn't want to pass up a party!"

I gave her once over and admired her "Lacey figure" she had revitalized. The last time I had seen her she was model skinny…not Lacey skinny. Her hair was back to its crimson-auburn shade and fell to her shoulders. Her little black dress hugged her curvy hips and she had a new tattoo down her left forearm.

"Lace you look beautiful," I gushed.

She smirked and gave a twirl, "well thank you love." She gave me one look and I already knew what she was going to say.

"You look…pregnant."

I rubbed my tummy and smiled, "this I am."

"It's Kennedy's right?" she winked.

"Yes, _they_ are…and it's not an it, they're a they…"

"Ohhh twins!" she exclaimed.

I nodded, "two boys."

"Awww!" she patted my belly, "do you have names picked out yet?"

"Jack and Fletcher," I replied, "Kennedy and I each picked a name."

"So how's Hawke feeling about being a big brother?" Lacey asked.

"He's only three…he thinks it's the coolest thing in the world." I smiled at the thought of Hawke, but then remembered one thing. Eric. No matter what he would always be Hawke's father and always be that connecting link between us.

"Well, I'm gonna go check out the party," I stepped pat Lacey and was taken aback by the beautiful decorations.

"But wait!" Lacey called after me, "I forgot to tell you something."

"What's up?" I asked.

"Come here…" Lacey tugged my arm and pulled me into the crowd. Losing grip with Kennedy she pulled me deeper into the sea of people and I tried to search the crowd for anyone I knew.

The cluster of people smelled like alcohol and expensive perfume. My nose itched by the time we had reached Lacey's destination. A few faces I had met before stood before me and I lightly smiled.

"Britta, you remember Fallon and Mel?" I nodded at the girls I had met two years ago and exchanged some hellos.

Lacey grabbed Fallons hand; the one that wasn't clutching her French cigarette, that is, and leaned into her shoulder.

"Britta, there's something I have to tell you…" She kissed Fallon on the cheek.

"Lacey, are you…?"

"Oh totally," she exclaimed.

"Wait really?" I asked.

Lacey snorted and dropped hands with Fallon. "No!" she exclaimed, "I'm completely kidding, but guess who's really here?"

"Hey Britta!" an angelic and familiar voice came from behind me and I whipped around.

A very handsome and cleaned up John Gomez stood before me and soon pulled me into a hug.

"John," I giggled, "I miss you! You're…you're here!"

"I'm here," he chuckled, "and I missed you too."

We didn't break apart for a few seconds and he gently patted my back. "Glad to see you're okay," he whispered over my shoulder, "I didn't get to see you before you gone and took off from Arizona."

"I'm sorry I never said bye," I replied, "but after everything that happened I had to get out of there."

"I understand." He dropped his eyes to my belly and smiled, "well looks like you've been busy."

I rolled my eyes and shot a glance over at Lacey; "same to you."

John smiled at Lacey and sighed, "she's the best thing that ever happened to me Britt, I couldn't give up that easily."

"I know, I always knew you guys would find each other again. She needed you, she could deny it all she wanted, but you, John Christopher Gomez, are the best thing that could have ever happened to her."

"Thanks Britta, that means a lot." John looked down at my "Halvorsen" tattoo that had now been replaced with "Hawke." "It's funny," he shrugged. "Lacey and I are back together…and you and Kennedy fixed things."

"True love never dies," I replied.

"Don't hit me…but what about Eric? Didn't you love him?"

"Of course I loved him," I replied, "he's the father of my child and he gave some of the most amazing years of my life…but we're just…we're not meant to be."

"How do you know?" John asked.

"How do you know Lacey's the one for you?" I asked back.

"Because I've been in love with her since I was 12 years old, I've never seen myself with anyone else…"

"And didn't Lacey feel that way about John Ohh?" I replied.

"I guess so…" John shrugged uncomfortably.

"But she loves you John, because you make her feel beautiful, and free. And because you were the first person who taught her how to love without fear of getting hurt, or losing you."

John shook his head and looked back up at me; he had cracked my analogy. "And that's how you feel about Kennedy…"

"Exactly." John nodded and bit his lip. "I understand," he replied, "but what about Eric?"

"He's my EX husband…we don't hate each other…but it's over."

"No," John shook his head, "I know that…I mean…he's here Britta…at the party."

"WHAT!" I exclaimed, "Why?"

"Him and Leanne still talk…they have to," John replied.

"What do you mean 'they have to'?" I demanded.

"Britt…you don't know?" John asked.

"Don't know what?" I exclaimed.

"About Haley…Leanne and Eric's daughter…"

"WHAT!" I screamed. Half of the party goers turned to face me and I blushed.

"They have a daughter…" I whispered, "this…this can't be real."

"I'm serious," John replied, "Leanne found out she was pregnant a little while after you left Arizona. Eric moved in with her and the baby last year."

"You've got to be kidding me." My head was spinning. Why had no one told me! Eric was the father of my fucking child and no one decided to fill me in on the fact that he had another one with my ex best friend. Whoever decided to keep this information from me was going to pay.

I stomped away and broke out of the crowd. If I knew Eric as well as I knew I did, he'd be at the bar. I approached the 50 ft counter top and peered all the way down. I spotted Leanne. She was wearing an elegant red dress with diamonds draping all down her back. Close to her side sat Eric and I glared at the back of his neck.

Making by way down the bar I finally reached Eric and tapped his shoulder. He spun around and nearly choked as he had to do a double take.

"Oh hey Britta," he winched.

"Cut the chit chat," I lilted, "we need to talk."

"Okay," he slid off his seat and dropped his cup off on the glowing glass counter top. "Last Christmas" blared through the speakers as we attempted to exit the crowded party. We were almost at the door when John Ohh stepped in followed by Carolyn. She was slightly shorter than him and was wearing a tight green dress. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a bun wrapped tightly on the side of her head and her peach lip shimmer made her lips look ten times fuller than they really were.

Before I could say a word, Lacey stepped up behind me and stared Carolyn down.

"You can leave," she spat the words as if tiny knives were attached.

"Lacey," John chuckled, "we were invited."

"Well it was obviously a mistake, because there's no way you two would be invited to this party."

"It wasn't a mistake," John's cheeks began to redden. "Let's just enjoy the party huh."

"No John, I can't 'enjoy the party' knowing you're here. You don't deserve to be here, especially not with her."

Carolyn cleared her throat and began to say something but Lacey cut her off.

"Don't say a fucking word!" she barked, "you have no say in this."

"Lacey…" Carolyn tried to begin.

"Don't do it Carolyn…or should I say Gwen. Who the fuck are you anyway? Are you even really my sister? No you can't be my sister, because my sister would never sleep with the guy I was in love with my entire life."

"Lacey this is not the place to talk about this," John butted in.

"Fuck you!" She exclaimed, "don't fucking tell me where's the place to talk about this? Why don't you go home and take care of your daughter, John! The daughter you ignored the fact that she was yours for 6 years. How about that? You fucking disgust me."

"Lacey, I understand why you're angry..but don't blame John…the whole situation was messed up and Madison didn't care…"

"Madison didn't care!" Lacey lunged forward, "No '_Gwen'_ you didn't give her the chance to care. You're a terrible sister, a horrific friend, and a pathetic excuse for a mother."

Carolyn lashed forward and snapped her hand across Lacey's face.

"Bad decision," I whispered into the tension filled air.

That was all it took to set Lacey off. Like a rodezjan ridgeback, her shoulders rose and Lacey pounced. Carolyn tumbled backwards as Lacey began ramming her fist into her cheek. I had never seen her so angry before in my life. They began tossing around the area, but no one would break them up. Coming closer to my rang, Eric grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the way as Lacey began to pull Carolyn's hair out of the bun.

We raced past the antagonizing crowd and finally made it safely into the foyer. I heard someone calling my name behind me, but I kept running.

**Eric's POV-**

I didn't know if she had realized we were still holding hands by the time we got to the doors of the elevator. But I wasn't going to remind her. We stepped inside and she pressed every button for every floor twice.

"We have a lot to talk about," she breathed as the elevator dinged up. She reached in a tiny clutch that was hanging off of a chain around the inside of her elbow and pulled out a small gold card. Sliding it in a card slot on the elevator a red light sprang on and she slowly backed away.

"What does that do?" I asked.

"It makes it so it won't stop on any floors, even if someone presses the button," she explained.

"How'd you get a card that does that?"

"I've stayed her a few times before," she replied, as if I was supposed to know. "I'm a VIP."

"Good to know."

"So any way," she rolled her eyes, "I'm not here to make up with you…or beg for you to take me back. I just want to talk about everything that's happened."

"A lot's happened Britt," I replied. She gave me that, "no fucking duh" look and I felt my cheeks begin to warm. I missed it. I missed her.

"So…I heard something…" she began.

"Haley."

"Yeah," she nodded, "why didn't you tell me about her?"

She looked hurt, but not. I didn't know how to describe it. Her voice wasn't angry, but I could tell just by looking at her she was upset.

"I didn't find out about her until you and Kennedy were in New Jersey. Leanne called me and said she was pregnant. I freaked out and flew to Boston as soon as I could."

"I understand that," Britta held up her hand, "but why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you'd care," I replied, "you had Kennedy and a new life. Why would you care about me?"

"Eric." Britta tapped her foot on the ground and crossed her arms over her pregnant tummy, "Just because we're not together doesn't mean I don't care about you. I can be mad at you, and not talk to you for two years unless it's about our son..but I'll always care about you."

Before I could respond Britta's phone began ringing in her purse and as she pulled it out her ring tone began more audible. _"Does he watch your favorite movies…does he hold you when you cry?"_

She shyly smiled and placed it back in her purse; "I'll let it ring."

The song finished and we stood awkwardly waiting for either one of us to say something. Finally I blurted.

"So how've you been?"

"Pregnant." She smiled and rubbed her belly, "and busy. I've been writing like crazy and trying to make studio time in between getting ready for the babies."

"Babies?" I asked.

"Twins," she replied, "two boys."

"Congratulations," was all I could think to say. I was happy for her, but still a little disappointed. My now ex-wife was pregnant with twins that weren't mine. Talk about buzz kill.

"So what about you?" she asked leaning against the wall.

"I've been alright." I lied. "I bought a house in Boston, you know so I could be closer to Haley…and maybe in the future Hawke." I tucked my head down and looked up at her from under my brow. She sighed and leaned harder onto the wall.

"He asks about you sometimes," she replied. "He misses you. We both do."

"Good to hear," I chuckled, "when can I see my boy?"

"Anytime you want," she replied. "Well, we've got the beach house, Kennedy's apartment in Arizona, our apartment in LA…and a new house in Boston…so…"

"You bought a house in Boston?" I exclaimed.

"A few weeks ago," she replied, "so anytime you want to see Hawke, just let me know. He is your son."

"I miss that little boy."

"He misses you," Britta replied. Her voice sounded off and she took a deep breath. I didn't know if she knew yet, because she hadn't seen anything, but I knew exactly what was happening. I'd seen it once before.

**Britta's POV-**

I had to get out of that damn elevator. The pulses of my oncoming contractions were raging up my spine and I knew soon I was going to be in a lot of pain. I didn't want to freak Eric out..but I also didn't want to deliver my babies in a fucking elevator.

Eric stepped closer and grabbed my hand, "is it happening?" he calmly asked.

"I think so…" I pulled in a deep breath and backed into the far wall.

"You're gonna be okay." He was trying to stay calm, but I knew he was freaking out.

Another contraction shot up my pelvis and I screamed. Eric helped me lay down on the floor and told me to keep breathing. He crawled over to the buttons and tried to open the door but it was no use. Once I put my card in it wasn't going to stop anywhere. It was going all the way up, and all the way back down.

He pressed the emergency button and tried to talk into the microphone but all that came back was static. He banged on the panel and yelled into the speaker box again.

"Eric! Eric!" I screamed, "another ones coming…help!"

He shuffled over and grabbed my hand. I squeezed his palm tight as another contraction rumbled through. After it ended Eric crawled back to the buttons and tried to call for help again.

"My phone!" I yelled, "call the hotel! Tell them we're in the elevator and need help."

"Good idea!" Eric grabbed my purse and pulled out my phone. He hit "unlock" but the screen remained black. He hit the side and pressed a few buttons.

"I think it's dead," he finally replied.

**Kennedy's POV-**

After breaking Lacey and her sister apart I decided maybe a party wasn't the best idea after all.

"Sam," I yelled across the bar, "I'm gonna find Britta and see if she wants to take off."

"We came in one car," she yelled back over the music.

"We can walk…" I replied, "our new house isn't far from here."

She gave me the "ok" hand signal and returned to sipping her drink and talking to a couple I didn't recognize.

I pulled out my phone and hit speed dial. It rang a few times and soon I heard _"You've reached Britta. I can't come to the phone right now…"_ I hung up and put the phone back in my pocket. She had to be in here somewhere. How far could a pregnant girl go at a party where she didn't know half the people?

I stepped away from the bar and entered the buzzing crowd. Spotting John Ohh, I slid through crowds of people and began calling his name.

"John!" I yelled, "did you see where Britta went?"

"Who?" he screamed.

"Britta, John! My wife! Did you see where she went?"

"Oh Britta!" he shot me the double finger guns.

"Yeah…did you see where she went?"

"Yeah man, I saw her leave with Eric a little bit ago. They were running I think."

"Eric?" I exclaimed. What was she doing with Eric. "Alright thanks man."

I parted from the crowd and pulled out my phone again. I wasn't pissed that she was with Eric, they were probably talking about Hawke. I didn't have to like him, or respect him…but I didn't have to respect the fact that he was Hawke's father and would always be a part of his and Britta's life.

"_You've reached Britta. I can't come to the phone right now…" _Fuck. It went straight to voicemail. It had either died or she had turned her phone off. Either way I wasn't worried. No matter where she was, she was fine. She was probably with Eric right now. They were probably arguing about everything. Hawke. Leanne. Haley…but wait. Britta didn't know about Haley. The only way I even knew was because of John. That was crazy to think about…Eric having a daughter with Leanne. Hawke had a little sister and two brothers on the way…

**Eric's POV-**

The elevator continued to climb and I all I could do was pray that it didn't get stuck. I didn't want to say it out loud though, that would have jinxed it…and there was no way I'd be able to handle Britta having these babies in an elevator.

She clutched my hand but the contractions had slowed for a little while now. It was okay, I didn't want to let go anyway.

"So…" she tried to steady her breathing, "let's try and distract ourselves. If I don't think about it, maybe it'll delay itself."

"I don't think it works like that…"

"JUST DISTRACT ME!"

I winced and fell over laughing. "I forgot how irritable you get when you start getting contractions."

"Oh ha ha," Britta mocked me, "so funny!"

"Remember the day you had Hawke?" I reminisced on the event that happened three years ago. One of the best days of my life. Other than my wedding day…and July 12th.

Britta laughed and squeezed her legs shut. "My water broke when I was in the shower. I didn't know until I stepped out."

"And you screamed louder than I ever heard you scream in your life," I added.

Britta shook her head, "um um. Not louder than when you pretended to fall off the colonial train."

The memory returned and I burst out laughing. "That was the day we went with John and Lacey right? And the whole time all Lacey would talk about was the damn binoculars."

"And the hotdogs; you can't forget the hotdogs."

We looked at each other and burst out laughing as we both remembered what John had said when Lacey whined she wanted a hotdog. Simultaneously we both blurted, _"I got a hotdog right here baby…"_

"I don't I was ever more uncomfortable in my life," Britta laughed, "Lacey's face was priceless."

"They're too funny," I agreed, "you know they're back together right?"

"Yeah, I talked to John a little while ago," Britta replied, "I'm glad they finally fixed things. She needed him…and he loves the hell out of her."

"You think she still loves John Ohh?" I asked.

"Is that a question," Britta replied, "I don't think she'll ever stop loving John Ohh. But her and J Gohh are meant to be. They just make sense. No matter how much you can love someone, you always somehow find your way back the one that stole your heart in the first place."

The words cut into me like a knife and I relaxed back into the wall of the elevator. There was always a part of me that thought that Britta was going to somehow end back up with Kennedy, but I never thought it would be as soon as it really happened. I didn't want to believe it…but I couldn't deny it anymore. As long as she was happy I was happy, but it still hurt sometimes.

"So anyway…" Britta sing-songed. "More distractions are needed."

"Okay," I leaned forward, "I got one. Remember your 21st birthday?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed, "you woke me up at fucking midnight and made me take "my first legal shot" in front of everyone! I had honestly never seen the beach house so full with people. You flew fucking everyone out!"

"I knew you didn't really want a quiet party in New Jersey…that's why we left Hawke with Dana."

"No," she wagged her finger in the air, "I said I wanted a quiet party in New Jersey AND we left Hawke with Dana because I wanted a _romantic_ birthday…just you and me."

"You mean…Ah fuck! I could have gotten some?" I whined.

"Key words…could have," Britta smirked. "But you decided to me Mr. Good Husband and invite all my friends and we partied."

"Instead of birthday sex…"

"Instead of birthday sex," she giggled and grabbed my hand tighter. "I think another ones coming."

"Okay, hold on." I steadied myself on the wall and cradled her head behind my arm. I was afraid she was going to hit it on the wall if she wasn't careful.

"It's definitely coming," she cried. Her head shot back and she screamed. Someone had to be hearing this and calling for help. She was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do. I felt helpless.

**Kennedy's POV-**

I waited another 15 minutes and still hadn't found Britta. I understood if she wanted to talk to Eric but she was missing the party, and I quite frankly, wasn't having any fun.

Sliding onto a stool at the bar I pulled out my phone and did the unthinkable. I dialed in Eric's number, hoping he _wouldn't_ answer. Soon I heard a ring tone going off behind the bar and I peeked over the counter. A black iPhone sitting next to an aqua purse with an embroidered "L" was ringing and "Kennedy" flashed upon the screen. Of course he would leave his phone behind the bar. Awesome.

Shoving the phone back in my pocket I glanced over at the bartender and she smiled and came over.

"What'll you have?" she asked.

"I'll take a scotch on the rocks," I ordered, "and a ginger ale for when I find my wife."

"Coming right up," she sauntered away and pulled out two glasses. Soon a smiling face slid in next to me and I faced a very pregnant Jen Cote-Kirch.

"Hola Kenny," she smiled and placed her purse down on the bar.

"Hey Jen," I gave her slight wave, "where's Pat?"

Jen waved her hand towards the dancing crowd, "somewhere in there."

I nodded and glanced down at her belly, "how's Nicole doing?" I asked.

"She's fine, back in Arizona with her grandma. But little Brody is causing quite a fuss. He's kicking all the time," Jen explained, patting her baby bump.

"I love it when they kick," I replied, "Britta freaks out! She's always like 'they're fighting already!'"

"I still can't believe you're having twins," Jen laughed, "good luck."

"We should be alright," I shrugged, "I've gotten good practice with Hawke and Britta's a great mom."

Jen nodded, "speaking of Britta, where is that chicka? She was like getting on the elevator when Pat and I walked in but I just missed her."

The bar tender returned and slid my scotch to my hands. "Elevator?" I replied, "why would they be taking the elevator?"

"I don't know," Jen shrugged and ordered herself a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri, "maybe they're just talking."

"Well they gotta be careful on that elevator," the bar tender butted in. "Sorry to interrupt, but that elevator had been acting up lately. A lot of VIPs have been complaining that when they used their card it got stuck around the 20th floor. Is your wife a VIP?"

"Yes," I replied, the back of my throat beginning to burn.

**Eric's POV-**

"Well, we're on the…17th floor." I watched as the numbers rose and gripped Britta's hand tightly.

"Oh joy," Britta huffed.

"This reminds me of the time we tried to go to LA for Taylor's birthday party…" I began laughing just thinking about it.

"I remember that day," Britta exclaimed, "of course the one time I get invited to fucking Taylor Swift's birthday party we get stuck in a parking lot of a fucking traffic jam."

"I'm pretty sure you got out of the car and ran around a few times…"

"I'm pretty sure you peed in the woods," Britta reminded me.

"And I'm also pretty sure the guy in the car in front us thought he was the shit and rolled down all his windows and blasted Eminem."

"And then As Sweet As Sunday came up on his shuffle and he went from being "bad ass" to one of your biggest fans…"

Britta threw her head back laughing, "I think I signed his CD. Probably made his day."

I gazed at her as she remembered that fun day. Her hair was pulled back into a bun with diamonds randomly poked in. Looking as if an artist had acrilically painted it on her make-up was perfect except for the eye liner that was beginning to run down her face.

"You tend to do that a lot," I admitted.

"Do what?" she asked.

"Make peoples days."

"You're too sweet Eric Halvorsen," she rolled her eyes, "you've always been sweet."

The elevator dinged as it reached the 20th floor and we jerked to a stop. "Eric did you feel that?"

"I think we stopped…"

**Kennedy's POV-**

Racing away from the bar, I left the party and ran for the stairs. Each floor was two flights and I flew down four before I got to the lobby. The receptionist looked at me like I had two heads when I came bounding up.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked.

I caught my breath and tried to explain the situation. "My wife…she's in the elevator…pregnant…20th floor…VIP…stuck."

"Hold on sir," the receptionist pressed a button under the counter. "We can see what's happening in the elevator right through the screen there." She pointed to a tiny screen behind the counter and clicked another button.

Soon an image of Britta and Eric appeared on the screen. Their faces were panicked and Britta clutched Eric's hand as she lay in pain.

"She's having contractions!" I screamed, "you have to help! She can't have the babies in the elevator."

"Oh my…okay sir hold on…I'm going to try and radio to the emergency services and they'll be able to come in contact with your wife. Just remain calm and we'll get her out as soon as possible."

She picked up the phone and I took off for the stairs. If they were stuck on the 20th floor, I had 40 flights to climb before I was there.

**Eric's POV-**

"Everything's going to be okay," I repeated over and over to myself as Britta shook in pain.

"No it's not!" she exclaimed. "I'm going to have to have these babies in this fucking elevator and…"

"No you're not!" I urged, "we're going to get help and your babies will be fine."

"How the hell do you know!" she screamed.

"Because…" I heard a crackle of the radio and crawled over to the elevator buttons, "because we're saved!"

"Hello, this is emergency services!" the speaker said, "we understand you're stuck and we're going to get you out as soon as possible. Are you okay? Is your wife okay?"

_Wife._ I sighed and pressed the talk button. "She's uh, she's not my wife. She used to be…" I looked back at Britta and continued to talk, "she's my ex-wife and she's having some pretty bad contractions. They're about 15 minutes apart but when they come…they come."

"Alright sir," the voice replied, "just stay on the line with me as we repair the elevator. We've got someone out there fixing this right now."

"Okay, thank you." I replied.

"Eric come here!" Britta yelled, "I need you! I fucking need you."

I crawled over and grabbed her hand. "I'm so scared," she admitted through her cries. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can do this Britta. You did it once before and you did perfectly. And just think of Hawke now…he's a happy healthy little boy that you love. Just as much as you're gonna love these little boys…"

"Jack and Fletcher." She told me their names and I added them to the end of my rant.

"Promise me something," Britta cried.

"Anything," I replied.

"You're gonna help me. You're gonna be there, you know when they come."

"Britt…I'd love to be there…but they're Kennedy's boys and it's not my…"

"Please just promise you'll be there!"

"Okay," I sighed, "I promise."

**Kennedy's POV-**

I was barely breathing by the time I reached the 20th floor. I raced the elevator area and nearly crashed into the emergency service workers. They had paramedics with them who were waiting to place Britta on a stretcher they'd brought up on the service elevator.

"Who are you?" one guy with a dark grey moustache asked me.

"I'm her husband…the women in there having the babies. They're my babies," I exclaimed, catching my breath.

"Well we just got the radio from the guy down stair and the door should be openin…"

Before he could finish his sentence the door began to slowly open and the paramedics rushed in and I watched as they carried Britta onto the stretcher. Eric followed her out and never let go of her hand. She looked up and me and I watched as her face lit up.

"My husband!" she screamed, "that's my husband, let him over here."

They waved me over and I jogged to her side. I swept the wispy bangs out of her face and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"You ready to have these babies?" I joked.

"No," she replied, "but they're ready to be here, so let's go for it."

I looked up at Eric and he and Britta dropped hands.

"I'll meet you down stairs okay," she said to Britta before starting to the stairs.

"Hold on," I took off after Eric. "Eric wait up!"

He turned around and dropped his tensed shoulders, "what are you doing man? You gotta go…"

"I know," I shook my head, "but I just had to say something."

"What?" he asked.

"Thank you. Thank you for helping her through this. I should have been there…and you were. So thank you for keeping her safe."

"I didn't do anything man," Eric modestly replied, "but I know you have to. So go…I'll meet you down stairs."

"Alright." I patted his shoulder and slightly turned.

"Hey Kennedy man," Eric called after me.

"What's up?"

"Thank you…"

"For what?"

"For always keeping her safe..." he dropped his eyes to the floor and then back up at me, "she really loves you man."

"Always has…" I replied.

"Always will." We took off in different directions and bolted into the service elevator. I couldn't believe…I was about to be a dad.

**Thank you for reading!!**

**love you 3**


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